Love, Dawn♥

Today!! Went to lavender, then bugis, then novena. Tuition for 3 hours. Not as tiring as yesterday's tuition tho!! =)

Ate a subway cookie for breakfast, half a plate of char kwey teow and half a cup of sugarcane for lunch, and 3/4 a regular KOI and half an icecream for dessert. So sad had to throw awway the other half of my icecream cuz i was too full to finish it! Dinner wassssss kwey chapp and fruits!

not a very successful diet-ing day but i think i walked enough to burn off the calories! hahaha. freaking exhausted this whole week!!

Meeting devinna tomorrow. CAN'T WAIT!! wanna see my chola. hehe. =)

Tat'ch is still at her damn chalet. andddd yt is..well i met YT yesterday for banmian! oh which reminds me!!

Yesterdayyyy i went for tuition, around 3 plus...started at 4, ended at 630...moseyed down to payalebarrr to meet my cuppycakegumdropcandycane BFF for dinner. Walked around to lose our food babies after that. =) and then she sent me to my 'home' in Tampines! hehe.

Yesss. Friday... hmmm. Friday. I think i should stay at home. i'm so exhausted and yet i've done absolutely NO school work for next week. im pretty sure i have to study something..just not sure what.. so yes. friday and sunday are gonna be my study days!! =)

i wanna see someone on Monday, cuz i'm free. but. hmm. idk. haha.

[If the world would just let be BREATHE... and stop pulling in so many different directions.... Maybe I'll be able to find out what I really want, what I really need.]

I have to say boy,
You're not just another cute toy,
Cos i've tried to avoid it but it just is
Here's what i have to say, all i have to say is this..
You were my wake up call,
You caught me right before my fall.
If i had never loved you I might have loved another
Never would've had a happily ever after.

LOLS i found this ...something i wrote like... last year?
I miss that contentment.

Today's going great tho... woke up late, tended the dogs.. then watched Nikita epi 3, and made lunch for dads n me. Lunch was.....alright. hahahahahhaa. Thinking of taking a nap now...

zzzZzzZzzZZZZZzzz

Thomson after like 3 weeks! missed it..strangely! and PrFoo's accent isn't so strong now..so i'm happy. Communion too. Didn't sleep at all thru the whole service!

After church was lunch with yt, yangyang and dadda. banmian! Super full! then went homeeee, courtesy of yt's AHEM...which was super paiseh cuz i m very PAISEH when ppl send me home. I mean, public transport is convenient....driving me home isn't convenient !! paisehpaiseh. But really helped alot la, cuz by the time i got home, i was ready to sleep! and i slept very nicely for about an hour plus! Before i had to get up and meet jassy downstairs.. then we drove to Punggol End and met YT and Sacrificial lamb! was gonna shoot the SUNSET, but it was cloudy we couldn't find the damn SUN! mannnnnnn. Have to go again. which is no big burden cuz it's super near my house and i lovelovelove that beach. xD

Took awesome jumpshots. for the FIRST time ever! and GY found crabs...that he decided to carry around.. and kiss and hug and... okay i'm just kidding. but he did carry the crabby around.

After all that activity [i was super hyper cuz when i woke up from my nap i ate a chocolate bar xD ] we went to ECP to eat dinner and take pics..but in the end we didn't take many pics cuz it was real dark! hahaha. But we did ask this guy to help us take polaroids! hehe. =)

Honestly? Today was real fun..cuz there was no pressure no weirdness no stressful people around. just plain old relaxing fun with people i'm comfortable with. Like i've known jassy for 5 years? yt for like 3 yrs and she's my bfffffffff =D and yangyang is just a wooly sheep! so like, it was really chill and stress-free! =) Thanks you guys. Made my night.

SO! now a new week starts! and i'm gonna hope it's awesome =) Monday, tuesday, wednesday, FULL. and i havent added in work yet. Not sureeee if i have work, gotta check! lolls.

I figure, one day I’ll get a knife in my back and it won’t be all that much of a surprise. its okay…still gotta believe in people, still gotta believe in friends... =D

As long as there’s no blood on MY hands I guess. cuz if I have an opinion about you, I’ll either tell you or show you thru my attitude. So think about this next time anyone wants to complain about me being a bitch. At least you can TELL I’m a bitch, right?

Anyway today was a superrrr nice way to start my holidays!!!!! With my test over. I think it went pretty alright…slightly painful for the head, but alright. Heading home for indian dinner courtesy of mom. Yum. XD surprises me how I can like the food but have a really hard time with their smell. Hmm. Which reminds me! Haven’t felt nausea in the last 24 hours!!! Really glad. Hopefully my stomach can start getting stronger now! Still maintaining my 48 status…tryna push it down to 45….but its SO DAMN HARD! I either have to stop eating completely, or get really really sick then maintain the resulting weight. Being anorexic is impossible cuz I’m not THAT obsessed yet, and being bulimic isn’t possible either cuz I hate wasting food. Sooo yep. Gotta do this the natural way. haaaa.

