Love, Dawn♥

i lie awake at night.
see things in black and white.
i wish i cud change my blog address again so i can express myself without being afraid.
but then again.
thats weakness.
either way,
i'm weak.
that's what i have to say tonight.
i'm breaking inside.
it's that audible, tangible cracking feeling that starts in your head and then runs down your spine till it spears inwards and hits your heart.
i never cry though.
only when i'm drunk i cry.
or when my mom pisses me off enough.
and the frustration all boils over.
or when someone slaps me in d face.
but other than that....
i can't seem to cry as easily anymore.
i need to leave.
i need to leave all these places and memories as soon as possible.
i thought it woulld be hard, but not this hard.

there's no more place i can be happy..
here i'm tortured by fucking memories.
there i live on the edge slowly going insane because i can never let my guard down. well. i used to be able to let my guard down with someone...but... it's stupid to ever do that.

i do so many stupid things that people cannot accept. i don't understand why. well. some do. and i raelly appreciate it. and it's the most unexpected ones that accept it. girl, i read ur lil card, and u have no idea how much it helped me. cos u have no idea, how much it means to me, that you will always love me no matter how i change. i'll always love u too! <3>
also one other person... you should hate me for what i've done to ur friend i guess, but u don't. and that means alot to me. for the rest of my close friends, i'm not really sure, but i hope that they do still love me the same. and to those who can't accept me the way i am, i'm sorry i let you down, but that's just the way it is. im not 100% happy with the way things are in my life, and if i had stayed here , i'd prolly not have changed, i prolly wud not have wanted to change. i'm so much more comfortable here. but the fact remains im going to spend the majorityy of the next 4 years there. and i will change. so it's just how u gon deal with that change.

i have to be honest.
i ihate that the things i did/do cost me people.
well.
person.
right now i do have one regret.
in time i prolly would not regret it..
but now i do.
for now.
just for now.
i'll allow myself one regret.
just so tired of pretending not to care. of pretending to be heartless.
or shud it be trying to pretend to be heartless?
i think i have succeeded, so many people ask me if i'm sad at all.
well the answer is simply yes.
no one has any damn idea how i feel.

so yeah. i do regret one thing now in my life. and if i had the chance, i wud replay that nite in my life. because coming back here is like coming back to earth. it made me realize what was impt in my life. and it's not the crazy things i do. it's what i had.. here.. even tho i admit it was tiring and even boring to me at times... it still brought contentment and satisfaction.

anyway,.
i think that's enough moaning and complaining. i've let off some pressure so prolly i'll feel better now? i dont' know... yuppp...

==================================================================

WHAT I HAVE BEEEEEEN DOIN!

let's see where i left off! well! christmas was uneventful, had a goood long rest in my couscous's house... then on fri... i met up wit jeereh in d morn! we had fun! well i had fun, i think he had fun too! getting four month's worth of pokin! ur the best bro ever ok. i mean it. lol... after that i met my daddykins... and went to the library.. then went back for dinner with momsy!

saturday, church, lunch with a whole bunch of ex teachers and et and dana,,,,, omg... and i saw my ex n my older bro n their friend! i was like, omg! i was jus thinking that i wanted to see him before i leave n i saw him! hahah... sweet. lookin good, guys! anyway, then went for icecream, then chillin at my mom's friend's house.

sunday, hunted for a damn dentist to give me a checkup but they were all boooked full up. then had to go for lunch, and met sha n jeereh for donutsssss =) yums! yeahhhhh it's good, so after that, sent sha to her appt, and OMG, saw the HOTTEST damn malay dude EVER. lmao. and his dancin is so frickin awesome. yeah. im so takin up dance in the summer! after that, rushed back to novena, picked up by gramps and parents, then went to macpherson to eat. deeeeelish! when i ate dinner tho, my lunch was still in my stomach. lol... yup. how frightening rihgt? anyway.

monday, which is today... mornin met my darling LYT for lunch... HAHAHAH.... i cut my hair while waitin for her! so now it's layered n my bangs are slanted, n layered too. easier to manage... should last nother 4 mths till i can come back n go to KASON to cut it! yay! hehehe...
anyway... after that, met up iwth my uncle and my darling chacha!! man...it's so awesome meetin ur two best friends in one day! three of us went to bugis to pick up bags for ash n C, then went to orchard, grabbed a heineken each, and then went to play pool! haha! i was like, sayin that the taste of heineken reminded me of Aircon... lmao.. and then i got a msg telin me he's back in town~! damn! wanted to see him... but alamakkkk he's not cute anymore , heard he got fat. hmphs. oh well... so after pool in which my dad joined us halfway, we went to dinner at WARAKU. again. lmao... so damn FULL. and now my stomach wants to die. i swear. i SWEAR . im gonna diet when i go back to southern. i HAVE TO. omg. i feel frickin obese after coming back here... yuppp. so there. dawn is gonna lose weight. damn straight she is! haha!

goodnight people!

PS: and no, jus to prove a point, i dun feel any better at all, but i sure sound like it huh! well. jus to prove my point that i hide shit. =)

cheers.

RULE 1: You opened this; you GOTTA take it

RULE 2: You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHINGunless someone messages you and asks

LAST PERSON YOU

1] hung out with?chey. pan. and a whole bunch of ppl i won't bother namin.

2] texted?my dad n ET simulatneously.

3] were in a car with?mom.mom's friend. mom's friend's husband. mom's friend's daughter who is my friend really. stinky chi huahua.

4] Went to the movies with? dreydrey and nads!

5] talked on the phone with? my mom...

6] messaged on MySpace?prllyy ashh

7] kissed? mouth =SP cheek=my mom n dad.

T/F Only answer with True or False!

Q: Like someone?true

Q: kissed someone on your top friends? falseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee unless u mean cheek.

Q: been searched?false

Q: Been suspended from school?FALSE LAH! hiyo.

Q: Sat on a roof top?true.

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?false.. i wish tho.. lmao

Q: Have shaved your head?false false false

WOULD YOU RATHER

1] Eat or drink? i wanna mum-mum

2] Be serious or be funny? funny.

3] Drink whole milk or skimmed milk? skimmed milky

4] Die in a fire or die getting shot? shot idk what dumb ass wanna die in a fire.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

1 Sun or Moon? moony moon moon.

2 Winter or fall? autumn. i dun wanna fall. tyvm.

3 Do you wanna get married? i think so.

IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU

Been hugged by someone?yeah u know those tentative lil hugs... lmao. i can't wait to hug mai roomie n 'creepy' ash n nads again.. hehehe

Hung out with someone on your top friends [myspace]? nope dey all in d states.

Yelled at someone? i lost my voice..n jus barely got it back..so obviously..no.. =_+

Kissed someone? lips? no. cheek? yes.

