I try to find clarity in this constantly changing world.

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today huh...
worked.
then, left early to get my ass down to the US of A embassy, pick up my F1 visa. OMG. they made us sit in the freaking carpark luh! is this the way to treat ur visitors???? hiyo.

anyway, it was hard to find the bus going to the embassy, cos all the roads in orchard where the bus was were like, one direction onli! so in the end, i walked walked and walked somemore, then gave up and took a cab. HEHE.

then met up with yt for dinner/lunch.,.... hmm, subway! sooooo hungry lo!

after dinner, on impulse, i went down to AMK to meet my baby boy.... heheh!today was all about pushing myself. tired, climb more steps. can't find the building, stubborn stubborn still walk. sleepy like hell, go AMK. but hellll, it was worth it. hehe. it was so relaxing slpping on the marbletop bench with him.. hehe.

then went home to watch my ANTM... love the blondes! but heather is just going to pieces,. hais,. sad.

now.
i wanna slp!

the best way to make up after a fight is go look at all the pretty pretty colours and TEST THEM OUT. heheee.... i bought the brown colour u can see on my middly fingery =D

eeee. i think i look happy here. mayb he just looks traumatized?

tweety is traumatized toooo!!~~

sorry. i just love my multi coloured nails =D

THEN DO IT.
cos i don't want to let you go.

you should know.
i love you too

first things first, this is a very very loud and pissed off shout out to the SELF PROCLAIMED LOSER in my tagboard. i can't tell you how much im pissed off about this.

firstly, what do we learn in comprehension??
read, and then re-read. why??? because, if you only read it once, you're going to cause a shitload of miscommunications and misunderstandings.
in my post, did i say no qualifications= loser?
did i say a LOSER ENTERED MY LIFE?

I DONT THINK SO.

firstly, i wouldn't call you a loser.

second, if you read carefully, the loser/ahbeng post is connected to the curling iron thing above it. DO YOU USE A CURLING IRON FOR YOUR HAIR??????

third, are YOU an ahbeng? if so,. i didn't know it.

fourth, WHAT IS UP WITH THE HATING ON MY TAGBOARD????

fifth, whatever shit problems you have with me, come talk in private. i respected your privacy so far by NOT saying much on my blog, i expect you to do the same.

sixth, if i wanted to kick losers out of my life, I DON"T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHEN TO DO IT. i know what i want to do and i know when to do it. besides, unless you want to be a loser, then i DON"T think i have any losers in my life.

seventh, all this talk about losers is making me feel completely primary school and giving my high blood pressure so i'm going to stop HERE.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
apparently my last post was too VAGUE or complicated for some, so let me just say...
the person referred to there, is not from church. unless some of you happen to use curling irons for your hair and i don't know about it. hehe. or are un-naturally ahbeng-ish. which, i don't think there are luh.

it's just this joke between tatcha and i, about someone we knew in school who is turning out to be a total lameass freak. the blind and now i see comment was because i used to like him last time. yeah. ok. people, let's get things clear before you start tripping on my taggie aight?


dammmnnnnn.

oh.
i jst remembered!
tatcha told me something hilarious............................

CURLING IRONS.
did you know some guys actually USE a curling iron on their hair????
omg. that is like SO dumbshit i actually have nothing to say. HEHEHEHHE....

next time, get a bikini wax dude, or mayb do a facial while yo're at it.
want me to give you a 3 in 1 spa package???

HAHAHA.
gosh.

people now adays.
and if you don't have it in you to be an ''ah beng''. don't try. cos it's TOTALLY disgusting.
i mean, where the hell is your selfrespect if you think it's cool to act like an ahbeng just in order to fit into school??
gosh.,
i never knew you were such a loser. as in, you lose , everything. hah...

i was blind but now i see =)

actually i see long long time ago oledi lehhhs.

it's just that it's important to me, and if you can't do it, if you don't think you can make that effort, for your own sake if not for mine, then forget it. if you can't do it, you can't be mine.

think about it.
and you better be sure about the decision you make.
cos i don't know how much more of this i can take.

