Love, Dawn♥

well well well. mr Yea has found my blog. hehehehe. let's hope no one else finds it. i gotta start using initials instead of names ! dangerous. hmphs.

well.
i woke up late for class today.
and well.
im not gonna get the lowest grade on my essay.
it's ok.

Liza woke up late today too.
and she had a test.
poor kid.

poor us.

room 1128 is a hellhole right now.

at least she has Sam to look forward to.
right now.
i have nothing.

smiles~

PS: yanting! i totally understand how you feel. =) but don't worry girl, the sun will shine thru...! in the end, i believe everything will work out de la. you told me before, trust in God to work it out for u. at that time, i told you, i dont' think He'd care. Girl, mayb you'll tell me the same thing now la, but i can tell you also, He does care. Mayb things seem really crappy right now, but don't lose confidence in Him, i know it's really hard cos im in the SAME position as you. where everything seems to be crappy and there's like no one u can rely on? but remember that im here for u and ur here for me!
well, the day tht we're not here for each other, we can just go and kill ourselves already cos there's nothing else to believe in besides God and life is so gonna suck.

anyway.

PSS: believe me i REALLY know how u feel. haha. life kinda kicks you in the ass once things are going well. i think it's called Murphy's law. =(

okay. so like, i wrote the essay. but it's horrible. and short. and uninnovative. but what do you expect from someone who has ony two chapters of beginner's italian under her belt!

and sometimes, it's so hard to trust in God, cos im human. and humans forget. =(

maybe i just need to get my period and i'll feel better. hahahha.

i have to...
write a descriptive italian essay
study twenty or more pages of history
and do two ''creative'' exercises.
and of course do my laundry. ahh man. i hate this...
well , actually i don't. i kind of like it. =)

well well. i better get my ass moving. when i've written my italian essay i'll prolly post it here for u guys to read. HAHHA.

time to start work!! =)

lovesss~!

PS: oh yeah and this mornign i already got up at 11 to go eat breakfast at CK's with da ge. LOL. i was super tired and my eyes were swollen and he kept laughing at me! wth. but it was a pretty good start to the last day of my weekend =)

this is the best pic ever luh, cos i managed to cut myself out of it. LOL. oh well...................and i got blue paint on my face!

the smoke from this thing, made the smoke detectors go off! and the program was delayed by like half an hour. HHAA. but can u see the guy on the top? he was like half nekkid and had warpaint on. whooo~!

the play was AWESOME. i cannot beginn to express, the amazingness of the LAC ..=)

and i was like looking at the disco balls hanging from the ceiling, and wishing, YANTING! i wanna do out Come On Me dance!! hahahahaha....

[something was here but got edited outt.....]
okay! so here goes my post proper.

i had been struggling with so many conflicting emotions in my heart, and i kept asking God for peace.

and suddenly i hear this 'voice' and it was like amused, and it told me ''just listen to the sermon , dawn!''
so i did.
and basically the sermon said that you must not ask for release from the crosses that you have to bear cos it's basically the penalty for your own mistakes. However, you need to address the underlying problem which is that you have to surrender yourself to God ...
well, i understood it to suit my situation as simply this: When you sort things out with God, He WILL sort your everything else out for you. All you have to do is put Him first so that He can have the power to help you.

it was .....an inspiring sermon and then they had the alter call and i started crying and i went up. and after that, there was this peace. even though i hadn't resolved anything with my people yet, i knew that it would all be okay cos God was in control now. I finally understood what YT and ET and SP meant when they told me i gotta let God take control.

and even though none of my friends went up with me, i went up. and that was a new experience for me, because it meant that it was 100% my own decision, and that i was capable of making these decisions with no support or anything. so like... yeah. i love God. He worked everything out for me SO beautifully.

so now i've got everything in the right perspective, and i hope it stays this way! =)

Thank you God~! =)

i freaking hate being manipulated.
and thank you Liza! for helping me put the pieces together.

im so sick of my own mood swings i don't wanna even blog about how i feel anymore.

let's just state facts.
i took a dieci minute nap, then went for convocation with liza and liz. it was fun. liza n i had our own lil private joke that entertained us for a pretty long time. LOL. that girl needs to loosen up more. so anyway. we were laughing about like, lil jalapenos and small mexican kids. HAHAHA. being racist and all. then we had this convocation where three people played an Opus, and a lady drew what she felt. it was pretty good! but my stomach was pretty unhappy. anyway.

later had refreshments, then went off to find fredrick to play pool. waited for him in the library, then we went to KR's to get supper before playing. met eli and jonathan arocho and two girls who i care not to know. met shanshan and her bf ... shanshan is adorable =))
so like later, we go play pool , and e n some other people come over to play air hockey and video games. blablabla. and i'm like doing really badly at pool. recardo joins us. and then fredrick HITS MY HAND WITH THE CUE BALL. and smashes it between two balls. oh man. freaking hurt so bad. so like later ricardo and fredrick played pingpong and i played pool wit eli. then later we played pingpong and they played video games. then we all played pingpong. and blablablabla....

it was a pretty BLAH time. then like later jonathan came back, and two other girls, and played pingpong wit him n eli. and i played pool wit fredrick! basically we're just wasting a lot of time that should be used for studying. it wasn't even that fun. AND i got whacked on the SAME HAND by the ping pong paddle. stupid fredrick. LOL....

then later eli and ricardo walked me back to the girls' dorm. awww. gentlemen. MY FOOT.

well. im not high. im not happy. it's weird.
im just really really low. and amazingly i'm focusing amazingly well on my amazing italian.
TEST TOMORROW.

non mi piacciono la matematica!
mio bambino ha gli occhi castani, bellissimo!

oooo this is cool. no one is gonna knwo what im saying! hahahaha.

whahahha.... i suoi gli occhi castani e bellissimo! mi piace. mi piacissimo!

whatever. im just so tired i dont' want to do anything at all.
thank God tomorrow is friday. but i feel like it's gonna be such a depressing weekend. i hope it won't be!!!

