Love, Dawn♥

He said he would be back and we’d drink wine together (11)
He said that everything would be better than before (11)
He said we were on the edge of a new relation (11)
He said he would never again cringe before his father (12)
He said that he was going to invent full-time (10)
He said he loved me that going into me (9)
He said was going into the world and the sky (10)
He said all the buckles were very firm (8)
He said that the wax was the best wax (7)
He said Wait for me here on the beach (7)
He said Just don’t cry (3)

I remember the gulls and the waves (5)
I remember the islands going dark on the sea (9)
I remember the girls laughing (4)
I remember they said he only wanted to get away from me (13)
I remember mother saying: Inventors are like poets (11)
A trashy lot(4)
I remember she told me those who try out inventions are worse (12)
I remember she added: Women who love such are the worst of all (13)
I have been waiting all day, or perhaps longer. (12)I would have liked to try those wings myself

today just reminded me of stuffs.
stuffs i'm not really keen on remembering.
jus cos even tho i try to be strong n not let things get to me, sometimes it does. Even tho i wudn't change anything, it just makes me remember the good times and smile. mayb that's why i haven't felt hate yet. i get mad easily, but i haven't got mad yet. i act mad but then it's not real... i'm just, indifferent. and once in a long ass time, like today, i'll listen to Here We Are, and laugh. Nope, i never liked u, but we were friends, and friendship is real, and it means more than love.

anyway! my lil emo thingy is over... and wahahaha! today was both amazing and scary at the sametime. amazing cos i was really relaxed and managed to sleep in till 230 even tho my classes started at 8 am. lol. which meant that i skipped 2 out of 3 three classes ^^ AND... then PE class was indoors which was a great relief to me, and then i went to the guys' dorm and chilled straight till convocation time. and after convo, more chillin and dinner from china kit/chen. yeahhh~~!!

ok. and now someone just totally killed my happy mood.
FUCK.

u know what, who am i kidding? i'll fuckin swear if i want to, cos i'm already always the bad person anyway, which may be true. so why change it. YAY me, i'm getting right back in touch with my badass side. nobody's gon keep me under lock and key.

SCREW IT.
everyone. everything. every single thing that decides to give me shit for whatever their insipid retarded reasons.

kiss my ass if you're not fuckin happy with me.
i've finally got enuf of tryna please people.

i just realized..
i miss home very very much...

suddenly...

haa...

i miss my girls tatcha n yanting n sha.. [VERY FRICKIN MUCH]
i miss my duck and my prawns and those lil 'pets' of mine...
i miss my dog..
i miss my hamster...
i miss the public transportation.. [onli when u don't have any way of getting around will u appreciate it okay!!!]
i miss the never ending sunny beaches....
i miss not having to study...
i miss the AMAZING FOOD... [again, one CAN get tired of subway-ish stuff]
i miss my room... altho my dorm room is actually cooler =P

sniffs...

ok. time for class. today i hand up my research paper. SCARED AH!

G/eo/r'/ge He/r/b/ert- Virtue

Sweet day, so cool, so calm, so bright,
The bridal of the earth and sky:
The dew shall weep thy fall tonight;
For thou must die.

Sweet rose, whose hue, angry and brave,
Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye:
Thy root is ever in its grave,
And thou must die.

Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie:
My music shows ye have your closes,
And all must die.

Only a sweet and virtuous soul,
Like seasoned timber, never gives;
But though the whole world turn to coal,
Then chiefly lives.

MY IMITATION

Snow white beauty, like fresh clean snow,
The beauty of the innocent:
It is like a lamp set aglow;
You have been pure.

Old cathedrals, they stand so strong,
Within them, quiet reverence:
The worn pews that have seen no wrong,
You must keep pure.

Newborns, crying, hurled into dark sin,
They stay protected for some years:
The battle for their souls, who will win?
You must be pure.

So be strong, be steadfast, be you,
Let no one turn you from the truth:
But keep straight on in what is true,
You will be pure.