oooooooooo and another thing.
this crap about being ''hooked on another series'' ? it's AURGH, there's Nothing to be addicted to on the TV nowwwww. dammit. people! wake up!


okie. enuf bitchin'....

look.
you don't have to watch the show, if you don;t want to, nobody's forcing you!
and, if you DO decide to watch it, for heavens sake do NOT pull such a face that says you're disgusted with the show. cos you look positively like a BULLDOG when you do that, FUGLY. no, wait, a bulldog is cuter . so yeah, just don't. if you think it's so violent, so fuckshit, so BENEATH YOU, then don't freaking watch it! anyway, thinking about the fact that you actually come from this PLACE that has RULES against television, i'd think perhaps such a dedicated one such as yourself would refrain from watching tv even when you're out. so, like, since you're gonna watch, get off your fucking high horse and admit you like it. =)
i can't standdddd these snotty kinda ppl, thinking they're so different and acting like it. damn.
the bottom line is this.
if you wanna do the things we MORTALS do, then please, don't look so disgusted while doing it, cos you KNOW YOU WANT TO.

gRAH,

my cute Lukiee=)

wif my twin at k'

yup, im dieting, DAMMIT.

and this is my black bikini, that YANTING helped me to find =)) and accompanied me to buy. whoo~

YT's and mine PM lunch! aft. she finished e exam. yeahhhh~~~~

in her car, today, with the tatty bears, =D

yuppp.

okay. that's all the cam whoring today.

but just wanna make a shoutout...

to a certain grp of adorable ppl, HAHAHAHAHAHHA now then you tell me u dun like her. SLOW LUH. but she's so cuuuuuteeee leh.....

*amazed*

i seriously need to keep up with the gossip more huh,,,

===================================================================

okie. and one more note, to my darling boy, I LOVE THE THEME YOU MADE FOR MEEEEEEE~~ it's got all my favorite colours and omgomgomgomg i just love it so much =)) hehehehe...

thank YOU.

omgomgomg.

OMG.

yesterday yt's horrible econs paper finally got lost for good la... and so we met up... LOL. missed that girl man....
yeah, even tho i last saw her on tues onli. HAHAHA. went PM to eat, my second lunch, then decided to go shopping. ''window'' shopping. HAHAHAHA. omg. ends up, she bought like 2 dresses and one belt...i bought one belt .....and a bikini. LOL. black. it's ....nice? according to the Bikini Expert otherwise known as LYT...but i think i gotta get used to it a bit. cos i feel ....damn exposed. HAHHA! serious la! nvm, i bought padding. hehehe......


ahnyway...dinner, i had icekachang. heh heh heh.

and yes, all in all it was this daymn satisfying day with my girlfriend. haha.

lallalaa....

still haven go ntuc yet leh!

bleh whatevs,.

darling came over to my place today....took dmn long can! hahaha,...then helped me with some computer stuffs. hmm....

tmr suntanning??
heh heh....im gonna feel so like a beached whale luh~

AKAYS.
WALK DOG NOW. double blehhhh.



not to mention the msian *toot* that just came back. triple blehhh.
AND the ass who just can't shut UP.
gosh.
i wanna change address....


xoxo~~

yesterday was dammmn fun. but a bit psychotic. imagine travelling for two hours to see some one for one hour. kao. that's how much i miss u la... but it was worth it. cos i saw, stalker boy! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. jackassss.... next time intro to melvin they can stalk you tgh. =D

and pasta mania was goooood...finally ate my mango pizza. hehehhe. and and and when i was sitting there i thought i saw someone, but it wasn't la. thank goodness. heh.