Contemplating going on a raw food diet for next week...since it's holidays.. but duuuuude i realllly dont like raw food. Like it's literally ALL VEGETABLES. i mean i like lettuce and tomatoes and carrots...but.... for every single meal????? Gotta think about that.

just found this childhood book of mine that i've been looking for for MONTHS! It's a picture book with a song at the back..and i wanted to score for the song!! cuz it's really sweet and makes me remember happy times. hehe. Gonna play the song n maybe post it up here... MAYBE.... gonna TRY to post up tatcha n my Chubby Bunny video!!! Although i think it's toooooo big a file.

Saw some pictures today that made me feel happy and sad at the same time. weird. I dont know how the human body can do that. it's like, i miss you so so much as a friend... and im so happy that you're happy and all... but a part of me wants to know what it's like to lead your kind of life. Like, the road untravelled, you know? how it's like to just be able to be with the one you love and start a family. and it makes me sad that we're no longer friends. pfft. oh well! Life's like that. hahaha~

SO! I just watched some old videos of mine! hahah heard shanshanjie's voice! miss that girl soooo damn much. lol. i wihs i had more videos of every one of my friends! so i can watch it when i miss em. :'(

Time for bed. toodles~!

There's a limit to everything. and if you dont know the limit? Imma have to school ya.

ANYWAY!
=)
yesterday celebrated my 'birthday' with C, K, L, and R at Spaggeddies at OC... shit i forgot Kuntadi doesn't eat western food.. should have chosen to go to Garuda instead. hahaha.
Ate sizzlelini! Dammmn i wanna go there again! hahaha.. mad fun luh. they got me a C&K bag for my birthdayyy mad touched and happy :) Brought it to school today!! Then we went to ...... TAKE NEOPRINTS! first time in like, 4 years??? mad cute. scanning them in soon. anyway! went home and crashhhhheddddd cuz i was super tired on only about 3 hrs of sleep.

hmm what happened today? nth much...had a really good rest last night...woke up in almost the same position as i fell aslp in, that's how tired i was! late to my first class but C was wit me so we were late tgh.. hahhaa bought GongCha [bubble tea] which was awesomeeee. Stayed awake thru both classes which was even more amazing..

What did i eat today? Bubble tea, wholemeal bread with vegan tuna [courtesy of mom] andddd then mini cup noodles for dinner+cheese fries.

The cheese fries was the worst....huge amounts of calories. Nevermind. Tomorrow i'll be at home.. so it's gonna be vegan day! lols. Test at 5 pm tomorrow.. hope auditing mid sem goes well!!! It was supposed to be at 7pm, which meant i could defer it.. but then they moved it up to 5pm so now i have to take it tomorrow. dayumnnnn.

Next week is holidays! Hope it goes well!!! Gonna meet up with a bunch of ma darlins...

I've given up fighting nature for the last 48 hours.. lets see how it goes. im just toooooo tired. End of story. lols.

Today!!! Woken up by momma and had a realllllllyyyy weird conversation with her. We started off with house chores that needed to be done, then it somehow went on to making sure I didn't have AIDS, and later progressed to delve into human dignity and pride and how my dad's been listenin to me on the phone at night. -_-''' Wow. SO i woke up, hours later, did house work...tidied my room... then read my assignment questions and ate breakfast/lunch. [chocolate cake+oranges+dao huey.] Then it was time to get ready to meet duckers and tatcha at CQ.
It was so damn funnnn to meet both of them again... managed to buy our food at the taiwanese food fair before the major part of the crowd arrived... ate two servings of chou dou fu and one serving of cold noodles. mmmm mmmm. Felt a bit like throwing up cuz of the chou dou fu though!!! Stinks to high heaven. But felt like eating it anyway =D

Made me remember the last time it was a double date and ET n I liked CDF and we ate it. but YT n SP hated it so i was like "baby kiss meeeeeee". and he's like "no way in hellllllll". hahahahahahha! It was so retarded. ahhh old times.

anyway!! then we went to liang court cuz i wanted to hunt down my ma la tang... but i cudn't!! cuz the damn store didn't sell ala carte ma la tang. Shite. need to go down to GEYLANG to eat it. T.T and i still dont have the damn address. hmmm. OKAY. so then we went back to Central and T bought candyyyy and we watched BigButt lady and her class do basic hiphop at N studio. HAHAHAHa. it felt evil laughing at them but wth... its not like i dont laugh at myself when i dance too so it's aight =)

Planning to take a secret dance class with tatcha darlin. =D Can't wait to er...break my neck... lmao!

