Love, Dawn♥

[Baby, i got something that i need to say
Before the rumors spread
I thought i'd be a man and tell you first
But i know it's gonna hurt..
Baby please let me explain..
it happened all of a sudden out of control..

She looked into my eyes just like you do
And i imagined she was you..

And now i gotta tell the truth,
with my right hand up...
And believe me when i say,
you don't wanna find out the harder way..]

fuckkk.
this song makes me wanna cry...

idk why.
thought i was over it.
lol.

well i guess i'm glad im not that hardhearted...

=)

oh. and im also super stressed.
ACCOUNTING.
i have, 1370 entries, to be completed by, TWENTY EIGHTH JANUARY.
also have, 3 huge ass assignments that are frickin hard, due first week of FEB.
3 tests, in three weeks, ON THE SAME SUBJECT.
ohhh. and not forgetting my oh so frickin lovely 800 word INTERIMREPORT.

sobs.

ok now im really gonna go cry.
T.T

oh well.

LIZA! your package came!!!!!!!! hahahhahaha. omigosh i laughed so hard when i saw how u wrapped it like, CRAZY, with tape... kekek =) that's totally you, darlin! and the chinese cutouts! they are so hilarious!!!! pretty too! in a raelly traditional way =D loved em....

so anyway! i got this pressieeeee from me exroommate and lover Missy liza tang... LOL.... Tank, Keychain, Bracelet, MASCARA, photoframe wit pic... and AWESOME CARD. i love cards. especially ones with lotsa writing in them! hahahahha. just so sweet and touchin.. =P so this christmas i've gotten two awesome adorable amazing applaudable cards! hehe. crazy in love. and. the whole thing cracks me up cos it reminds me so much of her... from the Tape suffocation to the carefully wrapped individual items... to the PAYLESS SHOEBOX! kekeke. don't think i didn't notice =D it's so adorable. AHDORAHBLE... !

i shan't rave anymore before i make people jealous ;) ahahahhaa j/k

anyway. im feeling blessed. so i tihnk it's time to start part of my yearly THANKSGIVIN list. i think we asians don't show love.affection.appreciation enough. so i've been doing this for a couple of years... just to get it out of my system. and to make people gag. =D but seriously, this one's gonna be combined for 2008 and 2009 cos i didn't do one last year!

First shoutout goes out to my PARENTS.
Cos they're amazing parents. yeah they get overprotective and naggy and annoying and even embarrassing but u know what? when it comes down to it, when you're sick or in trouble or just plain want someone familiar and safe.. they're there. =) and they don't hate you no matter what you do. even though it's easy to forget. they love me. and heck, i love em!!! here's to you, mom n dad. [not that they'll ever see this but HECK.. hahaha] and my greatest fear is to lose them. yep. they're the mostest important to me, and im NOT going to FORGET THAT. =)

Next up is.... my girlfriends and boyfriend. and since i dun wanna be les, imma start with my BOYFRIEND!
we've been through...SO much. and after all i've said and done, he still loves me, always there for me, practically never gets impatient even when i'm mad stupid.. haha.. Darlin, i think you really do bendover backwards for me, and im going to appreciate that. =) Thank you for giving US another try. and we're gonna make it work. and Thank you for sitting with me that once when i was supersuper sick and couldn't breathe and u just sat there holding my hand so that i could see you when i woke up and wouldn't panic.. and i asked u to lean back but you wouldn't cos you said you wanted to watch me sleep and u knew i wanted to hold on to you.. and thanks for my handphone, how you found it even though it was a dying model, haha! cos you knew how much i loved it. and thanks for the freakin awesome holiday..... ;) and for being mine. i wanna go on, but it might get too mushy....for my dwindling readership.. AHHAHA! anyway. I want to be the besttttt girlfriend for YOU. ilu baby!