Repost this as:w h o - w a s - y o u r - l a s t

merry christmas peeps!
christmas eve was a good one for me...!

met up my darlin duckers.... and SHOPPED so much... ahhhhh joy. dress after dress. i got like,... three dresses and two tops for two lucky dudes! lol... hope they'll like em.... one is this totally adorable shirt and one is totally funkaye... haha,... anyway... had a great time wit him..
then later
rushed back home to dump off all my loot, then changed, cos the weather is so damn freakin humid i was all wet... and went off to clarke quay to meet my girly! can't believe this is onli like the second time i'm seein her since i came back luh! met her at Central, then we went to waraku to eateateat.. damn quiet dinner cos i was whisperin the whole time! hshaha... then later went to walk along d river..somewhere there, i got my voice back,. but it was like, super low. lmao.. took tons of pics! then bought devil horns and light sticks. yayyyyyys. sat along the wet river side and made all sorts of weird loops around our bodies. man..it's been a long time since i had this much fun without getting wasted. im serious. =) so later we went to starbucks cos i was really feeling soggy in the humid weather....lol. darlin bought me some ice blended thing. deeeelish. and the caffeine kept me awake till like 5 am...cos i haven't taken coffee in ages,,,,thanks to Saouthern. cao. anyway.... went outside again to prepare for d countdown! wheee! 5 4 3 2 1 merry christmasssssssssss~~~~~

then we took buses home and she gave away some of her extra light sticks to some ppl witting near us... i gave my light belt to this dude on the bus cos it kept falling off. LOL. i was high on coffee, and he n his friends thought i was drunk. lmao.... then at CP i met three other dudes n gave dem my extra sticks... haha... they were funny like said thanks to me in japanese n was like...''i love youu!!'' lmao..talk about the Christmas spirit...

so yeah.. today was christmassssssss and i woke up damn late...went to my couscous's house, ate a damnnnn delish lunch, and passed out on the sofa. yup. amazin.... see, i got all d rest i needed today, tmrw, im meetin up two more lovelys! yayy!

sunday meetin shaaa...
monday meetin chaaaa and prolly Chris my uncle. lmao..
ohhhh crap my days are pretty much mixed up... but yeah... can't help it i have too little time and too many things to do. oh well.

[she's at the breaking point where she might actually do something frighteningly stupid. as if she hasn't already done it before. but at least now she knows it's stupid! looks like she needs another talk with liza n ash! ]

hey hey hey hey hey..
couple more things to add to that list of random and stupid things i've done ^^

`gotten wasted in singapore, Kbox. lmao...!
`got served vodka without even bein carded! dayyuuummmm.... i love this place sometimes. hahha.

it was fun gettin wasted with my girl...but man she slipped so fast! hahaha it was hilarious... at first she said she cud take 7 shots before passin out.... but it took onli like, one can of beer and one shot of vodka and she was tipsy. two more cans of beer and she was gone yo.
yepps..
so basically my whole day....
woke up, at like, 815? then the parents took me to our club's gym.. dang... worked out pretty alrite... felt satisfied.. then daddykins dropped me off at Novena MRT and i got to eat my Shilin Street Market egg/cheese/mushroom wrap. damn it was goood as good can be! need to eat it again soon! lmao.. then went down to meet tatcha at Orchard MRT.. wheee! another movie scene with us embracing in public. lol. set off on our merry way, had pasta mania again! lol.. durin which we gossippedddd about various stuffs. lmao. some things were just funny as hell.... so anyway. aft lunch, shopshopshop... then went down to taka to look for mphosis and yt darlin! couldn't find both =_=''' so we went to kboxxxxxxx..
damn..
cudn't sing for shit cos my throat sounds like a freakin dude, so we danced and danced... and had vodka...and beer... and yep. it was good. T and her bf came by to pick chacha up...n someone came to pick me up. to dat person i gotta say, thanks alot.. even though you prolly hate me, you always pull thru for me in the end. i really appreciated it. cos without ur help i'll prolly feel really lost and sick. thanks =)

so as i was stumbling around in heels and it occurred to me...like... when im in sg i miss people in us. when im in us i miss people in sg. it doesn't make sense to me luh. i hate that my life is like split in two....
anyway... i'll learn to deal, sooner or later =)

yeppp i gotta go to bed tmrw is another long ass day =)

toodles~

i kinda miss getting wasted and kinda at the same time don't wanna do it...
lol...
i feel completely like myself again..

so comfortable back home..
wheeee~

anyway..
ytd went out for lunch with my daddy...then went to shopshopshop for cosmetics. lol. poor daddy. after that we met momms up at the national library, then went to....raffles hotel to see d carolling. jeez. now i really feel like a damnned tourist. lmao. thanks mom. =_='''
but then after that i took a bus down to tpy... and had dinner with my xiao di.. =) nice ta meet ya boy...
yepp ytd was a pretty chill day.. today however.. im meeting tatchaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~! yayyyyyyyyyyy~! so happy happy happy... hehehe..

and yesterday someone made my day in d morning. ^^ actually two people. hehe. thanks. but im still figurin out what i shud do. =P

xoxoxoxoxo
dawn

PS: mad day of shopping now yo!

lol what about the best laid plans of mice and men.. haha..
met jireh yesterday instead of ting..cos that stupid girl had to finish her presentation? idk... haha.. and prolly meeting duckers today.. supposed to be cha cha, but her sister's forcin her to meet me tmrw instead. aghhhh all this moving around of time... makes me confused yo! haha..
somehow i woke up at 5 today again..
weird...

anyway..
ytd went to lunch with grampys... pretty late lunch, totally my fault cos i kept them waiting.. was chatting on messenger... bleh... i can't take things so seriously anymore. detrimental to my health! lmao..
so after lunch i met up jirehhhhhh and we went shopshopshopping ! whee! spotted this black dress im thinking of buying...for like, either valentine's banquet or jst some random occasion. lol. idk. i kinda doubt i'll have a bf by the valentine's banquet thingy judging as by how darn weird a taste i have in guys, but we'll see! went to dhoby ghaut, plaza singapura...hmmms... took alot of funny pics =) posted on facebook! aft that went back home and made macncheese for my daddy! wheee~! macncheese is awesome ^^

had fever and sorethroat in d evening... can you believe that... sadness... but now my fever's gone just a sorethroat.... guess what.. i have cough syrup that i bought from the VM... HAHAH! i was thinking of getting high on it ...but didn't.... yet,,,, LOL!

aights. im gon try to slp awhile more before getting up to shower! it's like... 7...and it's so bright out. weird. im trying to adjust to the weird time here still.. LOL...

cheers~!