So anyway thanks to Chacha n duckduck,
Yay.
This 21st i didn't cry...
much anyway.
xD
Guess i used up my quota of waterworks during my birthday and his birthday.
Foolishness.
I did get emo tho.... cuz as usual i was thinking things thru...and well i was talking with Tatcha and duckers today... and this mornin i was verbally slapped in the face by my mom... and just on friday night by AA... so i've been struggling ever since Fri...

idk.
Basically i get so mad at myself because i realized, no matter what, even tho my best friends say that he lied.. and Chacha's like 'duhhh u believe the girl NOT the guy' and i once thought so myself.. but i know that deep down inside..i myself don't believe it. As in, i dont believe he lied. and i dont know why but i just can't. Hate myself for it sometimes. Cuz it's so damnned illogical to believe someone when... everyone u respect doesnt? and i hate how i keep finding reasons and ways to excuse whatever it is that i get mad at him about. You lie to me? it's okay, cuz thats what everyone does anyway. You dont tell me? It's okay, cuz u didn't wanna hurt me. i dont bloody know. My head hurts my heart hurts my whole body is just soo damn tired of trying to sort out my own emotions/figure out what i want.

It's time to do my damn auditing. Seriously. Signin off now luvs =)

and now i have to make birthday goals/resolutions/thingamajigs!!

I need 19 of them.

hmmmm...

1. I want to be Connected. and that's all im gonna say on this. =p

2. I want to be a better daughter. Every year i understand more and more how much my parents love me and how much they have to put up with! lols.

3. I want to be a better friend. Sometimes, it's easy to lose track of how you treat those close to you. I want to stay aware always. and treasure my friends always. =)

4. If i'm ever in another relationship this year... i want to be a better girlfriend. More understanding and more lovingggg.

5. I want to be skinnier... seriously, i got fat since going to America but these thighs have GOT TO GO!

6. I want to...find back the me that i was in 2004-2005... The me that was still relatively un-jaded, un-disillusioned, the me that never knew what it was like to FEEL betrayed.. the me that would trust anyone super easily. Why would i want to find that me? Because i think i've become too jaded... sometimes i think it's better to walk around with a good perception of the world and just be surprised when something bad happens, rather than to go thru life believing the worst will happen... you know? That's just my choice anyway. haha =)

7. I want to get better grades. They've been slipping. strangely, not being in a relationship has a worse effect on my grades than being in a relationship. -_-''' time t step up my game yo!!

8. I want to learn dance...and yoga... my body need flexibility and rhythm!!!!

9. I want to write more. more more more! Havent had enough creative writing ever since leaving high school.

10. I want to be a better tutor. Sometimes after tuition i have that crappy feeling that i've just wasted two hours of their time simply because i wasn't able to GET THROUGH. There's gotta be a failproof method for tutoring. there has GOT to be. and imma find it.

11. I wanna be a better organizer and housekeeper. my room can reallyyyy devolve into soemthing resembling a rat's nest. smh.

12. I want to be more sociable. hahahaha! Sometimes i'm so lazy to interact with people im not close to. maybe it's time to learn.

13. I want to be less of a bitch. why? Cuz i realized sometimes when i get too used to being a bitch it spills over into my relationships and i end up hurting people i care about.

14. I wanna drink more water. It sounds stupid.. but i honestly feel superduper dehydrated like 80% of the time..it's just i keep forgetting to drink water. lols!

15. I wanna save more $$. HAHAH! Soooo... i spend alot. No idea how, but i do. and daddy keeps nagging me to save. so i should. hahah!

16. I wanna go to america and visit my lovelies there before i turn 20!~

17. I want tooooo start playing the piano again. Need to get my piano tuned up too.

18. I want to sleep earlier....i've been lacking in sleep for the last two years. yes it's been that long. Time to start sleeping.

19. I want to keep improving to become a better person overall. Yes. I do. =) Humans can never reach perfection, and once you stop pushing yourself to improve, that's when you die. hahaha!

DONE!
So there're my 19 goals for my new year of life!!!!
Time for bed!!!
I'm passing out sitting up. hahahaha.

These past three days have been lovely.

Started off Wednesday by skipping class and going to USS with Miss LYT!!! Her birthday present to me was a full day of fun and picture taking at universal studios singapore!!! Another first time for us... x) memories like these last a lifetime!! ON TOP OF THAT, it was a lovely day. Rainy morning but gorgeous afternoon and evening! And she treated me to sushi after too. tsk tsk. Next date? 6th Oktoberr!!! xD