aight! YANTING...
Girl, there's wayyy too many times you've been there for me that i can't even count. The most recent one of course is what i wanna thank you for, that even though you were in a horrible mood yourself, you still took me out to sing K cos you knew how much i needed it. There has never been once that i've needed a shoulder to cry/laugh on and you've not been there. and you totally GET me. If ever i'm not there for you, i give u full permission to kick my ass with ur stinky feet. LMAO. but seriously, i want to be there for you like you've been there for me. Thank you for my awesome polaroid camera [which is addictive] and the bestest 18th birthday celebration ! we have FUN when we're tgh. and lastly, but pretty damn importantly, thanks for being a good influence. Like, with ur anti-drinking anti-random making out anti-everything bad attitude, it rubs off! hahahaha. but i still think you should start dancing. WHICH REMINDS ME. thanks for christmas eves 2008 AND 2009! best ones in my life. i wanna know you, for the rest of my life =)

TATCHA!
girl, you're the coolest thai ever. hahahah! THANK YOU for the photo shoot, it meant SO MUCH to me.. and him... HAHAHAHAHA. and im thinking it must have been freaky at some points but thank you so much for helping me with that. and all our shopping trips and yogurt trips and pure girly stuff outings... they're memories that i keep IN ME. lol. i love how everytime you give me a gift, there's crazy small writing on the bag.. so i can't throw the bag, i just have to keep it somewhere! lol! Thank you for always being there when i sometimes finish work and just need some mature company for a change, and i know that i can count on you to be at home and come out to meet me, even if it's just sitting at the busstop like a coupla homeless ghetto bums! We still need to go 'grab more balls' girly! i'm looking forward to 2010 with you!!! =)

LIZA! should prolly go here but i'm putting all the AMERICAN people in another post... so... hang on a lil while sweetie ;)

DUCK DUCK!
i don't like japanese, but i like you =D since young i've been taught that our little feathered friends are meant to be be our FRIENDS.... and so when i saw you, i decided to ignore you.. until you beat me at english and well, i HAD to talk to u then... hahahahah jk. anyway. it's always damn natural when i meet up with you, even if we haven't met for MONTHS... we have fun, ya? Thanks for making me laugh like a hyena everytime we talk.. and thanks, cos you're gonna meet up with me soon, ya??? anyway, here's wishing you all the best in 2010, may you prosper and have many little ducklings =) QUACKKKKKKKKKK!

aaaaah.
okay. just lost my mood to write.
tomorrow i shall continue.

Coming up soon....
shaaaa
jeereh
jassy
agnes
misssstan
mrrrrrjacob

Liza
Ashes
Shanny
DaGe
Shifu
Eli [omg i can't believe it too LMAO]
Other random people who shall not be named =P

okay. so before i sleep. i was thinking i wanna write somethingssss..

u know how i feel weak after coming back home? like. sometimes i miss being baddass and not caring about what people think cos they didn't really matter? and after coming back i've had responsibilities like none other.. and needed to be rational, steady, etc? well. i think i just need to let it all freakin go. if i want to do something, i'll do it. if i want to say something, i'll say it. and if i want to just stay in the whole day and curl up sleeping on my bed, I"LL DO IT.

i was looking thru some old conversations on my lappy... seriously amusing... my exroomie is such a random freak of nature when she's wasted. HAHAHAHA LIZAAAA.. and i just had such a good laugh... =P made me start thinking again..

like, i think i do regret some things in life. and prollly my one regret is ever wasting time on he-who-shall-not-be-named in SYAS. i mean honestly, what the heck was so great??? just a normal person. or mayb a little abnormal even. so heck, why'd i screw so many things up, and lose so much face just cos of him??? and that my friends, is the one thing i have come to realize that i regret.

and that's saying alot.. cos i've had crushes on worse/freakier people... and still haven't regretted them. or maybe i do. IDK. but i honestly wasted the most time on him. and to what end?? seriously. sheesh. im not being like, mean just cos... because for real i think he's a decent human being.. i just don't understand why i was so disgustingly morbidly stubbornly intrigued with him! i just don't. hahahha.

and as for the other regret i told my bf about at dinner, sweetie.. i think i don't regret that now cos u know what? the whole experience taught me that... UR THE ONLY MC I CAN LOVE. hahahahahhahahahaha. jk jk. it taught me that i need to be careful of being manipulated verbally by guys. yep.

so there we go. my christmas confession. =P next long post will be about all the people i wanna thank in the years 2008 AND 2009 cos last year i didn't do it. hahahhaha.

PEACE !

so christmas was good. =)

spent it with my family, relatives, and for the first time ever, BABY BOY +) haha. happinesssss.