aights
i woke up this morning at five started out calm but then soon started feeling like i always do in Southern.. mild panic attack... but finally calmed down enough to go backk to bed.. lol. just got up.... i love the way i feel at home.. just so chill and calm u know?! i nvr felt like tat at southern execept during thanksgivin break.. lol. love havin my 'rents around... =)
today i'll get up then shower then we have a lunch wit grampys at mom's restaurant. hmmm.. oooo another thing!
i loveeee like, showering in a spacious shower with lots of space to move around and and and a mirror! lol! really appreciate that now yo..

then i woke up today to my doggie stretched out beside me.. mmmms =)

i'm contented .

very contented.
aights tentative plan ...

today meetin ting
tmrw meeting cha cha n jireh
tues meetin zoee
wed i think meetin duckie n dana n whoever else wanna go get wasted in K.. LOL.. jkjk

anyway... xmas is full..
29 my uncle is in town so im gonna chil with him lol....
im leavin on d 31st. fucking annnoying... there were no other plane tickets later than that.

oh well..
nvmm
just 4 more months n i can come back for SUMMER BREAK.
isn't it funny how im already looking forward to that??? :P

OH YEAH ytd i was super happpy too cos i saw my favorite male teacher yo! other than my dad.... obviously.... MR JACOB. MS TAN abandoned me idk whennn she's comin back =( but i can't wait to see her!
yayyyyys =)
i feel good.. im gonna go get FOOD... yes... FOOD... yum!

first day back home...
reached, and yepp moms and pops were waiting at the big glass gate! hehehe... grampys too...
waited what seemed like ages for my luggage and finally went out there and gave them huge hugs =)
after that we drove home...where moms had an awesome meal waiting. wheee~ lovely lovely... ate, then showered, and when i came out grampys had left.. which was kinda good cos i was exhausted..
later i got changed and went to churchies. so happy! i thought yt wasn't goin to come but she did~!!! yayyy!!! it was like a romance movie film... i was like running towards her n we both had huge goofy grins on our faces. LOL.... after church went to have ban mian!!! yayyyssss! soooo darn good....
after that bought donuts for sha sha and waited till chuan chuan was over. bleh. waste of time..but pretty worth it =) got to laugh alot... and basically just chilled out a lil with meifong [?]

took 163 from tpy to home... lol... thought about stuff..but then i couldn't stay awake and i knocked out. LOL.

today was the last day i'm gonna be sad about you...
so i'm going to make myself not think about it again...
even tho tmrw is the 21st...
i'm not gonna be sad or anything...
life's gonna go on...
so today i went out and walked the places we used to walk tgh
thought about stuff that happened..
and yep.
i'm done thinking.

now.
it's all about playing.
heh.

and you! asked me to talk to u when im free! but ur never online! hmphs! =P

im like in beijing airport rite now..
kena ripped off my the money changer..
had to pay 50 rmb to change 25 sing. so in d end i onli get like 62 rmb. wtf.
on my return trip i gotta change money before moving sia! daylight robbery..
technical'y no daylight luh, but whatever.. lol

but anyway..
e damn thing is stupid...
had a good flight slept alot...
14 effing hours..
they dint have vegetarian food cos gotta reserve 24 hrs before hand. so i was like eating plain rice. kao. nvm. go back singapore confirmm have alot to eat..
LOL..

stupid yt is workin tomorrow...so i can't see her lo. basket.. den my darlin twin also workin. nvm. that one workin at 6 onli, im gonna terrorize her before her work. LOL. sha's baptism too! whee! den night time i wanna go see d lights at orchard baybee.... whoooooooooooo~!

i love us and sg both so much...

anyway i met this girl on d flight that said she goes to emery. im thinking of that..
southern is pissing me off like fuck. and if i get a degree from there, pretty useless also, no one ever heard of SAU =_=''' yeppps..

that's just thoughts tho...
cos idk what to do with my darlings at southern... =(

aight aight...
no more batt soon le!
gonna go change n freshen up n look for my damnned gate...for my last flight! YAY~!

i can see lukie soooooooooooooooooon~~~~~~~!

i have this insane feeling..i keep thinking i'm leaving america for good..and it feels wrong.after just four months i've gotten so used to it.it's my second home.i've loved, hated, and cried for people hereand that's what makes the place feel like home.
anyway.i'm in ATL airport rite now..and another thing i JUST realizedwhich is pretty dumb actually.is that...im living in d south.where there's just like black culture everywhere.i just realized that. damn. shows how pathetically isolated Southern is!
i wish i was happier going back home..just feel like my heart is really weighed down ..it doesn't mean i think what i did was wrong..i means that i hate that it hurt someone.i wish it didn't but i m guessing it did.and i honestly care about it i just don't know what to do about it.i can't say i'll never do it againand i can't say i regret iti can't say that i love youbut i can say that i think you're one of d best friends i ever hadand i hate throwing it awayeverything you do it's a slap in the face for mei told you i'll be honest so i'm honestprolly give you some time to chill and calm down before i call you..it's not often i'll try to fix a friendship that suddenly blew up in my facebut i think it's worth itand don't lieyou think it's worth it too.

aight aight aight! last few days were crazy...
well...last week was just basically crazy..

Friday- broke into guys dorm
Saturday- 'party' in some ghetto place
Sunday-all nighter
Monday-sleep early for ONCE...
Tuesday-allnighter.