=(

just had convocation.
was TEXTING thru the whole thing..
sweet =)

i need to get a phone plan. im busting out too much cash on my phone bill...

so yeah. talkin to my parents about it. cos it's effing expensive here....
and they need a 400 bucks deposit...
still deciding...

but i really need it... =(
i love texting =) hehheeh.

so like, convocation was so effing long, there was a revolt, and like we all just stood up and walked out. sweet. so much for adventist kids.

so i'm gonna go for lunch, and ruminate on my speech, and then just bounce. to class. at three thirty. then i have to do my computer homework and blablablablablablabla study for italian test tmr!!!! OMG. not good!!!!!!

shiteshiteshiteshite...

[[baciare.]]

GYM WAS EFFING CLOSED FOR SOCCER AND FUTSAL. hias. went to walk around the track with michael and liz.....

=(

hmphs.but it was a good day overall.

i love my onni =)
and i really really want her to stay!
she's the only girl i can trust here.

and i believe in her more than i can belioeve in myself.

hmmm.....
there's this thing...
i gotta blog smth positive before i can go..
so here goes....

italian class today was hilarious.
met some talkative person today which was fun.
later goin for convo wit imo and onni
saw my lao shi today. LOL. funny.

and yep. im messaging again =)
it partly made my day and partly made it worse. but oh well. i'm gonna slp now.

it's productive.

i don't wanna miss a thing.
=)

and i miss you like hell too.
when life is so uncertain [sounds like im dying. im NOT.]
i really really miss how stable my social life was in SG luh.
coupla girlfriends. one boyfriend. and a heck lot of other loveable and dependable people.
over here.
it's starting from scratch all over again.

fun.

im just feeling weak today. im sorry you had to read all thit crappy shit.

oh well.
ITALIAN TEST FRI.
DEMO SPEECH TMR.
DAWN LOSING HER MIND TODAY.
LOL....

i have a feeling that there's something i'm supposed to know but no one's telling me.
it's a really weird feeling. and. well.
i guess i'll survive. HAHA.

SMILE.

even if it's fake.

[[can i have the rosetta stone? i need to decipher something called life.]]

no fucking mood to study.

just tired. tired all over again.

WHY.

mayb i'll go look for onnie...see what she's up to...

ok/ back from going to worship and running with the korean ladies. haha.
i managed to work out 25 mins. which is amazing cos i never do that unless i feel really fat, or im feeling depressed. hahaha.

it's definately the latter, cos i dun feel fat at all.
i feel weak that's all.
i think i need to slp early.

argh.

but i got italian and dunno what shit tmr. gosh. i miss the weekend, and it's only tuesday.

all i need is just one phone call away.

=(

i hate hate hate this.

whooO!!!!!
i'm like super pumped up now i DON'T KNOW WHY. hahahha. oh gosh. =)

so like..
i woke up at 7 am to have breakfast with this ass...
and then went back with my roommate to go and sleeeeeeep. yayys. hahaha. slept till ten, then woke up to her swearing. and i was like laughing in my mind cos we ALWAYS do that. it was my turn just a couple days ago.... LOL. then anyway... like she missed two classes today. sad.

anyway. i have a myspace account right now.. hehhee...part of my ''ddouble life'' ... =P and well , if you try hard enough you can find it. =) uninhibitedlife.

i just had my southern connections class, which is basically a class teaching you how to study for other classes. RETARDED I KNOW. then i have speech class at 330. and i gotta submit my rock climbing drop form, and also set up a conference with my professor. AHHHHH. crazy. walk about again.

well. i should get offline and start studying and doing my stuffs.
HAHAHAHA. im highhh. im effing high. and i don't know why. it's like i don't give a flying fuck about anything anymore. and that feeling is SO good. it builds my confidence and frees me from any shit i have been feeling.Thank you God! yayyy.....
cos He's the only one helping me right now..

[[because when everything is meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am.]]
DANA yayyy thanks for helping get this song =) xoxoxo~

well. today has been a studious day for me. i caught up on my sleep.
then went to the library.
yeah.
well....

tired. very very tired.
gonna slp soon again.
tmr i have no 8 am class!! can eat breakfast then go for my NOND class. YAYY.hhehehe. =)

i'm hoping tmr wil be a better day. i really am. this week seems to be sucking.

PLEASE MAKE MY DAY.
i need it.

[when everything's meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am.]]
anyone know what song those lyrics are from??? im tryin to find out ....

okay. i'm in the library now. printing out last minute stuffs for tomorrow.
thank goodness God helped me rememeber i had a conference tmr !
cos it's a BIG part of my grade.
HAHAHA.

gonna walk around a bit now..
but scared of those COUPLES. gosh.
they make out like EVERYWHERE and people walking alone are like, damn paiseh luh.
LOL...

im homesick.
nights =)

my favorite song now is VINDICATED. dashboard confessional.
go listen to it. it's amazing.
and my memory of listening to that is in a car at fulll blast while the wind blows in my hair.
another memory is listening to that on a friend's ipod at 10 mins to 1 am in front of wright hall. and then suddenlly seeing bugs on the floor. HAHAHA.

well. all that's said and done.

LOVE THAT SONG!