HOWEVER.
i seriously have a golden mouth ..
cos when i went to united to meet my dad for Round 2 of PM, yup. i saw the ADA gang...
last time used to be blur gang lo, and now it's cut downt ot half the population , leaving them with ADA. hahaha.
their boss dunno where, and i think their mascot has become their ex-mascot, getting rounder in indo. well well, all speculation here , m'darlings. but there HAVE been rumours. heh heh.....

it's no biggie.
after all....
since sex is natural before marriage, having a baby should be natural toooo *blinks innocently*

aight.
whatever.
i'm bored and so im crapping,...

meeting zoee soon...
im gonna be late =)

XOXO~~

omg...

i just realizd i can camwhore with my girlfriend even when i'm thousands of miles away! that's great news!

hahaha,,,,

hey! i can change e pic for my skin without changing the whole skin. coooool =)
like it?

wheeeeeeee~! hehehehhehe.
today was relaxing.
LOL.
my life is like the opposite of yt luh....when i'm working, she's not workin, when 'm slack, she's rushing her ass off. HAHAHHAA. shuang dao lo. *evil grin* anyway,,,!

i skipped lunch. so proud of that. HAHAHA. been consuming too many damn calories now a days la! ever since my nausea left me, it's like i've been making up for lost time!

tmr i plan to study though. stupid ACT. so different from anything i've done. hmphs. taking notes like crazy, need to buy new pen soon. hahaa.

tmr...mayb gonna see my girl. OMG. i hope the food fair in taka is still open lo! i wanna buy jelli beans for someone,. hehehe. then i need to get my ass down to novena to take pix for american embassy. fuckkkk fuck fuck fuck fuck.

anyway!

i've been thinking, i need to get back to writing my songs and shite. poetry!
thing is, i need a muse, hahaha.
like, i dont' seem to have one right now......
hmmmm.....
we'll see what we'll see!


oh well.
guess what?
it's july.
HAHHAHAHHA.
oh i SO love this month. *smirkss*

yo yo yo yo!!!!!
ehmgosh...
saturday was so frigging fun,,,
we flew to US to eat macs breakfast.
yeah, i took cab, darling took BMW. HAHA.
was supposed to take nine eight zero to US, BUUTTTTTTT took nine SIX zero instead la! omg. took until bukit timah there, then realized my mistake, and took a cab back. i swear, cabbing is so fun luh! IF i ever have tons of cash, i'll confirm take cab often de, HAHA.
so anyway....had to wait for a seat in Macs, anddddd wait for the staff to freaking wake up... hahahha.... someone says i'm getting really stuck-up these days. hmm. maybe! i just want 'good' service if i have to pay for it. hehehe. oh well.
anyway. finally got our b/f... yummm. pancakes in ooooozyyyy syruup. tons of calories. but, freak care! life is short, i'm gonna enjoy with my darlings for the next one month. cos it's gonna be nine friiggging months before i can do it again luh!
hmphs....
[nevermind darling girl, we do online shopping]
and don't think about the nine months, think about the three months! hahahaha.
cos everytime i think about hte nine months i swear i feel like crying my eyes out.. but big girls don't cry, we just be stubborn and smile. hahaha.
yeah, recently i've been keeping my mind on the small small details of the trip. like, what to bring, what i'l need to pack, etc etc. keeps my mind off the fact that i'm gonna miss the hell out of you guys here la.

OKAY. on to better topics. aftr church yt had a......meeting......and i had a meeting with an irate dude, [hahahahaha] so... we'll continue our date on thurs. =)
afternoon uneventful. slept the whole way. no. seriously slept. haha! then evening rushed down to Novena again to pick up our DRESSES from cotton on. whooo! i love them can! and and and i ate two plates of rice with indo dishes. heh heh. miss rice. but now i miss pasta. i swear, my life is seventy percent pasta and thiry percent rice. hahha.mayb more like ninety percent noodles and ten percent rice. heck care rice shortage ah!!

omgomgomgomg. hahaha.

okay. today ne, went to work at genesis. supposed to go iceskating! sad. damn sad la!
it's like, was so looking forward to playing with sha. but,,,duty called la. nvm girl, if you reading this, next time we go eat pasta mania tgh. ahahhaha! or whatever u wanna do... date me. LOL.