Wednesday..after the allnighter on tuesday night, i showered and went to meetAGW for breakfasty...awesome breakfast. had eggs the first time in AGES.so yeah.ITalian exam took one hour instead of two...accompanied JDFK to eat his breakfast... then went to my history exam..which was also only about one hour cos it seemed pretty easy.write until hand cramp.LOL.After that went back to pick up my roommateand we went to the campus bookshopi was freaking out there cos...alot of...fat hei ren..or ohr lang...HAHAH! newfound phobia? fuckin D.y. but still much better than usual cos i was pissed and that helped.went wit my roomie to go buy robo.. LOL... but then when i got back to my roomi lost my angerjust got really sad.. n cried.. alot... until i realized thati haven't printed out my plane ticket. so i quickly stopped cryingso i cud go print it out. LOL...after that i climbed into bed and CRASHED. lol.. no slp for more than 24 hours.. i was EXHAUSTEDjust passed out totally. ash came in to talk to me, but i was so out..i fell aslp while she was talkin to me! LOL! nth to say... guess it's physical n emotional strain of the past few days..so i had a few hours rest, until my roommate got back inand started puking all over the place. LOL.she drank a frickin half bottle of Skye...and her bf let her. IDIOTS.yessss you are! jeez... my poor baby girl.. =(so anyway.. called Sam up and let him know i didn't approve of him =_='''and after ting came in i took three shots n then went to dinner wit ash n nads..met E.. IT was FUN walking around Southern with a buzz.. haha.. it was a slight buzz..three shots used to have me raellly fucked last time. not it's not so bad =) yayyy^^but anyway.. went to a random woodwork building and talked crap while he built some wooden thingy.
if you ever see this thanks dude ur usually d one that gets stuck with me everytime i get drunk n walk around! LOL!cos i know ur safe like that. =)
anyway. then i msged lza girl and she was like, i'm leaving at 11! you gotta come back before then!so yeah.. i went back.. poor baby was still like puking...
she left ...and then i did last minute packing, and showered, then went to ash n nads room..chilled there awhile..it was good. and i kept goin back n forth, packin n chilling packing n chilling. LOL.aft the RA came in, they smoked an apple and i ate mac&cheese. mmmm awesome.later we had a shortshort dance session. idk..i don't think i'm really that good at dancing, but i really love it..cos it makes me feel so free and just...expressive. now it's like a habit everytime i hear songs wit good beats i start moving.lols.had a sweet talk session on d beds rite before i left, then it was adious chicas!and yeppp my taxi was early he's awesome like that..and got to Groomes.. sat thinking on the shuttle bus.. but thinking made me wanna cryso i jus let myself sleep even tho i planned not to. cos when i slp i get groggy n disorientated ....i got to the airport too damn early! LOL! and checking in was easy...self check in.. omgmy first time travelling alone and i'm doin wellmy dad taught me well!HAHAH!omg i miss my dad...talked to my parents last nite in d woodwork buildin..was pretty good...
anyway! this is one long ass post..did i say how emo i feel rite now..it's stupid.i shud be happy..cos im a heartless bitch rite..but i've nvr been this freakin emo since forever...
aights! later!

swimming in golden light
stumbling and laughing
hold me, turn me, roll me
we're dancing the damn night away
hands up shirt off
hands on my back pull me down with you
no wait baby one more shot
you need to get so wasted before i'll trust you
to the left to the right
first you're down then i'm down
now i'm spinning
pounding walls shaking beats
no no go away my hands are full
it's all about what i want tonight
if you do what i say
i do what you like
tomorrow i don't know what happened
but tonight i'm doing what i want.

oh wait they're calling
it's shot 5.

moonlight shining
people calling out
hands down your shoes fall to the ground
.i'm worried checking on her b
ut i'm comin back
stay right here
she's fine i'm fine i'm back
laughing so giddy with spirits
baby take one more shot
hate those hands pulling at me
get them away
it's only you i'll accept tonight
love it cos you respect me
somehow i know you do
that's why i'm here with you
hate those people watching
yeah that's right tell them it's your game
tell them to leave
hell yes i'll keep going

one more shot?
we're not done yet
not till i say we are
not till you say we are

no no no don't take me away
i don't want you you're scaring me
too tall too dark too fast too wrong
i know you're hot you're so hot
but you're not what i want tonight
open that damnned door
thanks.

one touch and you follow
love that power
just for right now
love how you look under the moonlight
all shadows
so feral
love how you look
dont love you
yeah baby that's my name keep it in mind
if you forget me tomorrow
i'll kill you
what were we talking about
oh yes
my roommate you know her right
nevermind let's move on
tell me what you like
tell me what you feel
i'm an english major you're boring me
change what you're sayin or i'll stop
that's funny i'm laughin
fuck tell them to leave again
close the damned door.
oh that's right hold on tight
love that power
you make me so light
this is it i'm finishing
this is it you're finishing
suddenly i stop and stare
it's beautiful
hollow shadowed lines under the silver light
i'm sober i'm smiling not laughing
you say i'm strong
hell yeah you're just easy
let's go get another shot.
and get you passed out.
yeah.
tomorrow we wake up
back to back
i'm shivering cos i'm scared
till i realize i haven't lost anything i'm glad
dizzy so dizzy
there's nothing to say
the day washes our night away.
i'm glad.

ok.
so now.
i'm like in the something or other building...apparently we broke into the computer lab. wow.
so like...it's quiet n borin.. but chill like that... im slightly buzzed with 3 shots...but it's wearing off. n that's sad..
i might just start cryin...
cos i keep thinkin of shit.
and so i do crazy stuff to keep my mind off of it..
idk..
me boy toy has left alrdy. that sucks. LOL...
but all the better...
i think i'd get bored really fast with him if i haven't alrdy...

urgh.
that was just mean.
anyway.

i can't believe i'm flyin off in like less than ten hours.
i need the quiet i guess...
and i also need to pee..
but that's beside the point..
i'm looking forward to goin back home,..
seeing my girls
shoppin
eating
just hanging...

i dont' know..
i miss my dad n mom...
esp my dad cos we spend so much time jus chilling...
anyway..
tmrw taking a cab down to east ridge n then takin a shuttle
feels like an adventure.
u know what's gonna be funnier?
i'm gonna be doin it with a hangover..LOL..

kkays..
ciaos! love u guys! see u back home yo!

wow.
i totally don't understand.
maybe i don't need to.
maybe it's a friendship that's supposed to be easily given up on.
yeah.
so i do one thing you don't like.
and it's the end?
i don't even understand WHY.
i just understand it is.
nevermind.
thank you for the gift.
it's pretty.
i'd just rather have our friendship.

but it's pretty obvious.
u removed me from myspace
n then returned me tony.
yeah.
it's aight.

you'll be better off this way:)

FINALS OVER!!!!
oh yeahhhhh babes....

it's partay time ..... ^^
let's do something stupid tonight and make it a big huge FU to the world! LOL...

just kidding..

but seriously...
no more studying for the next two weeks!!!! hehehehe..
relief...
and chillnesss...
and HOME.
yay yay yay...
i'm flyinggggg away real sooooon =)

fuck yeah.

im' pissed.
i think it's just too many things happening at once..
people being unhappy with me for things i do.
my ex..
my other ex..
my friend..
my good friend..
it just dun make sense to me..
am i really that good of a person?
i mean..
honestly..
so what if i made out with another guy when i was drunk..
i was on the verge of being single.
and i have no commitments.
i need freedom it's like everything is bottling up and expressing itself in crazy ways.

fucking idiots talking about how i know how to handle a dick.
what the fuck.
i'm gonna find out who said that.
and guess what?
i'm gonna cut his fucking dick off.
cos what gives him the right to say that.
even more..
what gives him the right to spread it around????
what.the.fuck.
what's wrong with two hot people hooking up.
i'm still a virgin
and we're still strangers
so that's awesome like that.

people do shit like that and they don't get judged for it.
but somehow i do it and i lose respect.
or some shit.
that's dumb,
let me tell you what i've always been telling you
i'm a bad girl.
i'm a bitch
i'm a demon
believe the worst of me
and then so you won't be disappointed.
i don't wanna hurt no one
but i can't help it if they think i'm perfect like that.