Woke up this morning still crazily exhausted from last night. lmao. woke up at....10 30... -.- and i slept at 5 plus la. my legs were aching like mad..... eyes didn't wanna open.
but i got up, gave my parents their xmas gifts, and brought the pooch down. then baby came, and i showered, we exchanged gifts, and thennnnnnn i was rushed out before i could put on makeup or even a cute outfit la. i was wearin this dress thingy.... boring...=P but who cares.!!!!! yayy.

did my makeup when we reached the hotel. anyway.

after the buffet lunch , we went to SCC.... played two games of bowling and then played basketball/pool/table tennis/ etc etc...
baby played two vs one in basketball with my two dude cousins and still won hands down even tho they were taller. kekekee. arf arf ! [LOLS LIZA I KNOW HOW TO SOLVE THAT PROBLEM I TOLD U ABOUT. and the solution is NOT xtacy... HAHAHA] totally hot, babe!!! =)

then dinner.
sickening char kwey teow... =.=

hit home and felt damnned exhausted. baby was the best part of today i think. of cos seeing my relatives after so damn long was also great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaa......

gifts?

From mom .. cute korean makeup remover..
From dad.. baby mouse!!! pink! super cute for my laptop! =)
From baby.. a bag! LOVE IT. pics next time. only thing is it doesn't go with ALL my outfits so i can't use it all the time. lol. and a white scarf that i totalllly love from CottonOn.. !!!!!! woot woot!

From val's family.. ang pow and a gold pouch bag. hahaa. the bag's a bit random.. but love the thought. =D

From my mom's younger brother's family.. bath gift set and a BG tshirt! loved.

From my mom's younger sister's family.. CHOCOLATES. lols. bringing to church tmrw i think.

oh. and from my gramma.. CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT EARRINGS. which she then proceeded to make me wear for the lunch. hahahahahahha. super cute but made me look like a christmas tree =P

anyhoo!

i'm mad tired!!!!
pictures tomorrow!

maybe.

so i guess the universe is tellin me to stay home tonight! hahahhaa.
goes to show the more u want/need something the more it's harder to get.
blahh.

oh oh oh and i saw smthing really interestin. there's this drug, and it's really weird! it makes u sleepy, so u want it. but it has bad side effects.. like hyperventilation and and heart palpitations. basically it raises ur body functions' rates till you get tired an fall asleep. so basically u don't know how to deal with it. and the dosage is large for such a strong medication too.. like 23 milligrams each time....
LOL. wikipedia.

oh damn -.-'''

imma go watch lotsa lotsa ncis and eattttt. LMAO.

oh! they DO answer their phones. kekekek..

anywayy..

just some random thoughts. =p

this time last year was a horrible day.
well.
for me it wasn't.
LOL.
i was.... trying to get hammered with tatcha darlin =) HAHAHAHA. tryin cos two shots and two beers don't do much to me.
except prolly cause me to make bad decisions like calling people out to pick me up. lmao. wow. if only i was psychic.

well.

i really do feel like goin kbox again.
anyone up for it?
a bit late tho...

bad day to stay home..
really...
=P

lookit...!
the weather is so nice outside...

why arent people picking up? ='(

very very exhausted. and kinda stresssed.
next good thing in my life is gon be christmas eve with yahnting!!!!!!!!!!!!! yayys =)
lookin forward.. even tho i dk what we gonna do... hahahahha.

today was good too.
idk what the future will be..
but we can only deal with the present.
and i guess i decided to follow my heart not my head..
cos when they both start conflicting it's really hard to make decisions..
and..
well..
i guess i hope i did the right thing.

time will tell =)

night night!

super exhausted. was like, energetic just now... but i kinda wilted.... LOL.

today was surreal, mane....
woke up... lay in bed... and was debating whether or not to get up when i remembered i was supposed to meet yahnting for breakfast!!!!!!
so i m still freakin late, and take a cab down la... so we reached about the same time... haha =)

had mac'd breakfast... she was grumpy=D hahahahahahhaa. we suit each other really well girly..
anyway. after that she drove us down to churchy .. i didn't sleep AT ALL during the sermon. amazing. cos ... i didn't wanna be rude. =P and after service i went to shake hands with the speaker n translator and ignored the fool. HAHAHAHHA. im a badd girl. =.='''

second time i've done that actually.