[i don't care what people think or people say. i swear im right. ]

[we're gonna be alright.]

you know, avril's song, you make me so hot, make me want to drop, it's so ridiculous, i can barely stop. hahaha.

i'm sad again.
and like, i have SO much italian homework to do.
i don't wanna do it. iw anna be outside under the stars!
went for a walk just now and saw SO MANY STARS. gosh. it's like....OMG.
and then someone told me that in Mexico you could see like twice the number of stars that there are here...and im like OH I WANNA GO NOW.. NOW. take me there NOW. ahhahahha.

but it's curfew. ah fuck.

and poor baby banged up his leg somehow, finally showed me today! poor thing! stupid bicycle...
i'll smack the bike when i come back ok? =)
and he dun wanna talk to me, busier than me now. hahaha. oh well...

went for a walk just now with a girl and two guys... pretty nice... but they started fighting so two of us extras had to get lost somewhere... went to the library for awhile, saw my darling onnii...

i just keep thinking, if YT were here, all the fun we could have. =( so sad... makes me emo...

oh! i have a MYSPACE account now. i'm fully americanized. HAHAHA. wait long long luh... anyway, i made it a few days ago.. and Eli took 45 mins to make me a template! awww..he's such a good friend... hehe.. he was like massaging all the girls today. and then he complained . but i think he enjoyed it rather. =P

i have to study. but i can't focus. i really really can't focus. i never had this problem before. i think i haven't studied for too long. AHhHhHh dammit. well... here goes! italiano homeworko mio comeo... =)

basically, to avoid more stupid rumours, i went to vespers with four guys. none of them being the guy that people are stupidly pairing me off with. ha bloody ha. anyway. i met andrey, ricardo, liu zhi, and joe... and we sat thru and incredibly boring vesper service in the gym. i played with anything i could get my hands on. namely.....:

resulting in me being so tired after vespers, i went straight to onnie's room and crashhhhed.

this was in the church, taken from the balcony, on thursday night convocation...

this is from Jonathan the Scary's hebrew bible. all theology majors HAVE TO LEARN TO BE FLUENT IN HEBREW. imagine that. never marry a pastor. you're gonna have to listen to him speak hebrew while you guys fuck. LOL.

hahahahahah.
can't believe i'm awake at this time..
guess what?

this assssssss....
frickin msged me ...
at 5 plus am, and kept me awake till now. GOSH.

and tmr i have sabbath school like...early. hiyo...

help lah!

i can't sleep.
which is stupid.

i need to focus.
and rid myself of negativity.

think positive.
breathe deep.
do deep thinking processes.

go to sleep.
now.

okay.
for real,
byeee.

i'm drying my hair..
and trying to think optimistically.

and it sucks so bad.
cos i can't..
life is like a roller coaster right now .
and i think the onli one who can understand me is LYT. =)
and my onnii.
my onni is really really kind and i just know i can trust her.
=)
thank God for that.

anyway.
we'll see how it goes tmr.
it'll either be really good, or really bad.
and i guess im just insecure.

somebody help me! preferably God.

okay. talk about mood swings.
now i'm just bloody irritated... haha.
nvm nvm...
it was hilarious...

hmm.... my laundry is drying, cos i realized i have no clothes lo. hahaha . gosh. anyway. i gotta go shower n wash my hair...
not good. hmmm. anyway.
whatevers.

i looked good tonight. =) hahahahahhaha.

it's true luh!
my dress was the one from hula . Co that i bought with mssy lee yanting, then i matched it with a gold headband, and black peeptoe wedges. and the make up, i actually took the trouble to remove it and reapply lo! wahhhhh. thank God it came out well =)

im jsut ignorin all my problems and thinking they'll ...

OH MY GOSHHHH.
THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

im happy! omg....

i'll be back later =)))))))

MUAHHHKKKSKSSSS!

just went to the mall with imo, liza, ally , and paul. we were supposed to meet a couple other people for a movie, and then we got lost, missed the exit, got stuck in an UNMOVING traffic jam, and ended up late so we didn't go for the movie, just shopped around in Hamilton Mall. damn. it's like, this whole section of the road was blocked off so that DICK CHENEY could pass through. seriously. why doesn't the dude just flly... anyway. we took pics, cos we were so bored, and we even did a ritual thing where we jump out of the car and run around it. SO funny and embarrassing. people were like smiling at us. HAHAHA. then later it started movin, went to Hamilton mall, and i bought a tank from pacsun, it's ADORABLE and hair bands from charlotte ruess. or smth like that. they're nice! im starting to pay more attention to my dressing le,.
well, i knew it was all a matter of time before habit catches up with me. HAHA.i guess...
my toenails are a sexy red right now... haha...coolnesss...

well.
went to the mall, had pasta...
which now makes me feel like i wanna puke, but oh well.
OH and i love the scent in the Abercrombie and Fitch store. hahahaha. sooo nice.... happy memories =)

kkays.
gotta get ready for vespers...
lotsa eye candy! girls and guys alike! hahaha.......
wish baby were here, then i'll get to see him in a shirt n tie every friday and saturday.
HOT.

i hate KR's place now.
everytime i go there, i get more news, it's like, the fucking gossip center of the school or smth. gosh people. grow up~!

it's college now, not high school!

damnnation carnation tarnation.
first time i went to KR's place, i talked to eli.
that's what started the problems i guess. or smth.
cos the next time i was in KR's, nadia told me stuff.
and today, chloe told me more stuffs.

who knows. next time i go back , people will be like, OH WOW DAWN'S GETTING MARRIED.

idiots. hahahaha.

but this whole thing is a battle that i will win in the end.

oh yeah baby. you can count on it. i don't care who thinks what. as long as i keep those people that matter happy and unhurt, that's all that matters.

i promise.
i'll do my best not to let you get hurt.

anyway. let's talk about the good things in my day..
had a speech, and got it over with! yay.
haha...
cos i played racing just before the speech at the Students' Center with L and E...
then went there, and LZ asked me to accompany him to the convocation, and i was like wth, but ok. better than going there alone ba. or going there and meeing SC. gosh.

so then i meet nadia, but that's not really good, cos i hear abt some gossips goin around.
and it kinda spoils my mood. it's weird how fast 'news' travels here. GOSH. no. i hate this.
this is gonna get to the wrong ears too soon, too fast. and it's stressing me out, which it shouldnt, i should be concentrating on my studies, not this kinda crap.

well. the weekend is coming up, i hope i can start catching up on my hw. But prolly will end up meeting up with E and imo and onni or smth... well, hope so i guess. pretty sad if u have nothing to do on the weekend.

