hey.some computer expert. can you tell me what's wrong? i cannot post beyond a certain length..........and it's driving me NUTS. n-u-t-s. nuts. lol.

She'd become numb to him. it was almost as if he ripped at her heart everyday until at last she could feel the stinging pain no more, and only a dull ache remained. she could see the blood flowing, but couldn't feel the pain. she could see her heart shiver in hurt and weaken, but couldn't feel the anger. it was like he had conditioned her to expect this and she had complied. she was broken like a wild horse is broken.only sometimes did she resist the pain, only sometimes could she release the emotions through burning tears that held so much hurt they may as well be rivulets of fire. but no, most of the time she let the pain build, afraid and unable to show it. she could watch passively as he loved another...she was resigned to Destiny...

yesterday was uberuber fun!! went to Sentosa with Qiangqiang, xujie, pengpeng, ET, my dear yaoyao, xuemin, sammyboy, chaolong, chaolong mei, chaolong two frens. haha. quite alot lo. so we go to PAlawan beach, and went onto the small island with the watchtower thingy. =P and den, pitched the tent, threw our bags in, then changed n 'dived'. actually more like 'tentatively entered the water'.. haha anyway...so the moment i went near da water, the others who were throwing SAND at each other started targeting me, despite my protests against getting my hair wet. =-=''' but nvm, it was fun. so xu jie forced me to swim out to whr i couldn't touch the floor, and made me get my hair wet lo. haiz. now even after one wash my hair is STILL saline-ish.

haha. anyway. the bottom of the sea bed we were at was SO disgusting, black n squishy like..... you-know-what! and when i first felt it i screamed n jumped onto whoever was nearest me at that time. =Pso after discovering a kotex pad floating after them in thewater, the usually disgusting guys freaked out and lugged the tent across the bridge back to mainland sentosa. of course, after they entered the water again, the kotex pad reappeared and made ET scream. kinda. haizzzzz.... childiiishhhh. =P [i should talk right!!!]]then we went to the water feature where they did a LOT of weird things and the gals either talked[xuemin,liuyao] or just relaxed[me]. i was like getting drunk on the beach atmosphere so stsarted having quite a bad attack of zi bi zhen ! haha..on the way back on the mrt, i was so sleepy and intoxicated by the beach that i couldn't walk straight, couldn't carry on a normal conversation, and ended up by tripping on the travellator. =_= thank goodness my g-d was there to watch me..and minmin also. after i tripped on the thing, she just locked arms with me and was like, ''i better hang on to you, no wonder your g-d was watching you so closely! '' LOL. sniffs. touched by u guys TLC of me when im sooo blur. >_

well. okay. i'm checking to see if this blog will allow me have longer posts. if it does, i'll change to here. AHhaa. okay.
yesterday was uberuber fun!! went to Sentosa with Qiangqiang, xujie, pengpeng, ET, my dear yaoyao, xuemin, sammyboy, chaolong, chaolong mei, chaolong two frens. haha. quite alot lo. so we go to PAlawan beach, and went onto the small island with the watchtower thingy. =P and

hihi. okie. emoing over. =) well, im still having my pissed-mad-syndrome, so still not that happy laah. =P let's talk about ytd, since today all i did was study and watch TV. LOL.

saturday:
fun.
went to church by 163
really really long ride.
met tingting!
which is good since we can seldom hang out
thanks to conflicting 'cliques'
or whatever..
she was MUMBLING to Ms Tan lah.! like, sleep talking...sheesh..laugh until not sleepy already.
and then my Tai Jian came to meet me also..
overall ppl were like being realli nice to me lah.
saw Jia Sin...but cannot stay long coz wanna go out. lol.
coz i was tired >_<
Emmanuel gave me a kiss!!cute boyboy. well...lucky it wasn't my first. pai seh...if my first kiss was from a lil kid. =P
we were supposed to split after that, but bu she de so we went united to eat at PastaMania! did i tell u i have an addiction to spaghetti now???
after that she gotta meet her...fren...like...fren...*ahemahem* so...
i went library with tai jian and big bird..
almost got into trouble at da library...
the tai jian keep saying he wanna jian wo which is retarded. =_=
ANYWAY.
then went home....and watched Just My Luck. swt.

woke up today with very very zhong eyes. =( wdvr. did all my hw except chinese and last last wks english. gonna slack n watch Bring it on all or nothing now. ta taaaaa

There is a bloody problem with EVERYTHING!
from my computer
to my school
to my church
to my currently UNLIVEABLE house.
won't someone come and rescue me from this hell hole of LIFE?
i swear if nothing is done soon, if nothing changes soon, i'm gonna go crazy.
and those ppl who were around last year and saw what happened will tell you that IT ISN"T A GOOD THING WHEN I GO NUTS>
as in REALLY NUTS. not the playful nuts.
im so emo and that's not good!!
fought it all week and today it just all came crashing down.
everything is seeming to fall apart, and heck!
who's gonna be there to catch me?

