I try to find clarity in this constantly changing world.
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Layout: vehemency
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Thunder roared as the slim girl ran blindly out into the rain. Ignoring everything, sobbing violently, she ran deep into nearby forest. The night was pitch dark, illuminated by flashes of lightning, she felt alone, betrayed, so very frighteningly lost. Why did he show so little regard for her feelings? How could he not care for her anymore? Thoughts so painful they seemed to drip blood coursed through her stricken mind. Her life seemed to be over, she had no more direction now, that had been a mistake to center her life around him, she realized that not. Too late.Suddenly she collasped against a friendly tree. Loking up at the tumultous sky, she screamed, venting her sadness, anger, hate, and confusion. The sky seemed to quiver at the bone-chiling sound. Everything seemed to spin in circles around her, she swayed, like a willow in the wind, and then she fell, fainting, to the ground. Her mind drifted to a close childhood friend, he always had protected her since her parents died. But he was powerless to protect her emotions. She had run to him to share sorrow and joy. She needed him now, she needed his calming, soothing voice to steady her trembling nerves. But she had grown cold towards him when her beloved had been around, what a mistake, the one she loved never had really cared for her. It was too late.Her last ally had been alienated, she had no one to turn to. It broke on her in an overwhelming flood, she loved him, and had always loved him. Now she realized why he was always on her mind. Now it was too late. Gasping his name, she sank into the black depths of unconciousness....she lay there silently, lifelessly, raindrops pounding her limp body. Her waxen fingers turned blue from the cold. She would not see the morning.......
(to be cont.)
She slumped down in the hard chair, listening to the lecturer's monotonous droning. Even though the sun shone brightly outside, she could not feel sunshine in her heart. INside she cried like a baby, remembering. Outwardly she smiled, laughed, and joked with friends, inner turmoil betrayed only by sudden periods of thoughtful silence. Why was his hold on her so great? Why couldn't she move on, hang the whole affair, and get on with her life? It would be impossible for anything to happen, any cupid arrows, to fly between them..she wasn't even sure if she wanted anything to happen. She almost felt like screaming. Staring blankly at the whiteboard, information on wonderful chemistry atoms reeled uncomprehended through her mind. Her thoughts gave up and drifted slowly but surely back to him. The one who loomed like an unwelcome, yet welcome, spectre over her life the past weeks.Sighing almost inaudibly, she glanced at the highly irritating class know-it-all. How she wanted to flick her book at him and whack his head so he's just shut up. She chuckled at the amusing thought and wondered if she really could throw the book so far. Suddenly the bell rang, and the class erupted into a cacophony of noise. Forgetting him in the rush of recess, she started down the stairs, but then, seeing someone, she flushed imperceptibly and hesitated. Then, pasting on a fake little smile, she brushed past with a slight nod. She had been a fool, no one could replace him. The realization broke on her suddenly like a flood of icy cold water. Everything came back with a rush and she wandered up to her little hiding place. Easing down onto the chair, lunch forgotten, she gazed at the swaying trees and milling clamoring students. Solitude, peace, a much better place to think. Contemplating the mysteries of emotions and the very cursedness of dealing with them, she lay down softly and gazed at the blue sky till it was time for the next lesson. Then the shrill chattering noises of excited students enveloped her and she lost herself again in the day's events.....
That night, lying awake in her bed, pondering anew the tangled intricasies of the problem, she wondered again why she took such a devilishly simple problem so seriously.Seriously, she should forget the whole thing and just sleep! It was late and there was more lectures tomorrow, for crying out loud! But for some reason it still haunted her.. Exasperated with aruging herself, she grabbed her phone and began chatting with some friends, trying, once more, to forget. Where was short term memory when one needed it?? Finally, bidding her friends goodnight, she decided on the only way to resolve the issue once and for all. Either way it was 'die die no win', better to do one's best and fail than do nothing at all...time would tell.........
Hiii ppl!! This is a lil secluded bloggie no one's supposed to know about except mii close frenx =)) So...feel honored... KIDDING!! X)) maybe one day it shall be opened to the public, but for now, pls...some honest comments so i can improve my writing >.<>
PS: Lurvf u guys!! drop by often =)