I'M NOT FUCKING PERFECT AND I NEVER WILL BE SO ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WHO EXPECT ME TO BE PERFECT OR INNOCENT OR SMART ALL THE TIME.
JUST GO FUCKING FUCK YOUR FUCKING SELVES IN THE FUCKING HEAD COS YOUR FUCKING BRAINS DON'T WORK ANYWAY SO THERE'S A BIG FUCKING SPACE TO ENJOY FUCKING YOURSELF.

[the stuff in caps was definately not meant for dreydrey or eli....for real. jus some people u don't know.]

BUT ANYWAY.
convinced?
i'm pure evil.
i'm as evil as any bitch can be.
so
just think of it that way,
and you'll never be disappointed.
and YES this part was meant just for you my friend.

studying history now...
italian's more or less done..
blahhh...
can't decide which one is worse yo!

i haven't left my room the whole fucking day.
cos i look gross and i need to only b seen in public when i feel great...
LMAO...

breakfast wit tintin tmrw..
then exams..
and then partayyyy =)

whooo~!

yep.
it's studying time.
cripes..
italian.
history.
argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

i just want this to be over with.
one more day! whooo!

i thinkkk we have gordons coming wednesday night. hellls yeah.
just hope i can cope with that flying back early thurs morn!

im gon sell my books back too! yessss!!!!
this feeeeels goooood~

starting time: 12 32 am
Name: Dawn Chee

sisters: sha sha! zzzoeee! meis...

brothers: too many to list luh.

Eye Color: dark brownn

Shoe size: 6? no wait. ther's no way i can b bigger than sha leh..

Height: prolly 155 or less! lol

What are you wearing right now?girl's tank n long china patterned pants.

Where do you live?room 1128 thatcherhall in frickin southern.

Favorite Number: 3.5.7.9.

Favorite Drink: hmmmm. water.

Favorite Month: may! cos that's when summer starts baybbbee!

Favorite Breakfast: biscuits n gravy!

***********Have You Ever***********
Broken a bone: i've broken my ass bone.. =_='''

Been in a police car: nope thank GOD.

Been on a plane: many timess

Been in a hot tub: yessss

Swam in the ocean: yessss

Fallen asleep in school: in history classs

Broken someone’s heart: i'm try not to...

Cried when someone died?: definately. what do u think i am? some monster??? lol..

Fell off your chair: maybe once or twice...

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: hmmm...nope, i always just go to bed. LOL.

Saved e-mails: definately.

Been cheated on: i don't think so...lol..

***********What is************
Your room like?cool! duh =_='''

Whats right beside you? books n books n books.

What is the last thing you ate?peanuts.

———————-Ever Had- ————————-
Chicken pox: last damn year.
Sore throat: couple days ago...more like achy throat..
Stitches: hell no!
Broken nose: my nose is so damn flat it can't break luh..

————————-Do You————————–
Believe in love at first sight?:nope...mm.. but lust definately! lol...
Like picnics: depends on how good th weather is man..
———————————————————
Who was the last person you danced with? i thinkkk it was C
Who last made you smile?my roommate! =) xoxo

————————–Who—————————
Did you last yell at? D...that fuckin asswipe asshole jackass retard...what else liza??
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? contacts alot of the time..glass in my room.
———-Final Questions————-
What are you listening to right now?No Matter What by TI

What did you do today?read below post for details.

Hate someone in your family?nope...

Good singer: hell no..

Diamond or pearl? diamond! agreed sha! lol..

Are you the oldest?: yeahhhh

Indoors or out doors?depends on my mood n with who..

——————Today did you———————-
Talk to someone you like?don't like no body.
Kiss anyone?hahahaha nope..
Get sick?thank goodness no.
Sing: tried to!
Talk to an ex? nope....
Miss someone: I MISS PEOPLE BACK HOME.
Eat: of course!
—————-Last person who——————
You talked to on the phone?ash...

Made you Cry? my ex... hmm. feels weird to say that.. lol...

Went to the movies with: dreydrey and nads..

You went to the mall with? huh. can't remmeber!

——————Have you——————-
Been to Mexico? lols no...

Been to Canada? yeppp...it's nice.
——————-Random——————–
Have a crush on someone: nope..honest.

What books are you reading right now:text books. namely italian and history.

Best feeling in the world:getting what i want. [for now.]

Future kids names:something hot....

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?YES! two cuddly pandas that i hug to bed ^^

What’s under your bed:a monster...

Favorite sport(s) to watch:basketball..

Favorite location: my bedroom. and krs. and HOME.

Who do you really hate?Satan. cudn't have said it better darlin..

Do you have a job? nope but im SO gonna get a job next semester yo!

Ever liked someone you didn’t have a chance with?hmmm..i guess so? but not recently. like. last year...

You lonely right now?nope. =) i feel so loved..

What time is it now?12 47 am.

hey what do you know

it took me only sleep from 8 am to 1 45 pm to feel normal again..

pretty much..

hahaha..

i'm bouncy like that.

no more bitchin jus bein happy =)

exams today were good. Thank God i woke up when i did, i was supposed to turn in my paper at 12 pm but then i overslept so i turned it in at 2 pm. just in time cos she stopped accepting them at 2 pm. thank God for real... whew...

then speech exam was easy but we had to wait for almost all d impromptu speeches were over which kinda sucked..two hours of sitting on my bum... LOLS...

aft that went to eat wit rayray...

then met up A.S.T to go to Five Guys n eat peanuts..

came back n hung arnd d studente center awhile...

sigh..

tired now. gonna slp. shower den slp.
tmrw gotta wake up early n mug for italian n history,. after that, it's exams, then partaye time bayyybe... hahaha =)

then..
HOME.
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

WARNING. RAMBLINGS AND INCOHERENT THOUGHTS. IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ DON'T HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST ME.

i just realized.

we girls need to get wasted one last time before the end of semester.

hells yeah babes.
i promised you n i'll do my best to keep dat promise.
cos i really gotta clean up dis act already.
enough stupid shit.