Thursday, my actual birthday, started out crappily cuz i had to study for a stats test and i just CUDN'T study! believe it or not i was too emo to study. lmao. I kept trying to remember the happiness of Wednesday but it doesn't really work when you're faced with an empty house and 12 chapters of statistics to study. lol. But my day brightened considerably when momma came home with aunty agnes to pick up Lukie to go to the vet.. they gave me a card and a prune cake!!! The prune cake was....a...joke.... hahaah!! But i ate a slice, plus 5 slices of pizza.. 0.O papa john's pizza in Southern's still the best pizza i've had so far though :( haha! Headed down to school...and forgot to bring my calculator and pencil case!!!! How does one take a bloody test without a calculator and pencil case????????????????? So after about a minute of panicking, i managed to borrow a calculator and found a pen in my bag. Thank goodness i always leave at least one pen in every one of my bags. heh. Len was soo sweet she gave me a huggg and wished me happy birthday! hahaha =D then went to tell everyone we talked to that it was my hari jadi -_-''' embarrassing! lols. Had fun during class [failed the test im pretty sure] cuz i bullied my classmate....and oooo i brought baby boo the panda to class with me and annoyed everyone by shoving it in their faces. ahhaha!!!!! xD then after class.... [three hours of me impatiently waiting for it to be over] i finallly headed down to TPY central to meet someoneeee. and omigoshhh i totally didn't expect anything!!! i thought we were just gonna meet up for a drink or dinner or smth... but he got me my super favorite cold noodles from aljunied!!! and i HATE going to geylang/aljunied area on my own and like no one would go with me.. so i was so freaking happy that i could eat my favorite food without actually having to go GET IT. ahhahaa. And he got me a polar mini cake...with a power ranger design. -_-''' but it was my first real cake [prune cake DOESN'T COUNT!!] so i was really happy. bought me a bag of snacks like pocky and hellopanda and my favorite san zha [haw berries] and m&ms! and a rose. hahaha. The rose is kinda confusing. 0.- so anyway it was a really gorgeous way to end my birthday. took a bus ride home.. and cut my ACTUAL birthday cake with my parents!! poor daddy was so tired so he was a grumpybearr :(

yepp so that was my birthday...... started out emo but ended amazingly...and the weather was stunningly lovely too the whole day. =) Birthday present from up there i guess ^^ hahahah!

Today was sooo lovely. Met Tatcha after like AGES and we managed to drag our asses OUT of the heartlands into town!! lunch at Waraku after eons and eons of time... lovely curry udon... oooh!! and we made videos... of random stuff!! After lunch, we went to dhobyghaut to try and watch a movie, but the selection was really limited. then we wanted to dance, but all the dance studios in the area didn't have classes on! So we went to Cineleisure...and watched Alpha & Omega...noooo it's not a christian movie! it's a super gay canadian produced [ i think] movie about wolves and love. yes. it IS a children's movie. but how were we to know, right? hahahaha!!! Right when the movie started i looked at Tatcha in horror...wondering... OMG WE'RE SO SCREWED!!!! but guess what?? the movie was actually pretty funny. hahahaha! and the ending was some feel good fairytale ending. Thru the whole movie i was thinking about this friend who calls himself Wolf...and was wondering what he would think if he watched the movie!!!! hahahaha! gayest wolves everrrrrr. all fluffy and scrawny and they growl less scarily than my chihuahua. =D after the movieeeee, we shopped! and then had dessert at Marche. Lovely. Headed home for dinner, and we tried braiding our hair into cornrows!!! lmao. fail. Goes to show we're asian, not black! anddddd we tried out different hairstyles on each other. fun stuff =D

I'm mad exhausted now. Someone messaged me goodnight...so i guess it's time to zzzzzzzzz.

This year?
I started my official birth date off by crying while lying on my mom's bed.
Why? I dont really know. Basically cuz i thought of last year.. and how someone waited below my house at the lift lobby, just waiting for me to come home so he could wish me happy birthday and give me my presents. ahhaa. So i was crying and she was trying to comfort me like how only mothers can..

Then my Blackberry started ringing...
and it was my Facebook notifications going crazy with people wishing me happy birthday. People... and it could be YOU reading this right now. If it is, i wanna say thank you again cuz when my phone started ringing with all those notes from people who cared enough to say "hey, happy birthday".. it reminded me that life still goes on and even if he's not in the same place in my life anymore... hey! there're so many of my friends who wish me well and i can't be an asshole and sulk just cuz of yea....

I dont know if i got the message across clearly... so, THANKS YOU GUYSSSSS. Wo ai ni. I love you. Saranghaeyo. Aku cinta kamu. i frgot how to say it in Spanish... etc etc etc...

ANYWAY!!! I need give thanks. I really do.

I wanna thank my parents... firstly, for making me [i'm soo glad i dont knw exactly when where or HOW i was conceived] and secondly, for being the awesome parents that they are. I've prolly not appreciated them in the past? and sure we fight alot and dont see eye-to-eye on a bunch of things [generation gap lahhh] but thru everything and anything i know the ones who will always be there for me unquestioningly and without fail are my parents. I'm pretty sure my mom is like THE most epic mom cuz she gave up her career so she could homeschool me for yearssss... and she's always trying to understand me and 'cope' with me, especially during my 'rebellious' years. My dad is alwayssss ready to pick me up from anywhere at anytime if i just call him..and he's always the one who remembers my school schedule better than i do. Every new school i go to, he'll accompany me on my first day! My mom and my dad... love you guys!