On Losing Ur Virginity....

it's a bad thing. unless you do it with the person you wanna spend ur life with.
i look down on people who are ashamed to call themselves a virgin.
there's nothing wrong with being innocent.
maybe you'll get teased for it, but that's only because other people envy your innocence.
because they know how much you have ahead of you that you can enjoy learning.
It's stupid to think it's shameful to be a virgin just because everyone else isn't one. it's very stupid. and very childish. and honestly i didn't think any of my friends are like that.
Yes, i'm a pretty open person... i don't mind talking about things like sex and related ISSUES with my best friends... i'm not the epitome of innocence, unfortunately. but i really respect people who retain innocence in this day and age. I laugh because i'm happy for you. I say it's cute because it really is. and i wish there were more such innocent people around. They will make great husbands and wives next time. it's not wrong to be pure, it is wrong to want to lose ur virginity just so that you'll be like everyone else. i say it proudly, that i'm a virgin. i wish i was purer, but whatever, time can't turn back, and i guess i'm pretty happy how i am now, but if i had a child... i'd want that girl to be as innocent as possible for as long as possible.

anyway. right now im just mad pissed.
because childishness always pisses me off.
it's not the innocence that does, it's the frickin childishness.

hotnessssss =P

of all asian girls, chinese are d hottest =P

modern china girlies =)

di is so radiant ^^

sexy shan2 jie and meself =)

ASIAN VESPERS

dave carryin the flag ^^

my research paper has stretched into it's tenth page. and i've hit and passed the 2000 word mark. YES.

m/y/ pa/pa/s w/a/l/t/z by theo/do/re roe/th/ke

The whiskey on your breath (6)
Could make a small boy dizzy; (7)
But i hung on like death: (6)
Such waltzing was not easy. (7)

We romped until the pans (6)
Slid from the kitchen shelf; (6)
My mother's countenance (6)
Could not unfrown itself. (6)

The hand that held my wrist (6)
Was battered on one knuckle; (7)
At every step you missed (6)
My right ear scraped a buckle. (7)

You beat time on my head (6)
With a palm caked hard by dirt, (7)
Then waltzed me off to bed (6)
Still clinging to your shirt. (6)

my imitation:

Pictures 'round my table
Hold dear faces smiling down;
Spin a real life fable:
Painted in my dear hometown.

Pictures of Family,
Smiling as the camera flashed;
Pictures of my Puppy
He's white and clean, just been washed.

Pictures of my best friends
So far and yet so near;
I see us holding hands
Three of them, friends so dear.

Pictures 'round my table
Filled with people I'm missing.
Pictures 'round my table
They watch me while I'm writing,

DA/VI/D/ASS/CHER/I/C/K IS COMING FOR PENTECOSTAL WEEK OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG AND HE'S GONNA BE GIVING TWO MEETINGS A DAY FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK AND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I'M GONNA ATTEND ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA i'm so deliriously happy...

HEY best friend!!!!!! you must go with me for all the meetings kay??? kay kay???? =D

oh man... i hope he's as good as he was when i heard his sermons online... i've been needing good sermons that actually talk about important and interesting things..... hahahahhaha it's hilarious how holy i seem right now but but but but but but but i'm so happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
HAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok ok ok time to calm down. i gots to take a nap before my 3 pm class.

im trying to write some stupid poetry imitation for lit and it's positively killing me!

grahhhhs.

poetry for me has to come when i have inspiration, not when i'm lacking sleep and have major projects niggling at the back of my mind!!!!!!

i have an annotated bibliography for world civ, then i have an accting team project that is majorly huge this time so i can't do it on my own which means i have to go thru the darn hassle of arranging study group meetings in the library with people i don't really care to work with. CRAP. at least the lit presentation is over. that was good...we had a good team. i screwed up on the day itself tho, cos i was so tired i forgot to bring my laptop which was what i was supposed to do, apparently. but since this is college, some random guy in the class had his lappy with him so we were saved. ah. curse lack of sleep. messes up my mind. anyway! then i have like, computer homework that has to be done by tomorrow and that is absolutely the most tedious thing ever. lastly, i have to complete and hand up my 2500 word research paper by thursday. argh! OH! and a/s/i/a/n/n/i/g/h/t is next saturday so we've been having crazy practise sessions for the dance which i'm getting pretty tooty sick of.

oh. and. im trying to stop swearing cos somebody doesn't like it =P and i promised to make that somebody happy so im gonna try. LOL.

but that's beside the point. now! about today. which was the most absofreakinlutely tiring sunday in this semester.
i woke up at 11, showered, then went to the Vm with Jaye to stock up on food. After that, went to the library and did my accounting hw, then took a nap there from about 315 to 4pm cos i felt nauseated. grahhh. my 'morning sickness' seems to be back. then i rushed back to my room and changed, went downstairs to the aerobics room to practise the dance a little on my own before the group practise at 5 pm. i was still dizzy....and the eternal spinning in the dance didn't help!

