I try to find clarity in this constantly changing world.

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Layout: vehemency
Icon: reruntherace

The Bottom Line:
Still holding on to hurt feelings from your past? Today's the day to move past them.

In Detail:
If you're still holding on to some hurt feelings or leftover issues from your past, today is the day that you need to move past them. They are clouding your thinking and causing you to think things about someone in your life right now that simply aren't true. Are you judging someone based on the actions of someone else? This person's role in your life is potentially very important, so you need to spend time with them today and give them the chance to show you who they really are.


Virgo's horoscope for today..
oh it's so true/ so true.

as to quote ting ting....
sometimes it's not that you've forgotten, it's just youre avoiding the inevitable.

ariel ariel ariel is so so so so so so ARGH.
i just fuckin want him. HAHHAHA.
as if.
he's a freakin superstar.

Kukatakan dengan indah
Dengan terbuka
Hatiku hampa
Sepertinya luka
Menghampirinya
Kau beri rasa
Yang berbeda
Mungkin kusalah
Mengartikannya
Yang kurasa cinta

* Tetapi hatiku
Selalu memimpikanmu
Terlalu meninggikanmu
Selalu meninggikanmu

** Kau hancurkan hatiku
Hancurkan lagi
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu
Kau terangi jiwaku
Kau redupkan lagih
Kau hancurkan hatiku
Tuk melihatmu

*Membuatku terjatuh
Dan terjatuh lagi
** Membuatku merasakan
Yang tlah terjadi
Semua yang terbaik
Dan yang terlewati
Semua yang terhenti
Tanpa kuakhiri


[[i said it beautifully]]

hahaha.
bored.
angsty.
go slp le =))

argh.
just so....
FRUSTRATED.
stuff ain't turning out right..
firstly, memories are coming back.
double argh.
then.
i can't find food to eat near my workplace. every day is the same old same oldddd.
and.
no time to spend with my darlingsss.
esp[!!!] Ting, Cha , n Pandaaa.
who are also all busy with their respective stuffs.
triple argh!
xin ku le!!
on top of it all is the greatestttttt insult.
WRITER"s BLOCK!!!!!
fark.

just super damn emo this wk .
usually i can fake a smile..
but still once in awhile the ugly side will show thru,
like when i snap at ppl over small stuff or cry over smaller stuff.
dun worry, nvr snap at customers lahh.
HAIS.

it allll started with a simple question.

[[the mem'ries of a thousand dreams doth haunt my harrow'd slumber]]

aight..
no mood to be bitchy..
so like all the gos-slips i've collected will go unpublished.
that's sadd.

anyway.
saturday was relaxing..
church, me n YT slept during the INCREDIBLY BORING AND UNINSPIRED SERMON.at any rate, couldnt' hear a thing, cos i was annoyed since de beginning of the sermon, so shut out ITS annoying and fugly face by closing my eyes and its equally grating voice with blasted music from my pod. sweet. =)) then went with YT to 'chard in a cabbie...bought subwayy, and then wwent to the libraryyy ! slept at my sweetie's house..then went out for dinner wit my SIL n her current flaggie. HAHHA.
sad sad pathetique state of affairs there. but. it's none of My Business =))

My Business, apparently, is to keep opening n closing Density for the next 3 days straight. T.T
one day if i forget to lock up...Someone is gonna kill me. nahhh.
i don't think i'l b that tired huh...relackkkk =D

just..
kinda emo today..
talked to my friend about some stuff..
n it kinda brings up 'bad' memories?
dunch know.

[[for t'were the wound caust'd , t'would i ha' not suffer'd this thrice the anguish ere time i heared his name]]

aight. shakespeare is getting to me. HAHA.
which reminds me.
been reading the play of ''marc antoine and cleopatra''
V. nice and good reading.
------the playwriting is so good, u don't nd a stage to see the acting and feel the emotions n atmosphere in each act.---------

now i'm reaching the end..
feel like wanna cry.
go read it lah.
then u will understand.
HAHA..
but it's traumatizing for me to read that book...
cos
of
one
stupid
little
word.

lalala. nitenite sweethearts =))

laahhss...
work today as usual.
no energy to be bitchy. =))

which is sad...
cos i hav a whole lot of stuff to write abouttttttttt.