In memory of Uncle Bill... you taught me so much..you taught me how to love animals..how to love nature..how to accept other people's culture.. you let me experience so much when i was so young.. and if you were still here, i'd want you to be proud of me. I love you.

Shoutout to Miss Agnes lim chai por...she taught me a whole bunch too while i was growing up... how to cuzz n swear in dialect...etc... HAHA! kiddin. But seriously.. she was the one who'd try to teach me to play sports... teach me how to drive [with her OWN CAR OKAY!]... teach me how to shoot lizards with rubber bands... she was like my third parent.. the slightly crazy one. I love ya girl! =)

Special shoutout to my girl, my bestie, my homie, my bitch, my bony skeleton with an ass..
Thanks girl for always making my birthday so frickin special. Last year she brought me to marina barrage for the first time.. and this yr she brought me to Universal Studios Singapore. haha. My very own singapore tour guide? Anyway. These years that i've known you, you've helped me learn stuff..helped me understand more stuff... helped me cope with stuff... not to mention helped me put on a whole bunch of weight.. but.. xD You're responsible in part for the person that i am today, on my 19th birthday.. and i wanna thank YOU for that. "Let this circle be unendin!"

This goes out to Taaaatchaa... my not so bony bestfriend... you keep me enjoying the simple things in life. and everytime i'm so stressed out i'm about to blow my brains out, you come up with something SO positive and radiant that i can't help but smile. Ever since Secondary 4, you've been in my life... and we've had what seems like a lifetime of epic memories together! I want more. I want you in my life forever xD Loveeee you babe!!

Anddddd this would be to someone better left unnamed... you taught me so much about love. Well, about what i think is love anyway. You were the first to hold my hand..the first to make me so in love i couldn't stop smiling.. the first to make me feel so sad it actually was a physical pain in the chest.. the first to make me fight for what i wanted. In your own weird way... you helped me with SO much these years i've known you. You've always forgiven me when i screw up...and you're there for me whenever i need a friend, even to this day. AND, you're always the one who can make me stop crying. Thanks for everything, im glad you're in my life. =)

Lastly i wanna thank the teachers in my life... which would include all my REAL teachers in SYAS and Southern[for awhile anyway x) ] and also my FRIENDS...cuz i believe you all have taught me something at one point or another. Thanks for making me who i am today...for better or for worse... i'm proud of who i am because it's not a finished product yet! I'm still learning and changing and i hope you will all be in my life to keep teaching me and making tiny lil impacts on my life like you do. I love y'all!!! Wouldn't be the same without you! [lza, ashes, dev, Shanshan, sha, zoee, jassy, jeereh, Jay, HJ, ET, len, fatboy, calv, eli, c'lang, a'drey, JDFY, da ge...just to name a few that i can remember right now ]

SOOOOOOO.
I may have more thanking to do later on today when i finish my test...but for now it's 2 am i think i'd better turn in before i FAIL the test due to lack of sleep. hahaha!!!

Nights world.
Mad love.

Rename the note as "I (passed/failed) as a (boy/girl). Tag 24 friends at the end of the quiz.

---YOUR BOY SIDE---
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[x] Dogs are better than cats
[ ] It’s hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] You have ever felt that shopping is torture.
[x] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own a car racing game currently.
[ ] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] You owned a DS, PS2, N64,or Sega before.
[ ] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You have watched sports on TV.
[ ] Gory movies are cool.
[x] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You used to collect hockey cards.
[x] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[x] It’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] Sports are fun.
[ ] You talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[x] You have fished at least once.

Total: 12/24

---YOUR GIRL SIDE---
[x] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You wear the color pink.
[x] You go to your mom to talk.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like going to the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] You cried watching The Notebook.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don’t like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in gymnastics.
[x] It takes you around one hour or more to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should.
[x] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[x] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] You like putting make-up on others.
[ ] You like being the star of everything.
[x] Pink is one of your favorite colors.

Total: 16/24

OKay i know i'm totally supposed to catch up with all my facebook notifications.. but im SOOOO TIREDDDD.
Got up at 8.AM....left the house and got to Novena by 1015 SHARP cuz someone doesn't like people to be late -_-''' then went for a frickin 3 hour long tuition at Starbucks. And nope, i cudn't finish the damn belgian waffles. OR my hot chocolate. T.T Damn foodpoisoning/stomachflu whatever thingy. Anyway! chilled with chacha for an hour before heading to Simei for another hour n a half of tuition... grrrr..... After which i headed BACK down to Novena to meet yt and visit Missy Tan in TTS. awww. but at least she can still feel her toesies. hehe! x) bought her fruits and meringue pie. didn't know what else to feed her. whaha. Later... my FIRST MEAL of the day at Sq 2... half a bowl of tomyum meehoonkweh. And guess what? thanks to the chilli....my cough has gone into a full blown sore throat. HAHAHA!