[[i hate it when people are so nice to everyone. i really really do.]]

YA.
my heart is feeling passionate. passionately confused.
i don't know who to 'trust', and i feel like i DO need to trust someone right now.
im so vulnerable, even though i hate to admit it. and i have to say things that i don't really mean, in order to protect myself.

it's so hard to know if you really 'trust' someone....
and people here love to spread rumours.
and gossip.
i mean, we gossip among close friends, here, they gossip about anything and everyone to anything and everyone.

what the fucking hell is their problem.

yanting! i need to speak with you again asap leh...
the ppl here aren't helping me outttt.

hais.

sometimes i feel that sleeping is the only relief to all the stresses here.

I FUCKING HATE THIS.

you know.
mood swings? girl, i thought i was stabilizing. turns out im such a long way away from it.

i can't do this. i really can't.
i need to focus.
FUCK IT.

on a lighter note, played bball with imo, eli, ah zhi, joe, and jonathan... hahaha... nice ....
well, the guys played, we girls gave up after awhile.
eli and ah zhi were like tryna kill each other.
seriously. what's up with guys.

shit. tmr is friday. gotta see creepy sheepy again.

im gonna go look for onni and use her shoulder.

iimo's birthday is in nov! hahaha...

anyway....
no idea what to get imo...but im getting ideas =)

hmm. it's amazing what a good night's rest can do for you.
i realized i shouldn't go freeze outside today.
cos.
i gotta go class by eight. and the sun onli rises by seven. ok.

tmr.
ahahhaha.

because everything she does is beautiful, and everything she does is right....

i dunno why that line from the song keeps playing in my head.

well.
i should do a remix of that song...

haha. let's not be bitchy to random ppl. =)
i'm happy today after all.
right , yt?

somehow i'm happy. met imo and onnii and michael worororororo-something-or-other.....

and scraped through my comp class with NO second draft. gosh. close call. thank God man...haha.
then i met katherine, and OH SHIT i gotta go and get my powerpoint presentation down to Brock Hall before 3:30. dammmmit.
personal experience speech. it's not over yet. oh well. jia you dawnny...

and willie was like, telling me he's gonna be able to kill all the classes cos they sound easy from what i told him, and i'm like, THANKS HUH. here i am suffering and u gotta tell me how easy it is for you. hmphs. fineee. hahaha

me on The rock. it's so tiny right?? hehehe... i dunno how i managed to lie on it.

im going to wake up early tmr,
and go to the rock wall and freeze myself.
hahaha.
maybe that will bring me back to reality.

fuck it.
dawn! you need to study harder!!!
yanting i kinda need you here .

FUCK.

a bit happy a bit depressed leh.
don't know why..

[[cos everything she does is perfect, and everything she does is right.]]

i wanna go back to my little paradise.

sigh.

reality sucks.

HAHAHA. americans are so funny... =)
it was a great day..

i didn't get my cake [like i guessed]
and i didn't get the surprise he had in mind [which was dinner at a restaurant]
butttt..
it was great still!!!
had dinner with imo and onnii..
then austin drove us in his car. CRAZY DRIVER. gosh.
jose , esther, n i went first..
then Eli, jonathan and Tyler came later, haha.
then met up with esther's bf Josh after he finished work.

it was SO great to be in a mall again. can u imagine. i used to go a few times a week with YT in sg luh, and now it's like HOW hard to go to a mall. gosh.

so we were in abercrombie [i think] and the music was hottt. and by hot, i mean like, hottt. hhaha... n eli n jon were like dancing around and i found it so funny. hahaha. i mean, like REALLY FUNNY. cos they're both so tiny and like lil boys.

and i made eli buy a pink shirt! hahahah. oh man i'm good. then esther made jon buy pink capris. =D even better.

then we went for dinner, n mr eli treated imo n i to chinese food. in the food court. i felt bad la, but... well...if he wants to then just for this once lo. hahaha. =)

later went to walmart..
bought some stuff...like razors, contacts solution, anddddd somethign else which i have forgotten but will remember shortly.OH I REMEMBER... tic tacs for eli cos he didn't go with us n he asked for it. hahaha.

then we went back to the dorm, and went for a walk...
met ashley and nadia. whooo!

it was a really really beautiful day. i love the night time here now, the air is so crisp and cool...

beauty.
pure natural beauty.
and no fear.
peace.
serenity.
oh gosh im getting poetic i'e gotta finish that another day tho cos im tired n it's LATE. nights ppl!

loves =)

PS: i love my boyfriend.

PSS: i love my girlfriend too.

PSSS:i love you.

had a panic attack this morning.
started shaking and hands turned cold and it was just not good ba.
don't know why.
it's something i seldom experienced before coming here, and when i first came here i'd be like that every night. and i thought it finally went away, but it came back again today.
i guess it's cos my stupid speech that i haven't finalized yet.
i'm gonna work on that then take a nap.

hope that will stabilize my shot nerves.

and i realized you can't really expect anyone to always be there for u. especially when they're a million miles away.

doesn't that suck?
esp when you ask them for help and they don't realize how much you actually need it.

all i was asking for was words of assurance frm u.cos ur the most impt person in my life. and i guess i m expecting too much.

it's okay.
i've got to learn how to grow up anyway.

my roommate's ex called me suddenly today.. n i was like, wth??
then we talk abt stuff n it's like he's high on....smth. and then we start talkin abt him n my roommate..
and like, he's so emo..then im doin counselling again...
bla bla bla..

and in the end he's gonna give me a surprise for my bday tmr! hmm. i wonder what it will be. hahaha...

so anyway. i'm tired.
going to bed ASAP.
sweet dreams people! =)

wan an!

smile.
what are you waiting for?
it's ok to smile!
i know you had a bad day..
but smile for me.
smile for the world to see.
you'll be okay.
smile.

random. okay, went to get lunch with chloe...
then had lunch...
and now i gotta do errands for the rest of the day.
1st-go print essay.
2nd-meet nadia for lunch.
3rd-go find serena santona for international stuffs.
4th-write speech.
5th-go running with chloe.
6th-prolly go for worship at 10pm.

gosh. busy.
mayb i wont' go running. my foot has spider bites. it sucks so bad! it's like bleeding and all kinds of shit luh. dunno what to do with it. no medicine no bandage and doctor fucking expensive. gosh. can't stand. okay.
just help me pray for it can le. cos i tell u, it's damn irritating daooo!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tS4MCWOmyfw&feature=related

this link is for yanting and yanting alone. other people can go see but you won't appreciate it as much luh. only she will appreciate. girl, i hope it'll bring a smile to your face! =)

YANTING PLEASE FOLLOW THE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS....