i'm goin to b chill now. be calm even when wasted. that's an art. i gots to get that down. LOL.. and getting means practise.
i'll get this to perfection man. i swear.
see cos losing control ain't something i'm comfortable with, you know? i gotta regain control. and that means becomin a master at whatever i do or at least being able to control what happens to me. i'm experienced losing control over me. that's not happening again. true, nothing happened. but i don't like it. i'm sick of always being blurry and only being able to scream, grab a dude, n wait for someone to make the baddies go away. i need to b calm b chill. cos i swear i hate the feeling of losing control. i hate it hate it hate it.i hate depending on someone to always have my back, cos sometimes they dont have ur back. and then u know it's not their fault its my own fault for expecting them to be there anyway rite. see i need to depend on me.[and NO if u r askin urself if im talkin abt u, well i'm not.] what i hate even more is the feeling of your mind being lucid but your body betraying you.it won't move when you want it to move, it has no strength when it should protect itself. when i want to slap someone and my vision swims i hate it. i hate even more when my mind starts losing control too and i can't recognize people.i hate waking up with pains and cuts that i have no idea how i got. i hate the morning-after awkwardness. i hate forcing myself to pretend like nothing happened when i feel both mad pissed and mad happy at myself. i start saying things i shouldn't. it's all stages man. and i got to stop myself before i get to that stage....
hahahah. this seems retarded like im talkin to myself. you just don't understand how frickin scary and ANNOYING it is. it's more annoying than scary actually.but yes i've got to get control back. i need control.

next semester.
earn my own cash.
own all my classes cos they're THANKFULLY all english.
and yep, it'll b a real bonus if i don't piss anyone off or something like that.
now i can do whatever shit i want n i don't have to feel bad about it. of course there are consequences, that's fo sho.. but at this point i'm ALMOST past caring. no one is strong enough to be that darlin Aunty or Yt here for me.. hahaha.. so who.who is gonna keep me on the straight path. oh wait. that sounds wrong. the question should be who do i care about enough who would want me to stop doin crazy shit down here. the people i care about here all do the same things. it's not that i don't care about those people back home who don't want me to do shit. if i was home i wouldn't be doing it. yes? but it's just...different when everyone's so far away. it's like i've been sent to another planet and i have a freaking double life. well u know why. cos honestly u peeps back home aren't gonna accept me as i am in america n i'm basically gonna die of boredom if i'm who i am back home over here. it's d devil an the deep blue sea.

like i say.
i gotta get outta here before i lose it..
or maybe i've already lost it.
i'm confused like crap now. i think i need sleep. u think? idk..
i'm writing a synthesis paper right now. the definition of synthesis means ''combining..seperate elements...to form a coherent whole.'' or '' the complex whole so formed.'' i'm supposed to bring together what i have experienced this first semester at Southern and condense it into a paper. a SYNTHESIS PAPER. my professor is honestly retarded you know? but we deal. we deal. that's the only way. this my last assignment for her fat ass, and u know what? i'm proud of myself that i'm not bullshitting it. i'm actually being honest. and i pretty much mean everything i sayn in this paper. which is pretty darn amazin. fuckin people telling me i'm changing. i'm not. it's only what i do that's changing, jus like i changing my clothes. my body my mind it's still d same. i still believe in the same shit i believed in before. not like it matters this long ass post ain't gon be read but im just sayin it for d record. so don't hold no shit gainst me. i wrote an amazing essay last week about Why SDA Youth Leave The Church. i wrote it from the heart and i scored. i wrote with what i believed and i scored. so hells yeah i haven't changed. if anyone can't handle just my exterior changing, then fuck it. i'm sorry. but i jus wish someone would believe in me that im not changing on the inside. if anything's changing its just that i'm getting stronger and more streetsmart. trying to anyway. i gotta survive anyway...in a place where friends tell on friends and where police haunt d campus for no good reason. in a place where they force you to go to church and make you pay blood if you don't. in a place where everyone's so fake you don't know who they really are. i think it's sad that when i get wasted, the first thing i ask a dude is if i can trust him. and no matter how much he tells me i can trust him, i never do. becos i KNOW it's a lie. on campus here man? only two ppl i know for sure won't lie to me. one cos he dun give a shit n one cos i know he wont. then theres my darlin roommate for sure too. but everyday i interact with ppl i kno ain't real. it's like livin in a mirage. one day i'm gon look back at this and be laughing..but rite now i don't feel like laughing. rite now i don't wanna go out i dun wanna see no one. i feel safe in the girls' dorm. these four walls aren't going to hate me or get pissed at me or lie to me. i know them they ain't strangers. yep. that's what i feel rite now. that's basically what i felt for a whole damn lot of the semester. but then now i know the meaning of another word. i know it better than i've ever known it before. awkward. it's a long story,suddenly i'm tired. but i feel so damn awkward now. more so than atlanta or even the whole fiasco of my supposed crush on some supposed crushee. this is like, i dont' even know how to act, it's like, i hyperventilate everytime there's a lot of people around. my friend can't even leave me alone in the lobby to get water to drink.... this state of mind if stupid, and i'm gonna have to force myself to get over it tmrw.
this is so stupid.
people say they find it pointless after 4 years or more? i find it pointless after 3 months. i'll prolly stop after another 4 months. but all in all.
i still hold firm.
no regrets.
cos i learn something from everything.

it's 7 30 when i finish my paper...
i started at 5 50.
should i sleep now?
and risk dreaming of falling off a building?

ha.
my whole body has random muscles that ache when i move them.
my throat is aching too.
and my hands n right arm...
HAHAHA...
is sore...
and..
i have a cut on my boob.
IDK how that happened...honest. LOL.
my neck hurts like fuck.

all these weird things...i have no idea why...
musta done something...good...

so yeah. i had my comp 101 exam this morning.. it was good...i think...shoud be aite... went out l8er n had rafaels....,then did my computer test...and now waiting to finish my synthesis paper. it's bullshit i donm't wanna write it...but what to do..
SIANZ.
hahhhahaa.
my fingernails are snowdrop colored ...

i hate the way i talk now..somehow..like...the grammar is slipping n too much slang. too much ghetto i think. now THAT'S bad. im an english major. yep.

but no seriously, the aches in my body are worrying me...
sweet sweet nadia...
and her blissful ''maybe you got raped last night.'' stunt.
JEEEZ comforting much??? hahhahha!

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there
Does anyobdy see
That sometimes loneliness is just a part of me

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

more stuff to add to the ever increasingly stupid list...

`snuck OUT of the girls' dorm and into the guys' dorm. it was a dare more or less... LOL...
`got wasted two nights in a row.
`snuck out of d girls' dorm again to go to a ''party'' at a friend's house. pretty lame tho...but..i had fun...
`i went cosmic bowling!!!! wheee~~!! now THAT was fun.. hahaha..
`i said...alot...of weird things....that i've never said before.

hmm. let's see..
we went thrift store shoppin too... got two tops and a ring and two fat ass panda's...lol... andd two stuffed toys for my friends.... hmmm...that's bout it...

i still have to take a computer test like asap...
and write the Synthesis paper for NOND. so tha's three topics down in one day..
three more to go bayyyybe...
then after that i
can
go
home.
good!

fuck...
my hands still smell like frickin baby oil......