Reached home, showered, made a call to top up my energy, then grrrrrrr tried to balance a POA question, then moved on to do Statistics hw. not done yet. not gonna be done anytime soon. i'm gonna SLEEP.

Peace.

bluek.
let's see...
i'm sick, obviously! but not sure exactly with WHAT.

Idk what this equation equals to...
Diarrhea+cough+39degree fever=???

Today seems to be slightly better... maybe thanks to a friend entertaining me for two plus hours last night over the phone...altho my voice must've sounded like Darth Vader [female version but nonetheless still freaky] andd not to mention my incessant sneezing. -_-'''
Pretty touched/happy about that. =)

Missed church today. pssht. Saturdays dont feel very complete if i dont see Ms LYT... really wanted to eat Tomyum banmian at square 2 too!!! ='(

Ever since i came back i haven't been able to eat what ive wanted to eat! banmian...tomyum banmian... and now i just cant eat. -_-''' hahaha.

On thursday i ate two pieces of bread..one in the mrnn and one in the afternoon. then i ate a packet of plain crackers in the middle of the night. Then... friday mom bought rice and dishes and boiled it into a porridge for me. Managed to eat it...then almost threw it up. key word: almost. =D
Today i ate.....er... ooo! okay i ate soy beancurd, the tiny cupsized serving for breakfast.. but i cudn't finish it. Then for lunch i ate soup noodles with tofu and vegetables and a piece of mock duck meat. dinner was half a serving of momma's pasta with an orange. yayyy im getting better! i think.

Die die cannot relapse tmrw cuz mom's gonna go to work =( oh mannnn. Hope my fever doesn't come back. lollls

cheerios~~!

Everything is fine for now.. BTGOG... it may be a cliche so i'll turn it into an acronym.. but i feel it's true. Give thanks where thanks is due, right?

Urgh... I'm stranded in school cuz it was raining like CRAZY just now... and noww it's stopped, BUT i have class in an hour.. no time to go get lunch or photocopy my stuff. T.T WHYYYYYYY~

hahahahaha! Some smart ass asked me to call my friends or parents to pick me up....
errrr.. xP sureee.... i cudn't even call a bloody cab! LOL! Sg is gonna drownnn one day..for real.. if this rainy weather keeps up... we're gonna start sinking into the Pacific ocean or wherever we are!

speaking of cabs... i need to start saving taxi company phone numbers in my contact list. -_-'' had to call ppl and ask classmates to help me findddd taxi Co. numbers!!! grrrr.

soooo. I'm just slacking in th computer lab... nice place.. ate two currypuffs and kayatoast. *pukes* so sick of canteen food! I need a real square meal. If i eat one meal i cud prolly just not eat for the rest of the day but...NO FOOD AHHHHH.

let's see... what i'm thinking about right now.... oOOOO
I'm still PMS-ing like crazy... have been ever since before going on the Thailand trip [poor YT hahaha sry girly!] but the end is no where in sight. It's already the friggin 8th!!! howw longgg more. Maybe i really am going to give birth to tiny slides/swimming pools like TK said. hahaha!!! wtf?!

Anyway last night i was just doing my own thing right... like, chilling, and watching Rizzoli and Isles [new series] and eating random stuff [another reason i hate PMS] when someone msged me like out of the blue at 11:12pm..?! okay so now i believe in 11:11 + prayer... pretty awesome combination if u say a prayer when u see 11:11 ^^
It was like...super awkward...but it made my day.. actually it made my year.. lols... I just hope we survive the weirdness and actually make it work as friends... yeah? =) Wish me luck!!
PS: i dont know why you changed your mind...and you say it's something you wanna keep to yourself for now.. but i'm just glad i dont have to have you completely gone from my life. ^^

I guess i got one of my BFFs back!
Now i have all of my BFFs again.
Yt, Tk, Lza, F*ckgerald, and now **...
Love y'all soooo much. [mushy stuff start]
Even tho sometimes we may fight or piss each other off...just want to tell u how SPECIAL each n every one of you are.. in ur own unique way! I'm someone who can make friends easily with almost anyone...but find it very hard to find GOOD friends.. ppl who accept you as you are, who work with you thru whatever you're going thru, and who let you be there for them when it counts. Thanks for all the times u've been there for me...and i promise to do my very best to be there for you 24/7! xoxoxoooo~!
[mushy stuff end]

Okay now i think my cramps are here....but .... false alarmmm.... -_-''' i hate this. At first i never had cramps... then i started having cramps every month.. after that the cramps started getting more n more painful... and now i have cramps during my PMS???? sobs.

Thailand!!!!

Day 1, Airport, hotel, Platinum Fashion Mall, Night Market for dinner, then back to the hotel.

Day 2, Dreamworld, Chinatown for dinner, then a secret activity, and hotel room.