work was okay though....quite slack. but walked alot! and stupid cook didnt' warn me which plate had garlic inside, and i'm damn allergic to some kinds of cooked garlic, like a vampire...yeah. so i felt super sick.... but after a trip to national library and a long long long nap at the staff room in SYAS...i was chipper enough for dinner at Subway, LOL. ALTHOUGH my voice was weirdly low from the satisfying nap i had. LOL. curled up with mdm ning's pillow. EW. but. comfy. hahahha.

okay. gonna slp now. tmr nth much, meeting up with my darling boy,....
tues mayb going to town...
wed mayb meeting twin..
thurs YES!.....our 'les' date... hahhaa...
kkats. that's my week for now. onli thing confirmed is this thurs. yayys. haha.

k. gonna slp le. been typing in the dark. scary! but improves your aiming on the keyboard la. heheh. =) loves!

xxoo~

What the Beach Test Says About You

You tend to be a very social person. You live for your friends and family. You can get social burnout occasionally though. You aren't a total extrovert. You fall in love with ease and confidence. Even if you've had bad experiences in the past, each new love is a reason to start completely over. You are deeply passionate about several things in your life. You're not passionate about much... and the few passions you have are truly obsessions. Your sense of humor is very physical. Your facial expressions or spot on imitations of people are hilarious.

What Your Taste in Music Says About You

Your musical tastes are intense and rebellious. You are intelligent... but in a very unconventional way. You are curious about the world. You love doing something new. In fact, you enjoy taking risks and doing things most people would shy away from. You are very physical. It's likely that you're athletic, but not into team sports. You have the soul of an artist. Beauty and harmony are important to you.

What Your These Fireworks Say About You

You are deeply passionate about a few things in your life. Everything else, you couldn't care less about. Your passions tend to hold steady over time. If anything, they intensify. Once you hold on to something (or someone), you don't let go!

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:
First real best friend:
shanice=)
-
First real girlfriend/boyfriend:
G
-
First school:
SYAS
-
EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS:
Last person you hugged:
my mom.
-
Last car ride:
grampa
-
Last time u cried:
couple weeks? can't remember.
-
Last movie u watched:
juno! lol...
-
Last food u ate:
Baileys and bourbon icecream. i think,
-
Last item bought:
brownies? i've got this choco craving syndrome now.[CCS]
-
Last shirt worn
shirt?
-
Last phone call:
darling panda
-
Last thing u touched:
this keyboard la!
-
Last funeral:
my great uncle's?
-
Last time at the mall:
today? cineleisure.
-
Last time u were excited for something:
everyday i'm excited about mealtime. HAHA.
-
Last person u saw:
my mom who just walked in.
-
Last thing u drank:
ice lemon tea.
-
Last person that broke ur heart:
last person? panda lo. heheh.
-
Last time you were really, honestly happy?
just now.with zoee. hehehe.
-
How old is the last person you kissed?
does my dog count?ok fine. erm. 19?
-
Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight?
he's the only person i talk to on the phone regularly!cos i'm not a phone person....
-
Why is your friendster song what it is?
-my friendster don't have a song. but if it did, it'd be...nobody's fool. cos i just like that attitude right now.

What woke you up this morning?
my mom.talking too loud. bleh.
-
Your current relationship status?
attached.100%. hehe.
-
What is your current mood?
tired.and hungry. but i geuss those aren't moods. my mood ah? contented i guess?
-
What color shirt are you wearing?
what shirt???? i don't wear shirts! dress! now. it's orange.
-
Are you crazy?
yeah.
-
What was the highlight of your week?
hmmm.highlight? everyday with friends =)
-
What are you listening to?
zi lian...