PS: yt i need to talk to u aysap =P

so anyway...GUESS WHAT im not freaked out by the lyrics anymore! ha! sad for SOMEONE who loves freaking me out over it. lol...

yepps...now i think im gon take a rest till mai girl is ready to go shop at da VM..

i finally got a phoneeeee~
unlimited texting...
450 mins out...
free incoming...
free verizon to verizon...
free night and weekend minutes.

yepp..
all that for a frickin 60 bucks a month.
im SO gonna have to work next semester... T.T

well see, cos if i work like 10 hrs i week, i can get 300 a month...
so that should be pretty good...
at the most..
keep my parents from going broke! lol..

plus i'd feel much better if i used the SCHOOL'S money to pay for my.....entertainment. HAHAHAH.

xoxo~

and because i'm pissed..
let me describe how it was like to trip for da first time..
hahaha..
i wish i had a video or a recording of myself but i don't..
it was basically..
first i sat in a laundry basket...
grinning at people...like an idiot...and laughing at every lil thing. then i got talkative but my speech was slurry and slow. called up a couple of people....

[3 hrs later]

ok u know what im bored of this.
just had an amazing time hanging out with some lovely people.
cheerios...
^^

dawn is fucking annoyed,
that's my status as of rite now.

prolly cos i haven't had enough sleep in days..
as my friends would prolly point out- by choice..
but yeah.
im pretty annoyed and i just need exams to be over with so i can leave this fuckin town and go home~!

hahaha...
loves~
xoxoxo

Saturday night three of us went to this indian place to eat.. damnnn good,,, haha!

winterrr~

early morning sun!!

that thingy in the pic is my elbow.. how the heck u think it got in there.. LOL!

ya don't mess with us.. hell yeah.. ~!

and then ...i started tripping...and taking random pics.... HAHAHA!

mui roomiie~

nads~!

jeeeez this is like the first pic that i took wit her that i look half way decent!

latest thing to add to my list... hmmm..

`i robo tripped...

hell yeah.
it was a heck of a weird experience...
i won't go into detail..just say im not doing it again anytime soon! haha.

so yep.
that's about all...
one more week to finals..
AND..
screwed.

life is complicated.
don't you think?

person A person B and person C.
these three people are choices i need to make.
and the all elusive person X.

if im not careful..
im gonna screw up reallllly bad.
and be left with...
zero.

so yes.
i need to tread carefully..
in order to not alieniate any of my dear dear friends. BLAH.
why can't life be easier.

i don't take well to people copying my style.
especially something that means alot to me.
fuck that.

im tired as shit but i don't think there's time for me to go to bed. how sad is that.
nvm. im sleeping IN tmrw. LOL..... ^^

hmmms. aight.
new fave show..
HOUSE M.D.
hahaha..
hilarity ensues.

^^

speech writin time!

today.
class.
eat.
class.
eat.
shop.
shower.
sleep.
bi-lo.
china rose.
promenade.
FREEZE.
sleep.

yeppps. southern is screwing me over. im supposed to have like worship today, and they canceled it. so taht means i have to go for thursday's morning one at talge hall. utter and complete fuckshit. yepps. anyway.

routine for tmrw is simple...

wake up.
do hw.
class.
eat.
class.
eat.
sleep.
write speech.
worship.
workout??

i should...
but i jus feel like sleeping.
no idea why..
hibernation????

gomen..
io molti stanca...
non mi piace l'universita di Southern.

ahhh freak.
i just stood my friend up for dinner cos i fell asleep and couldn't wake up.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit..
you have NO idea how bad i feel...

=(

THIS IS WHAT I WROTE LAST YEAR!

List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:
-to be still happy with him
-a cat =P
-to be in control of all 9 subjects
-to get A for chinese[impossible]
-love everyone

Answer the following questions :
1. The person who tag you is?jiaaaasinnnn
2. Your relationship with him/her is? friends
3. Your 5 impressions of him/her? sociable, nice, friendly, quiet, girly
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you? shopping!
5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you? i'll b there for you if ur sad?
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will? it will NEVER happen cos i happen to b un-les
7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be? her gender =_=
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will? how would i know unless i try?
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? no respect for her
10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is? be a friend?
11.Your overall impression of him/her is? she's going thru some tough times...i thnk...
12.How you think people around you will feel about you? now?i think they feel i'm crazy. =)13.The character you love of yourself are? HAHA.. i'm no narcissist.
14.On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are? weak believe in myself. ><
15.The most ideal person you want to be is? someone who is in control and knows what she wants but still lovable =P
16.For people that care and like you, say something to them? i'll be there for you if you need me =)
17.Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you

shipeng
shiro
MSTAN
yanting
nghi
dev
keith
rekha
naomi
meishan =)

11.Who is no.6 having relationship with? errrrr.....
12.Is no.9 a male or female? girl
13.If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? i won't like it =P
14.How about no.8 and 5? HAHA!they're un-les too!
15.What is no.2 studying about? how to be a slacker and entertainer.
16.When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? last saturday =)
17.What kind of music band does no.8 like? bollywood ones! eheh!jk jk
18.Does no.1 has any siblings? yupp=)
19.Will you woo no.3? OMGGG!!no way!!
20.How about no.7? ...........i'm attached lah
.21.Is no.4 single? she's attached to 7 guys.
22.What's the surname of no.5? Lam? not sure...
23.What's the hobby of no.4? being pregnant! hehe!
24.Do no.5 and 9 get along well? yahyah they LOVEEEE each other!
25.Where is no.2 studying at? SYAS...but he'll graduate into the School for Idiots very soon.
26.Say something casual about no.1? he's not casual, he's AHdorable. =P
27.Have you try developing feelings for no.8?no need, i LOVEEE her already.
28.Where does no.9 live at? next to me! ehhe.
29.What color does no.4 like? black.same as me =)
30.Are no.5 and 1 best friends? yupp! i hope so anyway... =)
31.Does no.7 likes no.2? hehehe...they're straight....
32.How do you get to know no.2? he owned me in english, so i talked to him. =P aHAHAHA.
33.Does no.1 have any pets? yes! me! =)
34.Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? maybe! hahaha...

THIS IS WHAT I WRITE THIS YEAR:

List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:
-be a successful sophomore. key being successful.
-a snake =P
-get As in the majority of my courses.
-my parents to be safe back home.
-better n deeper r/s with all my friends in sg n us.

