I try to find clarity in this constantly changing world.

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Layout: vehemency
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I'm sorry i had to fight with you,
i've been broken inside-it's true.
Yes, i know i acted like a bitch,
made you wanna throw me in a ditch.

i'm sorry you had a bad day,
but baby must i be the one to pay?
I never meant to make you hate me,
Now i'm drowning in bloody tears.

I'm sorry i was a pain,
Now i just want to die in a dark drain.
seeing you makes me falter,
but when u see me u just get madder.

Baby i'm sorry for everything,
now on the edge of life i'm balancing,
just want to say i have a thousand regrets,
and i can't seem to forget.

i'm sorry-how must i prove it?
If i fall to the ground at your feet,
will u tell me..
you forgive me..

Here's a story i wrote for my english composition exercise. it got...26.5 over 30.

Moonlight shimmered softly on the falling rain, making it look like golden streaks falling to the ground. The night seemed infused with a magical atmosphere. Leaving the dreamlike view, a girl turned silently away from the rain-streaked window. Having cried all night, she slumped heavily into an armchair with red-rimmed eyes and a vacant expression. Gazing mutely out of the window, being crushed by the immense depression weighing heavily on her heart, she cursed God for her troubles. Having lost all joy of living, she did not care if lightning struck her for her blasphemy, indeed, she would welcome it. Suddenly, in her pain-filled mind, something snapped. Springing wildly to her feel, she yanked open an expensive teak drawer. A shining, well-sharpened knife lay ensconsed in folds of velvet.
Despite her riches, she had never been happy. All her life she had tried to find something to fill the vacumn in her, something real amidst the phony aristocratic life she led. Desperation had driven her to seek happiness in a man. She had now contracted the incurable HIV and was also pregnant.When the news came, she had then lost all desire to live. Her lover had heartlessly abandoned her and she had no family. Now she would seek death as a way out of her dark valley...
THe morning was bright and sunny but strangely no birds sang. Perhaps they too knew of the tragedy. Lying in a mangled heap on her expensive silk bedsheets, the woman had a knife still clasped firmly in her hand. She had stabbed herself repeatedly in the abdomen, evidently venting her anger on the unborn fetus, until her organs were shredded and the womb lay in a bloody puddle on the marble floor. Then she had cut both her wrists so deeply the bone showed through and the blood gushed like rivers. She thus died, guts and baby surrounding her, while the night had darkened the earth. Now in the morning, her muscles had frozen, leaving her dead body in a grosteque position and a frienzied, crazed expression carved on her face. Her skin was pale, nearly transparent.All the blood had been drained out of her.She lay there undisturbed. A fly that had somehow penetrated the closed windows settled down on her bloodclotted knife. No one would know of her death until she failed to open the door for a random visitor because she had lived alone and died alone. Outside a dog howled mournfully, it was as if he cried for her, and for the many similar unhappy people on earth.....

okayy...nvr blog for a loong time le. no story update too...sorry.will do that tmr maybe. the stupid tests were too tiring! n now only one week break. WTH. anyway...i can't really see too well in the dark..so..will write in the story tml. unfortunately, the tale has been criticized by my freaking brother from tail to head and back again, so , ust remember..it's used to express myself, NOT to get full marks in an exam. ha.
oh yeah.
gorgor going army le. sad. but have a good time if u can ba. ^.^ u need to become a man.. bleah..don't all of u. LoL. NO offense. but going to the army makes de boys tougher..gets them into a more manly mold, not so wishy-washy anymore. haha.well, i'm not too sure on that count too coz more guys i know haven't got into de army yet. except my dad. which brings me to another point.
ppl say a gal chooses a bf who is most like her father. i don't fully agree, but i know my dad is a great example when it comes to being protective but not overly. n that's how i want my future bf to be. Able to make me feel protected, but not like he's a bodyguard or something. Just a sense of safety and security whenever i'm with him. Not the kind where they ask u if ur alright the moment u flounder over a rock in the path or make a big thing out of grabbing you tight, but the type who quietly supports you with minimum fuss and noise. of course he has to be strong lahx. i mean, when u protect ur gal, just don't make a big fuss over or out of it. makes me just feel totally uncomfortable and like an invalid of sorts. ha. and of couse you shouldn't be the totally poker-face type that masks his concern when he should be showing it. haha.
sheesh i am picky aren't i?
kk....i promise ther'll be a story next time i blog. X))