MAURITIAN BREAD MONSTER VS. AMERICAN COOKIE MONSTER.


HAHAHHAA =))

ok...
tmr getto see my two of my three darlings =))
tinggg n pandaaa!


cha cha! ur my next priority! muakkss**


nitesss ppl!

[[For everything i have dreamed, I didn't know how to dream of this.]]

Vday... haha.
worked till 7, then went for dinner. Our first time, so like, we didn't know the fuckin boat was gonna be fully booked. Went elsewhere to eat.... and acted-un-dawn-ish by asking him to go get the drinks. hahaa... whatever. Was at a lost as to what to do, so just resorted to that... n slipped the ring into his RICE. lol.
im just thinking....what the heck is Vday anyway, if u love someone, everyday with them shud be Vday. cos vday is a day when ppl show their love and stuff...so shouldn't that be everyday? hahaha.
to me it's just basically an excuse to give chocolates =))

[[stuff has been rough this first weeks after getting back together, but i believe if we can stick it out the first month, it'll all be alright again =)) ]]

cos even tho i'm officiallly a Bitch,
i don't think i've ever loved a guy like i do now =P

just hope he feels the same >_<'''



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TATCHAAAAA :
heyy girl. sorry i haven't contacted you yet, figured you were busy and then i started my new job n so yeah,i just saw ur shoutout today, and i'll contact u really soon! my next offday is Monday ! [i think] so yeah, miss you so much my girl =))
PS: i'm workin wit ya fave masseuse! lollss...
XOXO~~

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I'll be leaving like end august....But going to tennessee for two weeks in june.
about 6 months left?
it's exciting and yes, it's frightening.
Mayb no one knows it, but my feet are really relaly cold about going there, but it's just something i have to do. Just hope my Baby n my darlingSss will still be here waiting for me when i do come back...
oh well.
the world is smaller now...
The internet connects everyone =))

don't think about it now.
gonna clean my babies cages...

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

You Are 52% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy. You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends... But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

You Are Rum

You're the life of the party, and a total flirt You are also pretty picky about what you drink Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do Except if you're dieting - then it's Diet Coke and Bicardi all the way

im so so so so so effing hungry....
today...had ppl over at my house.my juniors. hahaha. and and and then went out with Circle . Kung Fu Dunk rocks! hahaha..... extrememly cool bball action. but kinda unrealistic lah. HAHA. lunch was ...alright lah. fast food two days in a row.... blehhs.
and then and then and then now at home. slept too soundly and thus missed my bus stop.
reached home... and now waiiiiting for dinner to come home, with my parents. haha.
a totally blehh day.

suddenly, kinda scared to leave to Southern.A.U
but thenn...no choice right?
education comes first.
=P

just hope i have the courage to survive..
lalalalas~~

Your Scent is Strawberry

Fun, flirty, and fresh. You're a complete sweetheart that makes everyone smile!

Your Scent is Strawberry

Fun, flirty, and fresh. You're a complete sweetheart that makes everyone smile!

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You don't really value honesty. You do value getting your way, no matter what. And if a little lying is required to do that, no problem. A few white lies never hurt anyone (at least, that's what you tell yourself!) Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility a fair amount. You tend to be an easy going, humble person. But occasionally your ego takes over. You have a slight competitive streak - and the need to be the best. Tolerance: You value tolerance a fair amount. You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas. You have very few prejudices that you're aware of. And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

i feel like i don't have the right to speak out what is on my mind. I can't. I just can't form the words. So they just stay inside me. The emotions, the questions, everything. Because i know what answer you will give me.that I'm thinking too much. haha. whatever. must it be we have to lose eah other before we realize how to appreciate each other? maybe you really didn't need me as much as you thought you did. If that's the case, i give you permission to back out. Now. Because you can give me all the reassuring words you want, but words don't mean anything to me now, i need the actions. which is hard, because i dont' hardly see you.i know, cos i wanna show you how much i miss you, how much i want this to work, but it's so hard. so yeah. Maybe we're just killling ourselves, wasting time. i can't see you without feeling emotions that i hate. Childish. but i'm trying to control it.