How long is your hair?
bra strap length.
-
Are you happy right now?
YES.
-
If you could have something right now, what would it be?
something that tastes as good as chocolate but zero calories.
-
What were you doing at 11:30 last night?
reading. i think.
-
What are you doing tonight?
gonna call my baby. then sleep.
-
What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
absofuckinglutely nothing.
-
Whats your biggest concern right now?
panda's prelims and o lvls.

whooo!

today was fun...hehehe.
supposed to meet zoee gal at like, 5 pm, but she smart smart go study dunno what thing....so i went to visit yttttttttt during that time. hehe. nice time catching up .... [stupid asshole who don't understand privacy. yt u can be porn star le!!! hehehe.] i swear if he calls her one more name.... i shud go castrate the bloody bastard.
anyyyway,
FINALLY met Z at cine...ate PASTA again. HEHEHHE. then talk talk talk.... yup, still as scarily alike as ever. just that im evil and she's good, hahaha. met dana thi and ansrong around there. threesome. heeheehee.... then started looking for desserrrrrt...and had udders icecream. YUP. heheheh. so bitter huh??? SAD. hehehehhehe.... hang out with you again soon luh=)super fun. muahahaa *evil grin*
so now i'm home...and i'm sleeeeepy.....gotta call my baby first...=)


xoxo ~~ loves.

hey.
no idea wat to blog now...
yesterday met duckie..=) was fun. super hyper... hahaha. played the dance revolution thingy.... then I BROKE MY RECORD. lol. ate two plates of pasta at pasta mania. hehehhehee, nice. then we had cam whoring and shit.

gay twin. LOL.

later going out ot meet zoeyy...hehe. miss that girl. been like ages since we last went out lo.

and tmr i've gotta pack my room...school books and stuff. hehehe. someones gonna help meeeee =))) miss you so much sweetie... haha.

anyway
better go study a bit first. stupid ACT test.
and on top of that gotta take a TOEFL on 3 of august. dammitttt....

xoxo~~

heh.
depressed.
i know there's like a million and one things i need to keep up with...
but...
i can't do it...
stuck in a rut.

nice feeling.
on a brighter note..
i got a lappy..
12 inch. so cuteee. haha.
whatevs.

just another stupid thing to remind me i've gotta leave soon.

ftw.

[[i love my darling ]]

OH WAIT.
i haven't finished writing...
cos after lunch and all, and meeting ansrong that blackie... darling n i went home.[my home] and then we went to do weird weird things that onli i can be dumb enough to think up. ahhah~
took lrt loop ride around sengkang... then mrt down to kovan. walk walk walk then ate japanese food at kobanyashi =D my dou fu!!! hahaaha..... still wanna chi dou fu somemore.then darling fed me cupped corn as we walked around the old stores outside. heee =D such a relaxing time we had.... ok. MOST OF THE TIME> ahhaha. when i stop being yang , i swear i'll take my time and slowly slowly killlll you. whahaha. anyway. it was niceee =) er ren shi jie.

kay.
today.
church.
nth much..
but saw my darling girl...
hilarious...
her knight in shinin armour had to rescue her beat up blue bag. whakakaka... *evil laughter*
et gotta accept that he made a huge fucking mistake when he called my mama a bitch. =)
which reminds me...of a certain someone...who actually called me a whore last time. heh. you know who you are, don't you? you bad bad bad person. hehehehe.

so anyway...ate cadbury communion in church =D so whaaat if the pastor sees. sometimes i'm past caring what people think. you can't please everybody.

sometimes pple's attitudes really really chizz me off so bad.[no i'm NOT talking about YOU jireh, and your kindly critique of my appearance this morning. haha. cute asshole.] i accept that i'm changed ever since like, three years ago, but heck. change is a part of LIFE. and it's part of ME. so what if i swear nowadays, so what if i go out and eat on saturday, so what if i've got a bf and we have PDA once in awhile, so what if sometimes i flip the middle finger, so what if i don't care to participate in most of the church activities. i'm still a person, and in case you didn't realize it, the SAME person, i was three years ago. maybe just smarter, and also maybe i won't let you walk over me as much as i did. but at least give the person that is unchanged inside me some consideration aight?!

jeez/ no idea where that came from. just practicing my writing i guess.

anyway.

i just realized something...
as you grow up...
you learn something called priorities, and what it means to let go.
i think that compared to when i was younger...i can let go of certain things more easily now. not that i like them less, just that i realize that logically it's gonna have a negative impact on the whole and just have to give it up. even things of sentimental value sometimes has to give way for the new. it's sad, but i won't cry or think about it too much...cos there's no other way around it.
but even after all is said and done...
i'm still gonna miss that big furry fat hamster that just got given away today. =)

i'm starting Operation Remove Hamsters now...cos i've got only about a month left till i leave..and even for nine months, i've no way of ensuring the safety of so many hamsters in my parents' hands. haha. so if any one wants cutecute hamsters and will give them sweet loving homes, then tag me. i've got 3 white balls of fur....and one grey and one brownish one. haha.


just looking thru some old conversations...[yep i keep MSN convos]
and found some interesting advice i got from a very good friend before...