Answer the following questions :
1. The person who tag you is?jiaaaasinnnn
2. Your relationship with him/her is? acquaintances.
3. Your 5 impressions of him/her? sociable, nice, friendly, quiet, girly
4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you? shopping!
5. The most memorable words he/she had said to you? i'll b there for you if ur sad?
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will? it will NEVER happen cos i happen to b un-les
7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be? her gender =_=
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will? do nothing.
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? no respect for her
10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is? nothing.
11.Your overall impression of him/her is? no comment.
12.How you think people around you will feel about you? they still think im crazy!
13.The character you love of yourself are? no idea still!
14.On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are? hmm..i have a blind spot. no wait. several blind spots.
15.The most ideal person you want to be is? someone who is in control and knows what she wants but still lovable =P
16.For people that care and like you, say something to them? i'll be there for you if you need me =)
17.Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you

1yanting
2shasha =)
3cha cha
4shan2
5jireh
6jassy
7shiiro-chan
8eliB
9andryG
10jasonY

11.Who is no.6 having relationship with? heh.. no idea really..prolly with some hot china girl!
12.Is no.9 a male or female? HAHAHAHA male.
13.If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? it will be awesomely gay. =P
14.How about no.8 and 5? wow. tall and short and gay. wow..
15.What is no.2 studying about? how to be soooo adorably cute.
16.When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? eons ago. bad bad tatcha T.T
17.What kind of music band does no.8 like? hmm.. rock?
18.Does no.1 has any siblings? ya three sisters...
19.Will you woo no.3? hmm...nah yogi will KILL KILL KILL me....
20.How about no.7? he's attached and im attached, furthermore, he's a DUCK.
21.Is no.4 single? nopes...not that i know of...
22.What's the surname of no.5? PRAWN.
23.What's the hobby of no.4? spending time with her bf! lol..
24.Do no.5 and 9 get along well? come to think of it.. they're so alike... hahaha... hmm... they'll get along SO well....
25.Where is no.2 studying at? NJC...^^
26.Say something casual about no.1? casual... she's my girl for life =)
27.Have you try developing feelings for no.8? no.
28.Where does no.9 live at? in the dudes' dorm.....in a room....of which i know not the number..
29.What color does no.4 like? i seem to have no idea....=P
30.Are no.5 and 1 best friends? HAHAHAHA i wonder... i wonder...
31.Does no.7 likes no.2? YES YES YES HE DOES YES YES YES nahh im jus kiddin. =P
32.How do you get to know no.2? a longggggggggggg ass time ago.
33.Does no.1 have any pets? hamsters that i forced her to keep! lol...
34.Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA sexiest DUCK maybe... =P

Who is the next person you will hold hands with?
absolutely no idea, what, now you think im psychic. =P

What is the status of you and the last person you texted?
no texting...sadness..

What is wrong with you right now?
the fact that im hungry cos i only had one meal today. dammit.

Have you lost any good friends recently?
nopes i don't think so ^^ i hope not anyway!!

Who do you hate?
hmm. pr fuck and the effed up lab assistant in SYAS.

What do you want in your life right now?
energy!!!!

Are you happy?
pretty much..i feel mellow...

What are you drinking?
im sure you think im gonna say vodka but NO im drinking WATER. hahahaha.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
i don't know, usually all i want is to love n BE loved. simple right?

How do you feel about the person you got this survey from?
let's not go there.

Whose house did you go to last?
hmm. house... hmmm... can't for the life of me remember...

What were you thinking when you woke up this morning?
hmm i need to pee.

Do you like anyone right now?
my boyf? believe it or not, no one else! haaha. and that's the truth ^^

Are you bored?
kinda.. but i got a shitload of italian hw staring at me.

What is the last movie you watched?
Bleach-diamond dust rebellion.

What are you excited about?
exams coming! then goin home! yes!

When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
haaaaa funny question haaaa haaaa haaa not.

What’s on your mind right now?
homework. sadly.

Who was the last person to make you cry?
hmmms. you KNOW who you are so i'll not say it here. hmphhhs

Do you care what others think about you?
yep. whoever says they don't care is usually lying. =P

Do you like Obama?
who's Obama?

When did you last cry?
i can't remember you know...but it was sometime this week....

Who were you mostly with last night?
wouldn't you like to know!

Do you have a deep secret?
nope....im an OPEN person. =P

What do you want right now?
good grades~~!!!!! T.T

Have you ever made anyone cry?
hmm i don't know..i think so ^^

Are you normally a happy person?
yes of course =) being happy is essential to surviving. =P but im pretty cynical too. LOL.

Are you annoying?
why don't YOU tell me. =P

Are there any people who don't like you?
hmm of course! it's usually mutual though so i don't care.. LOL.

Do you miss anyone?
ALOT of people...

What's something you wish you could understand better?
ITALIAN.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J?
hell no... haha... only startin with... S and A.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
hmm..lust yes, love...well...i dont' think so...

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
sungvihn! i wanna go to texas for spring break! haha.

Are you honest with people?
usually i try to be, but im honest with my close friends for sure.

Do you believe in true love?
yeah i do.

Do you like McCain?
is McCain related to McFlurrys or McBurger?

Do you miss your past?
yeahh in some ways ...the innocence and the illusions..yeahh...

Are you proud of the person you've become?
im proud that i've gotten stronger and more independent. im not proud about some things though...

How good is your eyesight?
hmm. BAD. very very very bad.

What's the longest amount of time you've been on an airplane?
you dont' wanna know... let's just say...
LONG ENOUGH.

What are you doing besides this survey?
chatting wit A.G and doin italian hw. =P

Who was the last person you had a serious talk with?
hmmms... serious meaning? all my conversations are usuallly SERIOUS. ahhaha.

In the past week have you felt sad?
yeah... idk why though...

Do you think you can last in a relationship for more than 3 months?
yeppppps for sure.. =)

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
hmm very very very very recently. in fact. too recent.

How many people do you know with your name?
pretty many people actually! =)

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
neither if i can help it. =P

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
moderate.....spring weather shud be the best!

How's your heart lately?
pretty bored? but at least it's at peace.. haha

Did someone make you mad today?
i dont' remember..so prolly not...

Have you ever drank with your number two?
why on EARTH would that be important?

Who's your celebrity crush?
none... LOL... oh wait. mayb ariel from peterpan, and leo ku! ahha.

Why do you think people kiss with their eyes closed?
idk, i always kiss with my eyes open...

Do you think you are a good person?
i think beneath all this crap i AM basically a good person, idk if u believe me or not..but..can't be helped!

Do you still talk to the person who hurt you the most?
yeah....for sure...

Have you ever made out in a library?
hmm...can't remember. in fact... it's been so long i barely remember makin out. HAHAHA.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
hmm.. think about going home!

Do you wake up cranky?
only when i don't get enough sleep and feel exhausted... hahaa.....