im scared of heights...and scared of falling too....

che...where to start. well, it's supposed to be a really bad week, coz practically everyone is having PMS ice cow syndrome, including lil old me. so. yeah. go figure. bunch of pms-ing ladies with sec 4 stress all thrown tgh in school. hehehe. im having it pretty bad...but trying to cover up. ALSO, everytime i get really emo, either chacha, yenyen or vivi will somehow make me forget what i was being emo about! ahhaha. loves to u guys man~~OH. not forgetting SOMEBODY who's been realli weird but cute these past few daysss. =))

ytd was CCA day! and omg...so tiring. she made us do practically twice as fast and as much! she was like,''you do *this* to seduce your bf and get his attention! and if he still doesn't pay attention, you do *THIS*''basically it's censored lah. and damn sexy if done right. ;) anyway. today i was aching aching aching all over, and body was bloated also all day, so basically i walked around like a preggie woman holding onto my back and all. =_='''

so after lessons were over today, i went to play bball! well, not really play lah, just.....run around with a ball. si ji tou and Ice-cube were there...and as usual i kena tortured by them. actually...ice-cube was really swt today lah. like, i'm climbing this frame, and my skirt is geting dangerously close to their eye level? so he tells me to''down!'' like imma dog or smthing. but hey! that's a hell lot better than what my other fren was doing, threatening to look and all that. =_=''' almost protective na.... [????] he's a nice guy.... SOMETIMES. den they started chasing me whenever they weren't chasing the ball!coz they wanted to poke me. i thought. den once ice-cube DID catch me. OMG. he carried me. like, freak! he's so strong....ANYWAY. it's been a fun day. although i had to do one english compre and chinese summary. THAT part sucks.
oh yah, poor baby got detention today. dark vader made him pick up rubbish. EVIL! T_T

didn't go to church ytd! so can only write about last saturday! ahha. i still can't really believe it loh~! I'm standing in the pew during the half-time break, look towards the back, and see him walking in. like, WTH? i thought he said church was a waste of time blahblahblah...haha..greatest cynic in my class-most adorable one too-i should add. so i kinda freaked out and had ppl asking what's wrong and all that. and he stayed thru the whole thing and thru lunch! but of course i wasn't there at lunch, so sad! anyway.

on thursday, it was poke-dawn-fest. =_=''' kaoss....on that day the darn teacher had moved out seats! so practically everyone had different places. so! behind me in this HK guy, in front of me is this cute guy from i-dunno-where. and behind behind me, is Tai Jian, and next to the Tai Jian is Ice Cube. so during math period, they[tai jian and ice cube] threw notes at my HEAD. =_=. childish. and the content of the notes? stuff about....things u dun wanna know abt. after math was english. the Tai Jian started it first, as he always does, and he poked me-hard- on my right. When i wanted to go kick butt, BOTH of them yelled for the teacher. =_=''' so i sat down again. and tai jian poked me again! ARGGHHHH. when i was trying to kill him with a death glare, ice cube goes''look there!'' and then pokes me in the other side! at that point i give up and just SIT. and get poked SIMULTANEOUSLY on both sides. by both wicked wicked ppl.after a timeout, the HK guy behind me stands up and pokes me. on both sides. and expectedly i jumped and slammed my elbows in to my chair. owwwwww. and when i thought it was all over...i get poked going down stairs by some person who wants to kill me. [!!!!!!!] SOMEBODY help me...

today was PHENOMENAL. which basically means 'unusual in the extreme'. yups. had english comprehension today, and he asked me to lend him my compre after i finished! so i was like rushing to finish it lo! and he copy during bio. =_=''' NAD i only got 75% for my english file!!! WTFH?? and this guy who gets lower den me for practically every single exercise got like, 85%!!!! how come??? gaah..that's what happens when you have a tempermental teacher. and an all chinese freking class. shhheeeeit. *steaming from ears* anyway! after bio, it was bloody raining like hell, so couldn't leave. den my clazz so boring, went to find 4-2. AND. they were playin' STRIP POKER. HAHAHAH. there was freakin guys with their FLY open~!!! but when i saw one like..fat..guy with his shirt open and mulitiple spare tires, i totally freaked n ran out. LOL. sheesh. den later went back, and vivi+anth+dana+thongthitt+cin were like playin black jack, asked me to join. so i did. and OMG. even tho i was blurblur vivi helped me and it was SO so SO fun. we had Truth or dare for the loser/s .... omg! the guys were really mean to Cin...coz i think dey dun realli like her. dey treat her like slut.. ANYWAY. when i lost..den wanted to make me KISS HER. EWCK! no way. so later they made me go up to ET, and like act 'seductive" and say:

''Eugene, i love you. i love you SOOO much. do you love me too???''

oh my goshh. he was So freaked coz i had to sit ON his table in da supposedly 'sexy-devil' kinda way except i was in my freakin uniform n it was more like 'psycho-weirdo' kinda way! haaha. and at the end of the whole thing? miss tan now knows who i like. wdvr