Day 3, Chatuchak, Pratunam street market [?] for dinner, Back to hotel.

Day 4, MBK, Pratunam street market again, da bao dinner back to hotel.

Day 5, Platinum Fashion Mall, Brief walk in the Street market again, then back to the hotel for last minute packing before heading to the airport... HOME!

Okay!!! So i was supposed to call up H when i got to Thailand but when i called the number didn't work!! sadddd =(

gonna write more later..like tonight or smth... highlights of the days!!!!! =D

WHahaha my first post back should totally be about Thailand, but again i need to write this down before i forget. -_-'''

I've told you i understand, i've told you i'm sorry, i've told you i missed you, and last but NOT least i've told you i love you.

Now, it's seriously time for me to shutup and sitdown.

Cuz after all that, if you're not going to do anything..
then that means one of two things.
either, 1, you NEED to grow a pair.
or, 2, you DONT love me enough to do anything.

Either way, it's your problem. :)
Even if i need to tie my hands or even leave the country WITHOUT autoroam...i WILL keep myself from saying anything else. haha.

Why? Cuz i've realized...i've done my part...i can't do anything more. if i do, it will be like i'm forcing you. Thanks to smth yt said that kept me thinking thru the whole entire trip..... "mian qiang shi mei you xin fu de"

When you wake up next to her
do you smile at her like you used to smile at me?
When you wake up next to her
do you tell her how your bones have 'fused together'?

nahh i'm just ramblin'.. dont take me seriously. hahaha.

想念用中文写。。
现在应该会写得不好。。
也没什么‘情绪’写。。。
今天就要走了。。
突然有点怕怕。。泰国也不是安全到哪里去啦。。
就好想再见到你。。想要你陪着我。。保护我。。
也很想要再有机会逗你笑，想要能让你开心多一次。。
看你微笑已经是个习惯。。听你笑生也就是一个习惯。。
我想。。你记不得我们开心的日子了吧？有一段时间我也是。。只记得我们的伤心的事。。想不起来开心的回忆。。

又写废话给自己读。。。
也好吧。。
我还记得。。你说得最好笑的一句。。“没人知道就不丢脸了！”
这个嘛。。你不知道就不丢脸了~

Peace out b*tches! xD

Been a long time since i've done a fun survey!! LOVE surveys! =D
Don't judge me pleasee ;)

7 Deadly Sins

Gluttony

1. Do you think you eat more than you should? I used to!! But I have better control now.

2. What is your favorite meal? Ban Mian and/or pasta!!

3. What did you have for dinner today (or yesterday)? Wonton Mee! courtesy of mom ;)

4. What is your favorite dessert? Cake and/or Ice Kachang

5. Can you cook well? Hellll no. He can cook better than me anytime. lmao.
6. Are you a fruit or veggie person? Both!!!

7. What is your favorite restaurant to go to? Spaggeddies/Duo Le

8. Do you feel comfortable with your weight? NO! omg.... I need to lose at least 5 Kilos.

9. Are you vegetarian or vegan? vegetarian....i do require eggs and dairy products. lolll
10. Describe your normal eating habits. Okay. nowadays I eat a brunch, and a lunch or dinner.. With a cup of milk tea inbetween. X) If i'm forced to socialize, then i eat three meals.

Lust
1. How much do you find yourself thinking about sex? LOL!!!!! Every 30 seconds. HAHAHA kidding. Dont know, maybe once a day... cuz i listen to songs and the lyrics usually register in my head....then i start thinking ooo how's THAT physically possible etc. hahaha!!!

2. Are you still a virgin? Yes...like, technically, not physically, cuz the thingy they say is supposed to be there I CAN'T BLOODY FIND IT. lmfao.

3. If not, who did you lose your virginity to and when? i am lor.. -_-'''

4. Do you believe you should be in love to have sex? Yes.. that would be the only way i'll have sex. =)

5. Have you ever cheated on your significant other? Errrrr once. not proud of it.

6. What the first thing you look for in a boy/girl? I'm not sure really...it's too complicated a process to identify the first step. ^_^

7. Do you have any special fantasies? There are kids on facebook ;P

8. Have you been in lust more than love? Not in a relationship..no.. but yeah i've been like O.M.G that guy is soooo hottttt! hahahah!