so let's see. aft that... i left with my parents to my mom's friend's house to have an early christmas lunch. yeah. and i became a kid for like the whole freakin afternoon. highlights were playing with icechips and eating them and shoving them down the adults' necks. yeppers. fun shit. =) and i wanted to sleep so badly but the kids didn't wanna sleep. but in the end i fell aslp on the floor.....while they were talkin about legos.. -.- but it was like for 5 mins... hahaha.... and we had sundown worship... and in the middle of it yahnyahn messages me ! and's like, so are we gonna sing k????? and im like, i thought u no moood?? no, she wu suo wei... hahaha.. so im like YAYYYYYYYY let's go. cos i really really wanted to go sing k. hahahahahha. sry im a bit siao siao still. so i got dropped at suntec, and walked the SUPER FUCKIN LONG walkway to cityhall mrt...and then u know how orchard road's changed so much right. when i got there i didn't know where the partyworld outlet was! so i asked yt where it was near. n she said fareastplaza. so i walked to fareastshoppingcenter. and when i got there i realized it looked totally wrong!!!! so i asked some hotel staff, and they told me to turn around one hundred eighty degrees and go to shawtowers...... -.- i was like, WTFH hahahhaha. so i walk lo. walk walk walk. reach there and wait. wait wait wait. cos parking was full .. haha.

K was amazing. it usually is. haha. 3 hours and we were still going strong huh. like, i heard lotsa new cool songs... hahaha and refound some old ones =) oh and yt can almost rap. ALMOST. hahahahhahahahaa. and i suck at duets. and so yea... we sang n sang n sang and laughed alot. cos i promised i wudnt cry. i like crying in partyworld idk why. =P

anyway. ride back home was kinda a disaster. cos yanting had to pee. and we got lost. idk how we ended up in yishun. and so visited et. -.-''' speechless. and im a direction idiot so was of completely NO HELP AT ALL. hahaha. kinda proud of it actually hahahahaa jk... yup. took one hr to get from orchard to sengkang. world record. snail cuda crawled faster. hahaha. so sorry for the trouble girly. reallie. hahahahaa. but sry la still feel like laughing ^^

today was INSANE.
hahahha.
nonstop since 6 50am i've been up n runnin....
okay not running but u get the idea =)

went to school for business law seminarrrrr, three hours of brain numbing accent. hahahaa. and then kaya toast and a curry puff and half a cuppa joe.

after school, rushed off cos i thought the busride on 21 would take a looong time. but it took only a half hour. =) awesomeness. and i dropped like at this super far busstop and walked for 10 mins to get to cityplaza. called lizazaza to say hihi =) awwwww missed that chica!

finally met ting and ate 4 bucks worth of ban mian. oh gosh. thinking of it now, IM HUNGRY BLOODY ASS.
ate slowly and happily and munch munch munch with ooooooo longan fruit drink =) LOVED IT.

after that it was rainin, so lazy me decided to take a cab down to ikea... yes, cabbing IS my guilty pleasure.. but... after paying 22 USD for a frickin 20 minute ride, COMFORT cabs are cheap! lol. anyway. got there, and mucked around in the aisles.... hahahaha... let me tell u, it's FUN torturing the heavy ass sittin on ur cart. =D yknow, like braking suddenly, crashing into walls... etc.... ^^ i bought scented candles and coasters for gifts. ;) the scented candles are awesomeeeee. one chocolate cake, cinnamon roll, and cheesecake. yum. she bought batteries.

after ikea we walked across the road to GIANTTTTTT. whoooo. haven't been there in about 3 years. cos the last time i went i wasn't attached to shipengy =) she bought soup. or zuppa.... as we say in italian. =P
oh and she bought garbage bags. don't ask me why. AND balloons. those long ones u twist into animal shapes which then go POP in your face. lol. im balloonophobic.

took a shuttle down to tampines mrt.....bought pins and a pencil from urbanwrite... ate yoghurt ....awesomeness..and rested our feeeeeet. got dettol from cold storage. apparently it can be used to clean stuff and surfaces and stuff. hahahahhaa. and then went to homefix! got this awesome thingy i can use to attach stuff to the wall. and she bought two and got one freeeeee!!! lol. lastly, we go buy her phone battery. and then, move over to tamp mall. up to this point, im in freakin high heeels. and i mean high. my highest pair so far. and THAT'S HIGH.