INSTRUCTIONS: press the link. and close your eyes. dun open your eyes until you start laughing. in order to laugh harder, think of my face while you're listening. =)

okay. this is now a post. i found someone who knows how to break-dance. i'm thinking of asking him to teach me later....
break dancing is not as nice as hiphop ba...but mayb there are some parts that are nice? dunno... but gotta find a place to learn first i guess.... mayb the gym? dunno. anyway. im pretty tired now. finished one essay, wrote outline for speech. and finished the computer test 1. i wanna go to take a nap now, then wake up at two to talk to my boy. before he gets angry at me again. =_='''

i think it's a waste of time being pissed.
im just not gonna care alrdy.
i have more impt things to worry abt like my fucking GRADES.

anyway, ytd iimo dragged me out to the gym, watched ppl play bball. and im like the fraeking lamp luh, she n her bf so swtttt.
after that they say wanna watch Forbidden Kingdom in the guys' dorm. then again i kena dragged along. i was supposed to be studying luh! but i guess it was fun....
then iimo went out with her bf to make out, iiidiot, leave me alone.

iimo: next time i dye your hair im gonna get revengeeee =D

today. im just gonna study.study study study. yup.
gotta write one paper. one speech. read 4 chapters, and do history review. anddddd mayb take an online test.

ok ,whatever. i'm going to shower.

I'M SO FUCKING FAR AWAY AND YOU WANNA FIGHT WITH ME??
I KNOW I DID WRONG OKAY. I KNOW I DIDN'T COME ONLINE AND TALK TO YOU FOR TWO DAYS. I KNOW THAT. BUT I ALSO KNOW THAT I EXPLAINED TO YOU EACH AND EVERYTIME WHY I COULDN'T MAKE IT! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD COME UP! I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN AND WHERE I HAVE TO GO! AND I'M JUST FUCKING TIRED IN THE MORNING TO GET UP! JUST LET ME REST , YES? IT WAS ONLI TWO DAYS! I'LL DO MY FUCKING BEST NOT TO DO IT AGAIN!
BUT NO. IT'S TWO IN THE MORNING AND YOU HAVE TO FUCKING IGNORE ME.
I SIT LIKE A MORON , WATCHING YOU REPLY WHATEVER SMS YOU HAVE, AND WAIT FOR YOU TO STOP BEING MAD. THEN I CONTINUE SITTING LIKE AN EVEN BIGGER MORON, AND YOU STARE AT THE SCREEN FOR 5 MINS. YOU DON'T EVEN REPLY ME.
THANKS.

THANKS. I REALLY LOVE THIS.
YOU CAN FIND WAYS TO FUCKING IGNORE ME EVEN WHEN IM HALF THE WORLD AWAY.

YOU ASKED ME HOW I WOULD FEEL IF IT WERE ME?
WELL, I'LL BE PISSED. BUT IF YOU'D SAID SORRY, I'D HAVE JUST MADE MYSELF GET OVER IT COS I'LL ACTUALLY REALIZE, THAT IT'S STUPID TO FIGHT WHEN YOU'RE HALF A WORLD AWAY!!!

GOSH.

fucking grow up okay?
im tired.
i'm failing classes.
im doing my fucking best to survive in this weird place.
i'm trying to keep my hw tgh, and keep my sanity, and keep my meals regular, and just LIVE okay??
im TIRED. and i won't be bothered to try and pacify you.
it's two fucking am for goodness sake.
if you want me to pacify you,

choose a better time.

PS: and im fucking hungry, the people here are like, they don't open food store on saturday and i freaking starve except for lunch.
DAMMIT.

my roommate's gonna get pissed....
i think.

whatever.

oh btw. miss yanting please check your email!

oh gosh.

today went to the korean church.

niceeeee.....

like, sam liza greg n paul went...

others went also, but i din know them...

met Joe... this guy from a party school. and they're talking with sarah abt how she got drunk and all the stupid things and it was hilarious,

but i THINK S is a bitch. like, the half good half bad kind i think. like, if ur her friend she won't screw you over but if you're not she dun give a damn kinda bitch. nicee.

food was nice, slept thru half of the sermon, so was energized.

heehee.

the pastor was like damn energetic the whole way luh, esp the ending, keep shouting...

im really sorry darling, i just didn't have time to go online ! cos , ytd had vespers den my imo dun wanna go back to the dorm so we went to hang out at the guys dorm then we came back late and someone slept over and we watched movies and i couldn't go online!

im sorry!! i'm online now though! hope you come online soon..cos i think mayb tonight i have to go out again... ahhhh. baby. please get online soon oh! i miss you!

eeeenteresting.
i'm tired.
but i was really high today,

interesting...
hahaha.
very interesting.................

you know why? i failed my history test.
zero out of five.
congratulate me.
bye..

let me reiterate.
MY ASS IS GONNA BE NICE WHEN I GET BACK.
COS I KEEP WALKING LIKE A CRAZY LUNATIC.
just got back from miller hall and now gotta walk back all the way to brock hall for history.
nice.
if i don't get toned, nothing will make me toned.
ok.