''just fucking grow up, dawn.''


cheerio people.

Insecure.

This ain't the time for me to cry
This ain't the time for me to start trippin'.
Cos i don't know how much you try
And maybe im overreacting, to all your overturing,
But there's somethin' you oughta know
One day when you push it, imma start flippin'
Cos im feeling,
Insecure.

You see me tryin' to smile
Then suddenly i'm cryin'.
It's shocking, you're losing your smile
You're asking me what's wrong, singin' me ur song,
But baby there's something you're missing
I'm not sad to be with you, no baby not at all
It's just i'm,
Insecure.


Bitching to my girls, yo'
Screaming to the walls.
I'm thinking, if u ever thought why i thought, so
there was shit between y'all, am i gonna have to take the fall,
So you're saying it ain't true, so show me
Cos i'm hating this, this crazed feeling
I hate being,
Insecure.

Your EQ is 127

You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live your life well. Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well. You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and level headed. You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get better.

You Are Somewhat Sexy

While you may not be the sexiest person in the world, you have your sexy moments. You sometimes carry yourself well, and it gets you a lot of attention. You have a lot of sex appeal ... as long as you remain confident, friendly, and adventurous. The only times you seem unsexy are when you lose your confidence or sense of adventure. How You Are Sexy You keep your body fit and healthy, and that's hot. Plus, sweating is also sexy! You are secure in social situations, and you definitely have a confident vibe. And that's very sexy. How You Aren't Sexy Your underwear is not sexy, and you may be feeling a little unsexy because of it. Why not spice things up under your clothes? You aren't too happy with your looks, and it definitely shows. You're never going to be sexy if you don't believe it yourself!

Your Love is Based on Friendship

For you, chemistry doesn't really happen without compatibility. Companionship and openness are the most important parts of your relationships. Whoever you love should be your best friend. And falling in love with a good friend is never out of the question. Why your love can last: You only fall for people who you truly understand... and who truly understand you Why your love can fail: Sometimes you don't admit how important physical chemistry is to you

//He took her appetite away. Couldn't he realize, she didn't want to see him wearing them because of a purely feminine attribute? insecurity? ouch. The pain grew worse in her stomach. She knew she was over reacting but somehow she couldn't control it. No matter how she told herself she had overcome this problem , it always came back to haunt her. Overcome one level, and he was pushing her limits yet further. She hated it. Then she snapped at him for a purely miinor reason, shocking both him and herself into silence. Bending her head down to supposedly bless the food, she was actually fighting to keep the tears down in her heart without letting him overflow and spoil the evening further. 12 hours without food, just sugared drinks to supply energy, and she still couldn't eat. Perhaps being tgh again was a mistake? Mayb they just belonged to two seperate classes of people and would be better off with their own 'kind'? Mayb it just couldn't work. If he truly cared that much for her, maybe he'd realize why she didn't want to look him in the face, why she avoided his touch, why she was cold to his every move. Maybe he'd only realize when it was too late. Perhaps one day, she would show him how she had felt. By doing the same thing to him. If one day he saw her modeling the jacket of a man other than himself, what would his reaction be?//





eh lehhh... emo post. but just had inspiration ^^
dinner with my darling today, after work. i love my boss. HAHA. working at Density-Square 2, level 1. =)) nice clothes, most of them . haha. 90% of them lah.anyway....
kept sleeping so soundly on the bus that i kept banging my head on the window
Jeez,,,,such a loud konk.paiseh. but i couldn't feel the painn. ouch.

there's a heck lot of things going thru my mind these days ..
don't know.
don't care.
anyway. by some delightful accident, my darling aunti is staying back till the 4th. hee!
four more precious days in which we can bullly her =D

so today... nothing much happened. sorry if im like antisocial or extra-cold or stuff like that, cos according to my calendar, i have the 'right' to be a total PMS-ice bitch right now...hehehe. and the thing is that i totally feel like one.. =P

the day is totally rainy and grey. nice. matches my mood actually. even tho i shud be happy cos friends are back and all. so yeah, trying to break thru my hormonal mental block.

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a short story coming up. but no mood to write today. hehehe.