so my feet are cramping like hell, and when we finally find Cottonon, i buy like , a pair of black ballet flats =) love em. buy two bandage skirts , one black and one leopard printed. and two tanks. pink and grey. love love love!!!!! in total my spree cost like 50 bucks. tingster bought 2 tanks too ^^

and then we finally head home.
super busy super cool day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love you darlin ~~ ;)

So. i've been like reading this friend's rap/poems/lyrics? idk man.. but it's deep. i mean, it's grammatically horrible, but the references are like, wayyyy out. deep shite. hahaha. and it's like geniosity, how the ideas are linked... totally different way from how i look at things. dat's why it's refreshin. =) and given how MUCH i hate grammar being broken, dis be high praise commin from me. -.-'''

[Liza go check it!! if u haven't already seen, at best it's deep at worst it's entertaining. HAHAHA. omg and Lee can write too~ not as gd tho =P hahahaha...]

anyway. feelin marginally better. =)
class wasn't horrible. and there's no more class till jan. so now i can focus on school =)
and sleep.
daddy's wantin me to slp now.
sheesh.
i just ate not long ago....

i wish i could rap.
i wish i could spin deep thoughts and make them sound cool. ahhahaha
but i get headaches just from readin...
let's not get started on writin...

T.T

school school school school.
work work.

i wanna not work on mondays.
it sucks.

was dizzy yesterday.. weird shit... maybe i just got off the wrong side of the bed.
so now im resting at home instead of chillin out with ting... -.-'''
sadness.

anyway.
homework's comin in now.
but no mood to do.
tired.
and hungry.
gonna eat now~~~

hahahahaha

i happened to take this cool pic.... AAHAHa....

before i got freakin sick?

mental psychosis.....

so like this is the worst long weekend in history... LOL...and only now im feeling sparkly enough to blog.... ^^

met yanting on wednesday after school for banmian and yoghurt. ahhh bliss.... i had some really stressful things on my mind that were making me confused.... and she helped me figure it out! mucho thanks and love my girl ;P went back home carrying my freakishly heavy textbooks.

and that night i started having difficulty breathing.

next morning was still not breathing well....so asked my mom what to do. she took me to the government clinic, which was basically useless cos the bloody doctor was like, ''oh you don't have asthma but here's some medication for asthma'' bloody fools the lot of 'em... so he gave me like the puffy thing to relieve asthma and steroids and cough syrup, which i couldn't use cos it makes me sleepy...it has CODEINE...creepy stuff. and anyway after the last robotrip im like freaked out about cough syrup. lmao. SO. i buy breakfast with baby boy and head home.... walked rafiel, and ate breakfast. attempted to anyway. couldn't finish. first warning sign, no? nooooo... i still go shower and start putting on makeup. by which time im huffing and puffing like some ssuper old lady... LOL... end up going to school and having a shit time of it.... and my heartrate's super high cos i puffed the stupid thingy twice in less than 4 hours.

anyway. moms picks me up after class and we go to ANOTHER doctor, private one this time... and he's like, oh yeah, you're wheezing. so he gives me this OTHER puffy thing that i use in his office for like ten minutes, and that pushes my heart rate up EVEN higher. damn. so im around like 130? hahahah.... funny feeling...

go home, and have a shit night. so does rafiel, cos i can't carry him like i usually do and he gets stressed out... and pees on the freakin sofa. uh huh.

friday morning i wake up still heehawing and so by late afternoon moms once again decides to bring me back to that doctor....and he gives me the puffy thing for another ten mins... and this time he's like, ''wow your heart rate's really high''....and so im like yeah okay, i go outside his office and immediately feel like puking.... ahhh. and this is where i learn that low blood sugar+high heart rate= VERY BAD. LMAO. so i lie down outside the poor doctor's office scaring his patients away. hahahahha. and then moms gives me soya milk to up the blood sugar, grampa goes pee, and we're up and off. get home, watch monster Inc for 20 mins, and then it's sundown...... ladidaaaa....

but i slept well last night... getting better ... YAYYY....

ahhh....

still having slight difficulty breathing....

hope i get well by monday?

Cheerio~~~~