italian esame was goooood. i think. no one ever knows.
like i thought my last ENGL quiz was good..and i got fucking F for it. gosh. nothing to say,

and yes. i think i reallly really am gonna drop my rock climbing class.

that's all for now!

i'm off cheese, cos it's indigestible, so i try to eat as little as possible. then i'm studying like crazy. or TRYING to study like crazy. then i'm sleeping late and getting up early, but then take short naps throughout the day. then i'm homesick, even though i'm getting busier, and busier. but i'm trying my best not to think about it, and just tell myself that i'm getting my ass back as soon as i pass my exams, and so i better study harder.

and stuff here is getting really busy, btwn bball and studying and chatting online with baby and friends...not to mention the TIME SPENT WALKING. gosh. i'm walking my life away. my ass is gonna get so hard luh. HAHAH

ahhhh! our crazy photo shoot!!

YT! we gotta try that sometime. whahaha...
but i doubt we will waste our time in such wu liao stuffs luh...
there ya go, first close up of my cute and hyper roommate. u know who i realized she reminds me of?
devinna.
seriously =D
marvelous huh!
i mean, even looks , prettier than dev, but about the same also leh.
full lips, thick hair, cheeks.... somehow looks a bit like her. A BIT. she's prettier by alot luh. hahaha
she'd better be.
im staying with her for the next dunno how many months. HAHA.
enjoy the pix...there's more coming.

oh gosh.
yesterday was hilarious.
i met this guy while i was waiting for my food at CK's..
and he just came up to me and asked me if i was feeling better. and i was like, HUH??
do i know you??
and he's like, well, not really...but i saw u sleeping in class today.
n i was like.......ooookayyy. and he said he met me at vespers, and i was like, you DID????
n he was like, YESSS!!!

gosh. then when i went back to my dorm, i suddenly realized he was the guy i sat next to in the dark for vespers, tat's y i din recognize his face. =P

so anyway. he's a nice guy....he's MICO'S brother. hahahaha.
jose....jose ramos. nahh. not really.just same name.

anyway.saw tyler at convocations...
and slept thru part of the convocations.
however, still gotta write a reaction paper on it. so. die liao lo.

haha. nvm. bullshit my way thru can le.

nights!

http://toonlet.com/creator/dawnny i add new comics everyday!

ok. advertisement done..
now...

im gonna slp. had a tiring day. played bball with my korean onniies and one other girl and paul, john, and michael. andddd a jerk. which is the one i immortalized in my comic strip that was made today.

whenever i go to the gym, it's like this inner demon comes out or smth...i totally lose my cool over stuff like people throwing balls at us, or pushing metal chairs against us, or throwing cold water on us. by Us i mean the korean girls and i.

i swear, so many of these guys are total jerks.
but there are nice ones..
like, this guy tried to teach me how to shoot properly..
but when he imitated the way i shoot, OH GOSH he looked so GAYY.
and that was after i accidentally punched him in the calf with my kneecap while we were playing for the ball.
oooops. this is why i cannot play seriously, cos i keep injuring ppl.

anyway. i gotta go slp, tmr early class. dammit.but i can slp in the afternoon ba, so still ok. ahhaha...

aight.
nights!

fuck.
i wanted to quit rock climbing,
but somehow can't bring myself to do so.
then now i have a feeling i'm not gonna pass italian,
but i'm still holding on.

im gonna die le la.
ITALIAN TEST ON FRIDAY LEH!
die die die die die.....
il compleanno: il sedici settembre!
l'autumnno.

i wanna go shower.
and i haven finish my laundry. fuck.

como ti chiami?
mi chiamo , dawn..
sono dalla singapore...
e di telefono numero , quattro due tre, due sei zero, tre tre tre uno.
.....
andddd, that is all that i remember....
SHIT.
exam on friday somemore. i think tmr and thursday gotta do hardcore mugging le....
dunno whose bright idea to learn italian....

my roommate is like the best la, keep finding stupid little websites to make me distracted...
cannot study...
hahaha
she told me that photobucket can edit pix de, can't believe i didn't knwo that la! so retarded..
and then she intro me to the comic website de... =_=..
go to TOONLET.COM and search under DAWNNY, then u can see all my strips...
some days ill make alot, some days i wont make at all...
prolly these few days no time ba, unlesss it's to bitch about stuff that happened....
HAHA...

i swear, there's this goodygoody girl in my fricking group for College Comp 101, and she's SO annoying. seriously. arrrghhh.... but i must wait. now is not the time to bitch yet i guess....
cos i have three stages when i go to a new place...

First, is just sit back and accept everything, while trying to learn the social ropes and stuff.and i'm just nice to everyone.
Second, i start getting into the ''social scene'' and being more outgoing...but carefully.
Third, i get really sociable and bitchy and start deciding who i like and who i don't like. and showing it. AHHAH.

ooopsies. now u know my secret... oh well...
sometimes i make the three stages really fast, sometimes really slow.
and now...
about whaaaat i've been doing the past few days...

basically just classes and classes
in History class, even tho the professor sucks, i'm sitting btwn two guys, and they're smarter than me, so i can just let them do all the work when it's group time! ahahaha...
at last, something i'm more used to!

then ytd played basketball with chris, ....another black guy...and john...and gail and ESTHER. hehe. esther is my new workout partner. SUPPOSEDLY. and she's korean leh. amazing. i keep making korean friends. hahaha. ironic isn't it.

basketball was SO hilarious, i was on the two guy team, and esther gail n john were on the other team.and they were like, blacks, so they're SO good at playing basketball, it was like they used me as the HANDICAP so they could challenge themselves. hahaha,...
they are SO much nicer than Paul, at least they din make me feel so bad about screwing up shots, AHAHAHAH, cos they were like,'' it's onli a game, you did good!''
and so i felt , awwwww...so kindddddd...AHHAAH. so yeah, it was really fun..
esther and i were like handicaps luh, the guys really din know what to do, kept laughing at us. ahhaha.

