I try to find clarity in this constantly changing world.
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Went on what felt like a first date on Tuesday evening. ;)
Just because, I'm going to write a happy post today!!! Lol.
Yesterday was tiring, but went to watch This Means War after work with devikins :)) had so much fun with that chiquita hahaa! And this sounds creepy but I couldn't stop staring at her hair (lol hi dev!!!) cuz it was gorgeously natural and black and silky-ish haha! After the movie we went shopping and I got a black faux leather bandage skirt (not bondage skirt)! Freakin happy but okay, last buy. Seriously. Until next month! Also picked up two super cute hair clips, the good quality kind that wont screw with your hair when you take them out haha xD methinks I should send some to Liza baby. ^.^
After that we went to coffee bean ( ew I know right) since there was no Starbucks we could find, had cheesecake and gabbed on and on and on about "life, in general." :))
Shall be insanely sleepy today but that's okay!! I always feel rejuvenated after my middle of the week outing! Hehe~
On the train now, and guess what? It's the NEL's turn to break down. I guess I always knew this day would come. Hahahaha. At least I'll make it to serangoon before transferring. :)
It's a cold grey morning...
A lot like how I feel.
Cold and black inside. Not really grey.
Just so tired of having to fake it for everyone.
I'm not happy.
Am I supposed to be?
It seems like when I'm in pain I'm supposed to smile, when I'm crying inside im supposed to laugh on the outside. When I feel like just giving up, I'm not allowed to show it because then you'd just take it as an excuse to leave.
Just wish we could change brains and hearts for a day so we can understand each other better.
But that only happens in movies.
You'll never feel the terror and insecurity, you'll never feel the constant nagging ache in your heart that never goes away. You don't understand how it gets too much to bear but I still do my best to pretend like I'm fine just for you.
I don't understand anything anymore. Just like some dumb mute beast who feels pain but can do nothing to stop it.<\i)
I'm on a quest for self improvement. Lol! Now that I don't have to worry about exams and homework? Im going to do things like ...
Learn the gu zheng!!!
I've wanted to try it ever since I was ten? Or somewhere around that age! Hahaa~ also thanks to the popular drama series Huan Zhu Ge Ge...I grew up wanted to be like Zi Wei.. And of courseeee she played the gu zheng haha. Anyway!
I'm excited!! Already found a teacher who sounds lovely over the phone, but I've yet to get a gu zheng. -.- so of anyone anyone reads this and knows anyone who wants to sell off a second hand one?! You know what to do!! I need one ASAP.
Okay. I'm out.
Blog later ~~
Okay.
I'm aware I haven't Been blogging. Haha! What can I say? Busy. Busy. Busy. Been catching the sunrise everyday though!
Started work on Monday. Yes. Full time work. My very first real job with a real pay check (hopefully)! My first day was incredibly slack but the second and third days have been harder. Today was my first day doing work on my own without help(much) and I finished a box of simple invoices. Happy happy happy.
I have this huge fear of being unable to perform well at jobs. One of my biggest nightmares. Failure in general, actually. Lol! Type A much?
Anyway! Today I'm going straight home! Monday after work I had to go for my grandma's birthday dinner, likely Thai place near the river, and yesterday I was working in freakin Tuas, so the company bus dropped me at yishun where I shopped for lingerie (again) and had dinner with someone. :))
Been a good week so far, even though I kinda fall asleep the moment I lie down hahaha.
Tomorrow I'm meeting my darling tatcha for dinner!!! We're gonna go for sushi~~~! Miss that sexy girl. ;)
Pictures attached are from Monday's dinner and misc.
Smile a little,
because you're beautiful, girl.
Don't let it bring you down,
Because time will tell,
And everyone is special in their own way.
Smile a little,
Because life doesn't get easier, girl.
It gets harder each year,
But we get stronger,
And everything will seem a little better when someone special makes you smile.
Smile a little,
People may bring you down, girl.
They don't see much beyond the surface,
But keep true to yourself,
And those that deserve to will see the real you.
Smile a little, girl.
You're just a little girl in a very big world.
So smile a little, laugh a little, and believe a little.
You'll get stronger each day.
Had another fun day today. Okay. Fun is a bit of an overstatement since right now I'm having a nice bout of dust allergies. But yeah. It was pretty awesome :) ate rice for lunch. And half a Tao Suan. Great stuff but now I'm hungry. Time to sleep soon!
Oh and yes! I have gotten confirmation for the job so I'm starting Monday! Signing contracts and stuff tomorrow. It won't seem real till I start my first day. So excited! Love the working hours and location. Because after work is just perfect for me to go into town and have dinner with my dad or friends :) opposite direction of the rush hour!!! :)
Okay. Bedtime!