dance practise was a disaster...
we practised in the new gym from 5 to 6 pm, then went to the old gym to practise on stage at 6. supposedly the other part of the chinese group was supposed to be there cos it was a full dress rehearsal. but they didn't show up till 7, which was when WE FINISHED OUR PRACTISE. so after practising for two hours straight we're all pretty tired and strung out cos of short tempers and shit... soo there was a brief verbal altercation between S and XL... and we ended up staying yet another half hour for the so called dress rehearsal to come to our part so we cud dance once and then leave.

after that i went to dinner at KRs... eh, nana got my order wrong. tmd... after supper i was extremely tired so just went back to the room to cook more food, eat, then watch B/o.n.e.s then sleep. i slept till 1 am, then woke up to do my lit. i had to wait for inspiration....wait wait wait wait... and then finally when it came, i finished it in half an hour. hee ^^

i also drew up my weekly to-do list which gets more n more intense each time. im tryin to use words like INTENSE and CHALLENGING instead of depressing and impossible... hahahaha...

wo yao zuo kai xin guo. LMAO. right. dont ask me where THAT came from...

anyways!!!!! im exhausted.
gonna get ready to go to accting class, then have breakfast, then go to lit class, and then go to the library to print something which i need to rememeber to get. and then. sleep. yayys. till 3. which is PEAC class..... in which i have an F. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..... idk how i can get an F for a PE class luh. genius.... ^^

so yea that's my plan for tomorrow. after PE, i wanna sleep somemore. then i hope i dont have dance practise so i can do my computer homework. oh.. not to mention i have to read some emo tragic history book for tuesday's class.

and then tuesday i have to get started on my annotated bibliography as well as finish up my research paper. oh. AND write another poem.

wednesday i have to read from my fat history textbook and edit my hopefully finished research paper.

thursday i have to turn in my research paper, and write more lit. I wanna spend thursday evening with my bestie!! cos it's thursday nite and we gotta celebrate friday comin, yes?? hahaha...

and somewhere within this week i have to find time to do a mad longass accting team project. shitz. IDK HOW TO FIND TIME. cos i really need sleep. and i wanna spend time with friends. and and and and and ........

oh nevermind.

l/e/t/e/v/e/n/i/n/g/c/o/m/e/by j.a.n.e.k.e.n.y.o.n....

Let the light of late afternoon
shine through chinks in the barn, moving
up the bales as the sun moves down.

Let the cricket take up chafing
as a woman takes up her needles
and her yarn. Let evening come.

Let dew collect on the hoe abandoned
in long grass. Let the stars appear
and the moon disclose her silver horn.

Let the fox go back to its sandy den.
Let the wind die down. Let the shed
go black inside. Let evening come.

To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop
in the oats, to air in the lung
let evening come.

Let it come as it will, and don't
be afraid. God does not leave us
comfortless, so let evening come.

i was thinking of doing an imitation of this poem....but then i found a funnier one... HAHAHAHAHA...

l/o/o/k/i/n/g/a/t/e/a/c/h/o/t/h/e/r/by mu/r/i/e/l/ ru/key/ser

Yes, we were looking at each other
Yes, we knew each other very well
Yes we had made love with each other many times
Yes, we had heard music together
Yes, we had gone to the sea together
Yes, we had cooked and eaten together
Yes, we had laughed often day and night
Yes, we fought violence and knew violence
yes, we hated the inner and outer oppression
Yes, that day we were looking at each other
Yes, we saw the sunlight pouring down
Yes, the corner of the table was between us
Yes, bread and flowers were on the table
Yes, our eyes saw each other's eyes
Yes, our mouths saw each other's mouths
Yes, our breasts saw each other's breasts
Yes, our bodies entire saw each other
Yes, it was beginning in each
Yes, it threw waves across our lives
Yes, the pulses were becoming very strong
Yes, the beating became very delicate
Yes, the calling the arousal
Yes, the arriving the coming
Yes, there it was for both entire
Yes, we were looking at each other

yep. pornographic lit. lza an' i laughed our butts off at this. and i was like, i HAVE to imitate this. i HAVE to. hahahhahahaa. but my imitation is really sweet la... hahaha... im satisfied with it. post it up next time =) ciiiaoooo!!!!!!!!!!

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
whatcha think of my new skin huh???
mad bright, but anyways, i'll prolly change it once i get sick of the PINK! =D

today was pretty chill. slept SO much. catchin up on sleep i've been missing since like spring break... woke up at 6 pm, then cooked and went over cos guang and fish cooked too so we ate in ta.l.g.e.... jj and kw joined us for awhle too.

after dinner ran down to TS to give SS something, then went to talentnight. which was goooood, but way too short.

yep. then watched coupla CSI episodes. fun stuff.

back to the grind tomorrw =P

blahhhh

London by wi-ll-iam b-l-a-k-e

I wander thro' each charter'd street,
Near where the charter'd Thames does flow,
And mark in every face i meet
Marks of weakness, marks of woe

In every cry of every Man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in ever ban,
The mind- forg'd manacles i hear.