but whatever.
i can tell the white guys apart now,
i gotta start trying to tell the black guys apart.

for the girls ah, i can do it le! sometimes still get mixed up but not often. =)

anyway. liek that lo. the food here is fucking giving me diarrhea, and cramps, all the time. i feel like my hamsters when i change their diet luh!

to yanting:

girl i really miss you too okay! you have noooo idea how much.

and and and i suggest you do the shorter countdown to my birthday hor!! u know? it's onli like, one more week??? hahahh!

the other longer countdown is like, septembre octobre novembre dicembre...... so yeah. a bit the longer leh!

dicembre ottodici i'm coming back.
either that or novadici.
maybe even TRENTI. wth.
go figure. i just typed ITALIANO.

i'll be making more comics when i have the time...
one for everyone...
right now, i'm sleepy. SUPER sleepy.
actually, maybe not.
maybe i just don't want to study. HAHAH.

FUCK i have more italian h/w to do!

SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKING TAKE ME BY THE HAND AND TAKE ME BACK HOMEEEEEE.

i'm SO sick and tired of this place basically i don't give a fucking shit if i don't get the education i want to get cos i think i'm just gonna fucking fail anyway and i'm GOING CRAZY HERE OKAY.

so fuck this shit.

i'm on the very very very verge of giving up.

WOW.
something horrible happened.
i didn't slp this afternoon!
ended up i went CAVING.
u know what that is?
it means fucking getting ur ass into a cave, and running around in the muddy murky depths with NO guide or anything.

OH GOSH.and let me DECRIBE the whole fucking experience to you so you can understand the supreme FUN of the whole thing. HAHAHA.

first, we wait for approx two hours for our turn, and there's mosquitoes, and all manner of bugs. and THEN. i swear, we get muddy helmets, and get into this two by two square in the rock wall, and then THAT'S it, you're fully in the cave. and the temperature DROPS straight away.

walk about 5 or 8 metres, and WHAM you start slipping and sliding cos the floor is muddy. and there's clay, so it's SLIPPERY to the max. and it's UNEVEN. so if u slip, n fall, ur gonna sprain ur ankle luh. so i'm like picking my way accross this stupid thing, and then it gets WORSE.

the floor starts going UPWARDS. until the floor n ceiling is only like, less than one metre of space btwn them and you have to use ur arms to crawl forward. GOSH. it's like my elbows got scraped raw can. then there were huge holes in the ground that you have to navigate around.

the worst was this triangle shaped space, where the water was SO deep at one end, you had to crawl against the almost vertical rock to get across. there was this rope to help you, but my hands were so fucking cold i couldn't hold on to it.
in the end i had to use my whole body as a wedge and like slowly inchh across that area. gosh.

we got out after about an hour, and by that time, HAHAHA ,,,,looked like we had a spa of cow shit luh! gosh.
then we had to go to a freaking CREEK and wash the helmets....a CREEK. albeit a very bad excuse of a creek.

and im so extremely tired now, got back from asian club, which was a flop, for me, cos i was tired and unsociable, and no one was there that i felt the compulsion to speak with, so i left early.
which was a shame cos my outfit was nice, n so was my makeup. HAHAH. now i gotta take it alll off again.
i thought that if i took the trouble to dress up i might feel more SOCIABLE. end up, im totally not.

met greggy, and he tagged me back to the dorm again. blah.
and kelvin[kevin?] had to talk to paul, but neither of us were very interested in the conversation.....and onnii left early, so did AhZhi.... so i was completely and irrevocably boreded out to the max man!

nvm. now im back. wanna wash my muddy clothes,take off my makeup n contacts, and try to slp, unless baby gets his ass online first and makes my dayyy =)

which i doubt he will cos it's sunday morning and he's gonna slp in. =_='''
oh well.

cheerios

okay.
i'm blogging now in the middle of the day just because i think tonight i'll have to study history, so yeah.

just got back from the Korean church. NICE. gosh. it was NICE> but i was so sleepy, i slept thru part of the SS and the service...hehehe. the preaching is so much better than that PR. FOOK we have in SG luh...

and OH GOSH. the lunch!
korean food leh!
and it's niceeeee....

surprisingly the koreans here are all very CULTURED de lo, not like those in our school last time leh, yt. HAHAH....

anyway.i just realized my bday is in ten days luh. haha. how sweet is that.
and i'm gonna spend it with.....
some people i really don't care to spend it with.
ehs.
i go slp now before i get emo again. hahaha.

swt swt dreams people!
i gotta get my sorry ass up at 6 again cos of the Asian Club meeting =_='''

i'm tired,and some people's attitude really gets me down.

better surround myself with better personalities i guess.
DAMN,

nights.

i seriously need to get rid of these mood swings,
because it's showing on my blog
and i think some of you are going to start cursing me really soon.

well, just think of it this way,
my blog is a written reality show, and the main star is an extremely emotinal teenager =P

like, i was really emo, then i slept, then when i got up i was still kinda pissed. not to mention some people messed up the whole room trying to find an outfit to wear. =_='''
i have nothign to say.
was late to vespers, and they didn't fucking let you sign in, so that means i lost a vesper credit.

but i got to vespers, sat next to some very nice people. and hey! the guy was as cynical as i am! hahahah. no idea who he is though.
and then i met Daphne...
and WOW the service, they had a live band, and the people singing had such SEXAYE voices!!!
seriously. like, jesse mcartney. but the looks can reallly make it la huh.

after vespers, there was this expo thing, in the middle of the FIELD. and all the girls were wearing HEELS. and it was hilarious. then there was cookies and drinks...
yumm.

and then i met lotsa happy people i know and they transferred the happiness to me i guess =)

eva greg michal chloe zhi and some i forgot the names of? hehehe. i need to start meeting new people. hehehe.... and... then i met my onnii! so we went back to the dorm, and tmr im going to the KOREAN church with her. omg. yt!can you believe that??? like, wth....

but she's really soooo nice.,and sweet and all. hahaha.
happy about tmr . =)

yay..
thank God la ~

xoxxoxoox ....