9. Would you have sex with more than one person? At a time?? er I dont think that's physically possible....

10. Who in your life do you feel the most lust for? Him. -_-''' Unfortunately. Cuz i miss him alot. Before the sermon on Saturday I'd thought about losing it with him. Which in retrospect was a totally bad idea. =P

Greed

1. What do you want more than anything right now? Something i wont get.

2. Does money play an important part of your life? Yes...cuz without it i can't BUY STUFF. like food.

3. What are your goals for the future? At first I wanted to get married and be a mom. Plan B would be to excel in my carreer and sell my life to the corporate world. *shudders*

4. Do you think money is more important than love? Noooooo.

5. If you were given one million dollars right now, what would you do with it? invest 250, buy property overseas with another 250, fix D 250 in my parents name, then prolly go overseas to study since with the additional cash i could prolly rent an apartment that would let me bring my doggy with me! =D

6. Has anyone ever called you spoiled or greedy? Not that i know of.

7. Do your parents have a lot of money? Nope. Just Normal.

8. How much money do you spend in one week? About 50-100...

9. Do/would you share with people that are less fortunate? Depends.. x) I have a soft spot for old people...

10. Have you ever robbed someone? Whaaat? Hellll no.

Sloth

1. Have many people called you lazy? My mom. Lmao.

2. How much sleep do you get at night? depends...if i have no school then maybe 10 hours. if i'm working or have school then maybe 5 hours?

3. Do you often take naps in the middle of the day? i used to..now i dont. =(

4. What was the most depressing time of your life? NOW.

5. What is the best way to relax? Watch tv or sleep or read a book. haha.

6. Would you consider yourself more of a follower or leader? Depends on my mood. Some days i can't make a single decision, other days i can't NOT make a decision.

7. Would you consider yourself a caring person? Yes. But only to those close to me.

8. What time do you go to bed at night? Usually not before 1 am.

9. What do you waste most of your time doing? Watching tv/movies. i know it's bad but it helps make me NOT think about stupid things.

10. Would you rather go out somewhere or stay home? Depends!!! =D Sometimes if i'm lethargic i prefer stayin in bed ;D

Wrath

1. Who was the last person you were upset with? This fool that was talking so loudly while i was trying to give tuition. grrrr.

2. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to someone? Cut up their stuff. And i feel REALLY REALLY BAD about it. buttttt that was prolly the most angry i've ever ever been in my life.. so... yea.

3. Do you hate anyone? Nope...not anymore.

4. Are you angry a lot? Yea....I dont always show it though and it blows over fast. =)

5. What was the last thing that made you mad? Like i said, that person yelling in bahasa while i was teaching. -_-'''

6. Have you even been in a physical fight with someone? When i was young, this indian boy started hitting me. So i kept blocking him anddddd nope i didn't hit him back. Does it count? Lols.

7. Has there been a time that you wanted to seek revenge? Yeah... i was so angry i would have stabbed him with a knife if i'd had a chance. But then i got over it. hahahaha.

8. What is your biggest pet peeve? Inconsiderate people who dont think.

9. How do you express your anger and frustration? Usually by writing.. or bitching out the person. haha.

10. Is it easy for you to forgive? The closer i am to you, the easier it is to forgive. it will take months sometimes but i'll get there. for people i'm not close to? Well pretty much never. ahahaha.

Envy

1. Who are you most jealous of? Those skinny girls you see walking on the street. lols!

2. What is something you want that your best friend has? YT: Lack of fats. Tatcha: err...assets. Lza: Gorgeous hair. Ashes: Grey eyes!!! hahahaha. Okay now GIMME! =D

3. What is one thing you think you are lacking in life? Him. T.T But like whatever luh...

5. How would you consider yourself lucky? I'm alive, and i'm not disfigured.

6. Unlucky? I get fat easily. Hahahah!

7. Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? Of course! Who hasnt? haha.

8. Overall, do you think you have everything you need? No...cuz i dont have the one veryyyy impt thing that i need.

9. Is there anyone that has been envious of you? No idea. It's not like they're gonna tell me right? like, HEY I ENVY YOU, BITCH. hahaha!

10. Do you want a better life than what you have? My life is pretty damn good thank you =)

Pride

1. What is your best physical feature? I dont think i have one. Why dont YOU tell me -_-'''

2. What do you like most about your personality? Loyalty to my best friends prolly.

3. How much time do you take to get ready in the morning? About an hour. Shower...find clothes...fix hair...

4. Do you wear a lot of make-up? nope... Just eye makeup usually.

5. How often do you go shopping? Depends....not very often.. dont have things to shop for..

6. Are your looks very important to you? Yeaaaa sometimes... if there's someone i wanna impress around. hahahahaahaha. THere i said it!

7. Would you ever like to be a model? Sure...it'd be fun.. i like human photography.

8. What could be improved about your body? LESS FATS PLEASE. omg.

9. Do you think that you’re better than others? I think i'm just Average ;)

10. What is your most embarrassing moment? Probably those times in the morning when i wake up and i'm like OH MAN WHY'D I DO THAT???? yeah. lols.

What im wondering now is.... WHO THE HELL is in canada and reads my blog???? 0.O

lols...
hmmmm.

So i woke up in a perfectly fine mood... but now i'm in one of THOSE moods. Grrrrrr.

Dont feel like doing anything. and suddenly really really want to cry.
Maybe it's cuz now i know for sure that you've not come here since like, forever.

and my doggy is still sick. Dont know if he's gonna be fine when i leave.

....... seriously just #$% it all.