''isnt it true that you were a bit shy or unsure if youre supposed to?
and yes, u need to be more sociable
take it in your own time.
you'll get there sooner or later
i know you are reasonably confident, but when it comes to talking or speaking , theres a lot of room for improvements''

''well, one thing, is that u gotta contribute during class
raise your hand and say something of substance
people will take you more seriously
=D i only want the best for you ok ?''

aight. i daresay i have become more confident and sociable , yes? haha. but i won't forget who is the shi fu who first told me what i needed to do.


and then i find these bits of ''wisdom''...which i've no idea if it's original or memorized from some lit text book..but anyhoo:

''well,its like a package. u get the good along with the bad,and if thats ok with you, then thats something solid there.'' [relationships]''


kays. bored now. going to slp. lateee! haha...
sweet dreams people!

-eh..i heard she's a good girlfriend leh...
-oh is that so? why?!
-cos she always sui chuan sui dao lo...
-oh!! like Fed Ex lah.... cheyy...


ok. cold. but i'm bored.
tmr....gonna go church...heh. first time after two wks.

boredboredboredbored. gonna log off now. =-='''

[[i don't want this to put a strain on our friendship in anyway aight? so let's just make it clear that even if i'm not his greatest fan, i'll still support you in whatever you decide... and y'know? it's just like you're not all that happy abt the one i chose either! haha... so yeah... i'm just going to be happy for you , k? ]]

yesterday had this ''date''.... damn fun. first time i left sengkang on my own in ages....!
went to marina square, ate at New York New York. love the soundtrack there! hehe. and the service was 5-star =)but i couldn't digest the food. stupid stomach.
talked alot...about...various stuffs. if i said anything discouraging girl, i do apologize.didn't realize....that.... hahahahhaha! anyway.... and i heard the funniest and scariest thing. omg. i'm just gonna pretend i never heard it kay? i'm still YOUNG for goodnessakes.i'm not like nicholas! hahahahhahahahahah.


then we went to buy missy's wallet. tsktsk... rich gal! but it's nice! hahaha.... Note: WALKING IS TIRING! bought pressies for my lil sis... cos it was her bday on 1st july but i still haven't seen her yet... then saw this bad that i relaly really wanted lah! it's a tote bag...and outside, it's written '' i left my prada bag at home''

hehee.... so nice!!!! but...gotta measure whether it'lll fit my future laptop or not...if it does i can buy it for a school bag. yayye. hehe.

then we went all the way down to tampines...and i CUT MY HAIR. Lol.... cut by this talented....GAY. hahahhaha. ewwww. damn gay lah. but who cares, he takes good care of my hair. ^^love that.... then there was this guy who seems to be in charge of washing hair... and jeez... his hands are so big compared to my head! hahaha.... random...

then ate prata, even though i was still so frighteningly FULL. hehehe.... but oh well. not bad. this stupid girl still owes me an ntuc date, banmian, and karaoke date lo. who knows when she's gonna fulfill it.....hehehe.... now that she's busy with..... AHEM. hehehehhe..... i don't care hor.... plse make some notes in your schedule... =)

anyway.
people i have to meet up with soon....
and by soon i mean reallie soon cos it's already july....

horse and bear.
duckiie!
chacha
rekha
jeereh
jassy
and if i forgot anyone i promised to meet up with....add ur name in the tagboard....
duckiie seems the most bored la huh...
so...
most likely tmr i'll meet him.
provided the powers that be have no objection. HAHAHA.