OH YEAHH IM SO HAPPY!
my TOEFL scores are outttt!!!!!!!!

116 out of 120 !!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

yay ayayayayayayyayayayayayayayayay

whatever.. it's english as a second language so i guess im expected to do well la, but OMG YAY. im happy enough can! hahaha....

the WRITING was 30/30
LISTENING 29/30
READING 30/30
SPEAKING 27/30

hahahhahahahh...
now i gotta wait for my ACT scores.
if ACT is good, im gonna be even happier.

yeah. thats cos im failing all my other quizzes in school rite now. HAHA.
not funny.

oh gosh

i just remembered the time we went K just before i left, that double date, and i remember the stupid guys singing/shouting Shin's songs? oh man.
emoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemoemo

promise me we can do that again when i come back in dec!!!

and everytime i watch xinyuetuan MVs, i missssssss my boyfriend like crazy.
wanna cry can!
i miss being hugged by him luh.and i miss indulging cannibalistic fantasies by chewing on his shoulders.
i miss sleeping next to him in that [stinky] room...sry darling but it's true i hate smoke ok. and i miss fighting with him.and nagging him. [ok mayb not nagging him] but i really really miss all the thigns we did tgh!

then everytime i look at my pix where i was camwhoring with yanting.or hear songs we used to sing tgh....
i wanna cry again.
cos i remember all the crazy and bitchy times we had.the shopping! the talking! the eating! the double dates that i learned to like.
it's reallly something to find someone who you can be SO comfortable with, and like spend so much time with them and still not be bored, and know that you both have the same kinda interests.
damn.

andd TATCHA. everytime i read ur letter i feel da tears coming cos im so touched and i feel like i could say all the same things back to you and mean every single word too!

then i miss sha's smile and bouncyness, =))))
jireh's assyness and grandfatherly advice, even his mean comments. HAHAHA. cos i knwo he still loves me =PpP

, jassy's angry episodes and our pastamania and even dragging u shopping with me. HAHAHA.
and even cash's unique attitude. heheh. n hongqi's Noise. and basically almost everyone luh.

not to forget my duck duck also.... hehehe....
miss the crazy times we had!
esp the COFFEE and SUGAR thingy. hahahahhaa.

ahhhhhrrrghhhhh!

people!!!!
im still not forgetting you!

but im having fun here too. well, kinda fun. it's interesting to stay with someone your age, everyday, everynight. haha.

today we went crazy, tryin on clothes tgh and all. it was hilarious. and i also realized, i dun have enough clothes!!! and that sucks, cos i dun have my shopping partner here. and of course the escalating exchange rate. can't wait to shop in dec man!

k la. gotta finish my hw then slp le. tired. haha.
tmr two classes nia! and a long long break btwn them! can catch up on stuff.

okay.i'm starting to see a pattern.

like all the asian girls,usually get a jock boyfriend.like, buff, outgoing, popular, that kinda scene.
and i'm like...wtf?

some are really sweet, but some are just jerks...

and it's really funny, one of the first questions a girl asked me was like, ''do u have a boyfriend??'' and i'm like, ''yeah, back in sg.''then she said ''oh kay, i thought we could like hook you up or smth. ''
me , ''uhhhh....?''

it's funny. they all get attached during smart start, which is like, one month ago. that's how fast they go.. hahaha. damn. it's kinda.........scary. hahaha.

anyway. was at the gym just now...intramurals going on. hell it was so fun! it's like, i was shooting hoops, and i was FINE until we started the game, and omigosh after that i couldn't shoot a single hoop. hahaha. so ps.oh well.

and get this, i was wearing a fucking dress to play! damnn.
im seriously getting sick of the guai ness of ppl here. reallie. realli realli sick of it.
like wtf people. get a fucking life.or mayb their life is just too happy they don't have the angst required to be 'bad'...watevs...

the first exercise mainly involved a group of us basically getting squeeeezed together on tiny platforms, the second one was bad. like we had to climb up this sheer wall. OMG. i nvr thought i'd have to do that in my whole entire life luh. actually i didn't also. haha. i stood on this guys hands, and then one guy n one girl pulled me up. ehehe. i totally didn't help in anyway at all la, cos as i was hanging there, i started laughin... no idea whyy...but i laughed SO hard. and screamed somemore. =_='''

but that wasn't so bad compared to the stupid twenty plus foot tall pole we had to STAND on top of. oh gosh. first we had to climb a ladder then climb the pole then stand up straight on the top of the pole. OMIGOSH. i din wanna do it, but like no choice luh. and the pole is like shaking can. so anyway. i reached the top, then i wanna come down le, then they say must stand up. then i was like, WTF luh. anyway ,managed to stand up. whooo! n i like am surrounded by green green trees, cos the course is in the forest. so like, you're supposed to JUMP off the top of the pole

and omigosh, when i jumped, i fucking screammmmmed SO loud, everyone started laughing like shit. n i was laughing also luh. cos i knew i must have looked retarded swinging around twenty feet up and covering my face with my hands. gosh.

when i landed, the intructor was like ''when i heard you scream i thought something really bad was happening! '' hahaha...

anyway. what else what else..... oh. starting to take pic of my campus. it's really really beautiful luh. now i understand what a private school means. exclusivity and luxe-ness. defin not like ivy league, but defin better than what i could have if i studied in sg ba. hahaha. but the people. gosh. im still really really lost here.

it's like, they like pure blooded americans, and pure blooded asians that can't speak english well. for me, i'm like a half breed, n they are dammm formal to me luh. most of them anyway. Greg is realli nice. haha. n tyler always smiles. but damnnn it's still lonely luh.