How the Chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackning church appalls;
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace walls.

But most thro' midnight streets i hear
How the youthful Harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born Infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the Marriage hearse.

my imitation

I sauntered down the promenade
Watching faces pass slowly by
Wond'ring what's behind each facade
Are they true or just a lie?

Some faces frown, some faces smile
Some say they are fine, some just cry
Moods change, things change, so volatile.
A smile- it hides the saddest sigh.

When they ask you "Hey, what's up?"
How many times do you hide?
Say you've got a half-full cup
When you're at life's lowest tide.

But now we should try honesty
And tell how we truly feel.
Learn too, sensitivity
And hear others silent appeals.

THIS POEM SUCKS. i need inspiration~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What school does the last person you kiss attend?
no school =)

Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?
definately =)

Are you really happy or are you just saying that?
i'm really happy. hahahah.

Where did you get your last bruise from?
from stumbling around in d hotel.. lmao

Have you ever thought you were gonna die?
Yeah! when that lil bitch drove the fuckin car and tried to remove the steering wheel cover at the same time. retard.

How do you feel about girls smoking?
i don't really like it. i don't really like smoking. but whatever you like i guess ^^

Have you ever recieved a D/F on your report card?
report card? nope. haha.

What are you currently hearing right now ?
Wo bu pei by zhou jie lunnn

Is it hard for you to get over someone?
Yes. frighteningly hard. depending on how much i like him.

If you married the last person you texted, would you be satisfied?
LOL. ashes????

Were you happy when you woke up today?
kinda, cos i had cute texts from a friend...

Do you keep a planner?
only around exam week.

What kind of mood are you in today?
An extremely hyper gotta-get-everything-done-and-then-it's-friday kinda mood,....

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
Called Red, and was like, ''hey sry i just woke up, waht's up girl??" LOL.

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
sleeping like a baby...

Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
prolly not. hope not. lol.

Do you love the last person who called?
of course. hehehe. love my friends.

Whats a fact about the last person who text message you?
he's gonna be 20 yrs old soon

What were you doing 30 min ago?
Chillin' in the library with shanshan and guang..

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
prolly my mom.

Will this weekend be a good one?
definately. i plan to catch up on SLEEP.

What's on your schedule for tomorrow?
Breakfast at 9 am, class at 10 till 11. then sleep. oh sweet sleep. lol. vespers at night.

Where did you last drive to?
i don't drive. i was last driven to the mall. lol.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
I didn't sleep at all last night. watchin movies wit ashes.

Do you miss anyone?
you! =)

Who was the last person you rode in the car with?
Fish and guang

What should you be doing right now?
Writing more poems for lit class tomorrow

Whats the 8th text message in your phone say?
are you tired? i don't have to sleep, i just lie on the bed untill 7 then go to breakfast. cause i still have class at 8. if u tired just go to sleep.

Who was it from?
jj

What kind of phone do you have?
two samsungs and one sony ericsson

Did you see the movie Twilight?
nope, heard it was kinda lame.

school has been mad busy...
sorry if i haven't been takin enough time to talk to you.
dan shi wo zhen de hao lei hao lei...

hope to call you soon =)

yeahh we rockin it out with slim SHADY. hahahaha

oh and i absofreakinlutely hate how i look in this picture. like shitz.

we were all freakiiiiin high in this picture,... HAHAHA.... yeahhhhh lighweights =P

i'm happy. =)

ooo and i got crazy pictures with my crazy ashes ^^

be (Happy), stay 'sane', study hard (I said this already, but no hard in repEating), keep away from little children, Eat well, sleep well...etc

im' bakkkkk

but im not necessarily ready to start studying again!

life is mucho weird and confusing for me right now...

but it's pretty damn fun. lmao.

yep. it's pretty. damn. fun.

so.

im...... well. im thinking. about this huge ass research paper that i have to deal with asap.

in about, two hours. so i oughta slp. lol.

anyway. about spring break... was a blur of night parties, bowling, eating, a trip to atl and another trip to gait.lin.bu.r. g. and of course much fun.

let's just say, i'm pretty maxed out party-wise for the next coupla weeks. hahahaa. enough is enough!